TRYGAEUS O what a job it was to reach the Gods! I know I’m right fatigued in both my legs. How small ye seemed down here! why from above Methought ye looked as bad as bad could be, But here ye look considerably worse.
SERVANT What, master, you returned!
TRYGAEUS So I’m informed.
SERVANT What have you got?
TRYGAEUS Got? pains in both my legs. Faith! it’s a rare long way.
SERVANT Nay, tell me,
TRYGAEUS What?
SERVANT Did you see any wandering in the air Besides yourself?
TRYGAEUS No; nothing much to speak of, Two or three souls of dithyrambic poets.
SERVANT What were they after?
TRYGAEUS Flitting round for odes, Those floating-on-high-in-the-airy-sky affairs.
SERVANT Then ’tisn’t true what people say about it, That when we die, we straightway turn to stars?
TRYGAEUS O yes it is.
SERVANT And who’s the star there now?
TRYGAEUS Ion of Chios, who on earth composed “Star o’ the Morn,” and when he came there, all At once saluted him as “Star o’ the Morn.”
SERVANT And did you learn about those falling stars Which sparkle as they run?
TRYGAEUS Yes, those are some Of the rich stars returning home from supper, Lanterns in hand, and in the lanterns fire. But take this girl at once, and lead her in; Deluge the bath, and make the water warm; Then spread the nuptial couch for her and me: And when you’ve finished, hither come again. Meanwhile I’ll give this other to the Council.
SERVANT Whence have you brought these maidens?
TRYGAEUS Whence? from heaven.
SERVANT I wouldn’t give three halfpence for the Gods
SERVANT If they keep brothels as we mortals do.
TRYGAEUS No, no: yet even there some live by these.
SERVANT Come on then, mistress: tell me, must I give her Nothing to eat?
TRYGAEUS O no, she will not touch Our wheat and barley bread: her wont has been To lap ambrosia with the Gods in heaven.
SERVANT Lap! we’ll prepare her lap then here on earth.
CHORUS O what a lucky old man! Truly the whole of your plan Prospers as well as it can.
TRYGAEUS I really wonder what you’ll say when I’m a bridegroom spruce and gay.
CHORUS All men will gaze with delight. Old as you are you’ll be quite Youthful and perfumed and bright.
TRYGAEUS What, when you see her tender waist by these encircling arms embraced?
CHORUS Why then we’ll think you happier far than Carcinus’s twistlings are.
TRYGAEUS And justly too, methinks, for I On beetleback essayed to fly, And rescued Hellas, worn with strife,
TRYGAEUS And stored your life With pleasant joys of home and wife, With country mirth and leisure.
SERVANT Well, sir, the girl has bathed and looks divinely: They mix the puddings, and they’ve made the cakes; Everything’s done: we only want the husband.
TRYGAEUS Come then and let us give Mayfair at once Up to the Council.
SERVANT What do you say? Mayfair! Is this May Fair? the Fair we kept at Brauron, When we were fresh and mellow, years ago?
TRYGAEUS Aye, and ’twas work enough to catch her.
SERVANT O! How neat her pasterns, quite a five-year-old.
TRYGAEUS (Looking round upon the audience.) Now, have you any there that I can trust? One who will lead her safely to the Council? (To the servant.) What are you scribbling?
SERVANT Marking out a place
SERVANT To pitch my tent in, at the Isthmian games.
TRYGAEUS Well, is there none can take her? come to me then; I’ll go myself, and set you down amongst them,
SERVANT Here’s someone making signs.
TRYGAEUS Who is it?
SERVANT Who! Ariphrades: he wants her brought his way.
TRYGAEUS No: I can’t bear his dirty sloppy way. So come to me, and lay those parcels down. (Leads her forward towards the Βουλευτικόν.) Councillors! Magistrates! behold May Fair! And O remember what a deal of fun That word implies: what pastimes and what feasts. See here’s a famous kitchen-range she brings; ’Tis blacked a little: for in times of Peace The jovial Council kept its saucepans there. Take her and welcome her with joy; and then
TRYGAEUS To-morrow morning let the sports begin: Then we’ll enjoy the Fair in every fashion, With boxing-matches and with wrestling bouts, And tricks and games, while striplings soused in oil Try the pancratium, fist and leg combined. Then the third day from this, we’ll hold the races; The eager jockeys riding: the great cars Puffing and blowing through the lists, till dashed Full on some turning-post, they reel and fall Over and over: everywhere you see The hapless coachmen wallowing on the plain. You lucky Magistrate, receive Mayfair! Just look, how pleased he seems to introduce her; You would not though, if you got nothing by it, No, you’d be holding a Reception day.
CHORUS Truly we envy your fate: All must allow you’re a great Blessing and boon to the state.
TRYGAEUS Ah, when your grapes you gather in, you’ll know what sort of friend I’ve been.
CHORUS Nay, but already ’tis known; Yea, for already we own You have preserved us alone.
TRYGAEUS I think you’ll think so when you drain a bowl of newmade wine again.
CHORUS We’ll always hold you first and best, except the Gods the ever blest.
TRYGAEUS In truth you owe a deal to me, Trygaeus sprung from Athmoné, For I’ve released the burgher crew And farmers too From toils and troubles not a few; Hyperbolus I’ve done for.
SERVANT Now what’s the next thing that we have to do?
TRYGAEUS What but to dedicate her shrine with pipkins?
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