HERMES
O most sapient worthy farmers, listen now and understand, If you fain would learn the reason, why it was she left the land. Pheidias began the mischief, having come to grief and shame, Pericles was next in order, fearing he might share the blame, Dreading much your hasty temper, and your savage bulldog ways, So before misfortune reached him, he contrived a flame to raise, By his Megara-enactment setting all the world ablaze.
HERMES Such a bitter smoke ascended while the flames of war he blew, That from every eye in Hellas everywhere the tears it drew. Wailed the vine, and rent its branches, when the evil news it heard; Butt on butt was dashed and shivered, by revenge and anger stirred; There was none to stay the tumult; Peace in silence disappeared.
TRYGAEUS By Apollo I had never heard these simple facts narrated, No, nor knew she was so closely to our Pheidias related.
CHORUS No, nor I, till just this moment: that is why she looks so fair. Goodness me! how many things escape our notice I declare.
HERMES Then when once the subject cities, over whom ye bare the sway, Saw you at each other snarling, growling angrier day by day, To escape the contributions, every willing nerve they strained,
HERMES And the chief Laconian leaders by enormous bribes they gained. These at once for filthy lucre, guest-deluders as they are, Hustling out this gracious lady, greedily embraced the War. But from this their own advantage ruin to their farmers came; For from hence the eager galleys sailing forth with vengeful aim, Swallowed up the figs of people who were not, perchance, to blame.
TRYGAEUS Very justly, very justly! richly had they earned the blow, Lopping down the dusky fig-tree I had loved and nurtured so.
CHORUS Very justly, very justly! since my great capacious bin, Ugh! the rascals came across it, took a stone, and stove it in,
HERMES Then your labouring population, flocking in from vale and plain, Never dreamed that, like the others, they themselves were sold for gain; But as having lost their grape-stones, and desiring figs to get, Every one his rapt attention on the public speakers set; These beheld you poor and famished, lacking all your home supplies, Straight they pitchforked out the Goddess, scouting her with yells and cries, Whensoe’er (for much she loved you) back she turned with wistful eyes. Then with suits they vexed and harassed your substantial rich allies, Whispering in your ear, “The fellow leans to Brasidas,” and you Like a pack of hounds in chorus on the quivering victim flew. Yea, the City, sick and pallid, shivering with disease and fright, Any calumny they cast her, ate with ravenous appetite. Till at last your friends perceiving whence their heavy wounds arose, Stopped with gold the mouths of speakers who were such disastrous foes.
HERMES Thus the scoundrels throve and prospered: whilst distracted Hellas came Unobserved to wrack and ruin: but the fellow most to blame Was a tanner.
TRYGAEUS Softly, softly, Hermes master, say not so; Let the man remain in silence, wheresoe’er he is, below; For the man is ours no longer: he is all your own, you know; Therefore whatsoe’er you call him, Knave and slave while yet amongst us, Wrangler, jangler, false accuser, Troubler, muddler, all-confuser You will all these names be calling One who now is yours alone. (To Peace.) But tell me, lady, why you stand so mute?
HERMES Oh, she won’t speak one word before this audience: No, no; they’ve wronged her far too much for that.
TRYGAEUS Then won’t she whisper, all alone, to you?
HERMES Will you, my dearest, speak your thoughts to me? Come, of all ladies most shield-handle-hating. (Affects to listen.) Yes, good; that’s their offence: I understand. Listen, spectators, why she blames you so. She says that after that affair in Pylus She came, unbidden, with a chest of treaties, And thrice you blackballed her in full assembly.
TRYGAEUS We erred in that; but, lady, pardon us,
TRYGAEUS For then our wits were swaddled up in skins.
HERMES Well then, attend to what she asks me now. Who in your city loves her least? and who Loves her the best and shrinks from fighting most?
TRYGAEUS Cleonymus, I think, by far the most.
HERMES What sort of man is this Cleonymus In military matters?
TRYGAEUS Excellent: Only he’s not his so-called father’s son; For if he goes to battle, in a trice He proves himself a castaway - of shields.
HERMES Still further listen what she asks me now. Who is it now that sways the Assembly stone?
TRYGAEUS Hyperbolus at present holds the place. But how now, Mistress? Why avert your eyes?
HERMES She turns away in anger from the people, For taking to itself so vile a leader.
TRYGAEUS He’s a mere makeshift: we’ll not use him now. ’Twas that the people, bare and stripped of leaders, Just caught him up to gird itself withal.
HERMES She asks how this can benefit the state,
TRYGAEUS ’Twill make our counsels brighter.
HERMES Will it? how?
TRYGAEUS Because he deals in lamps: before he came We all were groping in the dark, but now His lamps may give our council-board some light,
HERMES Oh! oh! What things she wants to know!
TRYGAEUS What sort of things?
HERMES All the old things existing when she left. And first, she asks if Sophocles be well.
TRYGAEUS He’s well, but strangely metamorphosed.
HERMES How?
TRYGAEUS He’s now Simonides, not Sophocles,
HERMES What do you mean?
TRYGAEUS He’s grown so old and sordid, He’d put to sea upon a sieve for money.
HERMES Lives the old wit Cratinus?
TRYGAEUS No; he perished
TRYGAEUS When the Laconians made their raid.
HERMES How so?
TRYGAEUS Swooned dead away: he could not bear to see A jolly butt of wine all smashed and wasted. Much, much beside we’ve suffered; wherefore, lady, We’ll never never let you go again.
HERMES Then on these terms I’ll give you Harvesthome To be your bride and partner in your fields. Take her to wife, and propagate young vines.
TRYGAEUS O Harvesthome! come here and let me kiss you. But, Hermes, won’t it hurt me if I make Too free with fruits of Harvesthome at first?
HERMES Not if you add a dose of pennyroyal. But, since you’re going, please to take Mayfair Back to the Council, whose of old she was.
TRYGAEUS O happy Council to possess Mayfair! O what a three-days’ carnival you’ll have! What soup! what tripe! what delicate tender meat! But fare thee well, dear Hermes.
HERMES And do you Farewell, dear mortal, and remember me.
TRYGAEUS Home, home, my beetle! let us now fly home.
HERMES Your beetle’s gone, my friend.
TRYGAEUS Why, where’s he gone to?
HERMES Yoked to the car of Zeus, he bears the thunder.
TRYGAEUS What will he get to eat, poor creature, there?
HERMES Why, Ganymede’s ambrosia, to be sure.
TRYGAEUS And how shall I get down?
HERMES O well enough. There, by the side of Peace.
TRYGAEUS Now girls, now girls, Keep close to me: our youngsters I well know Are sore all over for the love of you.
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