Πρωτεσίλεως ὦ δέσποτα καὶ βασιλεῦ καὶ ἡμέτερε Ζεῦ καὶ σὺ Δήμητρος θύγατερ, μὴ ὑπερίδητε δέησιν ἐρωτικήν.
Πλούτων σὺ δὲ τίνων δέῃ παρʼ ἡμῶν; ἢ τίς ὢν τυγχάνεις;
Πρωτεσίλεως εἰμὶ μὲν Πρωτεσίλεως ὁ Ἰφίκλου Φυλάκιος συστρατιώτης τῶν Ἀχαιῶν καὶ πρῶτος ἀποθανὼν τῶν ἐπʼ Ἰλίῳ. δέομαι δὲ ἀφεθεὶς πρὸς ὀλίγον ἀναβιῶναι πάλιν.
Πλούτων τοῦτον μὲν τὸν ἔρωτα, ὦ Πρωτεσίλαε, πάντες νεκροὶ ἐρῶσι, πλὴν οὐδεὶς ἂν αὐτῶν τύχοι.
Πρωτεσίλεως ἀλλʼ οὐ τοῦ ζῆν, Ἀϊδωνεῦ, ἐρῶ ἔγωγε, τῆς γυναικὸς δέ, ἣν νεόγαμον ἔτι ἐν τῷ θαλάμῳ καταλιπὼν ᾠχόμην ἀποπλέων, εἶτα ὁ κακοδαίμων ἐν τῇ ἀποβάσει ἀπέθανον ὑπὸ τοῦ Ἕκτορος. ὁ οὖν ἔρως τῆς γυναικὸς οὐ μετρίως ἀποκναίει με, ὦ δέσποτα, καὶ βούλομαι κἂν πρὸς ὀλίγον ὀφθεὶς αὐτῇ καταβῆναι πάλιν.
Πλούτων οὐκ ἔπιες, ὦ Πρωτεσίλαε, τὸ Λήθης ὕδωρ;
Πρωτεσίλεως καὶ μάλα, ὦ δέσποτα· τὸ δὲ πρᾶγμα ὑπέρογκον ἦν.
Πλούτων οὐκοῦν περίμεινον· ἀφίξεται γὰρ κἀκείνη ποτὲ καὶ οὐδὲ σὲ ἀνελθεῖν δεήσει.
Πρωτεσίλεως ἀλλʼ οὐ φέρω τὴν διατριβήν, ὦ Πλούτων· ἠράσθης δὲ καὶ αὐτὸς ἤδη καὶ οἶσθα οἷον τὸ ἐρᾶν ἐστιν.
Πλούτων εἶτα τί σε ὀνήσει μίαν ἡμέραν ἀναβιῶναι μετʼ ὀλίγον τὰ αὐτὰ ὀδυρόμενον;
Πρωτεσίλεως οἶμαι πείσειν κἀκείνην ἀκολουθεῖν παρʼ ὑμᾶς, ὥστε ἀνθʼ ἑνὸς δύο νεκροὺς λήψει μετʼ ὀλίγον.
Πλούτων οὐ θέμις γενέσθαι ταῦτα οὐδὲ γέγονε πώποτε.
Πρωτεσίλεως ἀναμνήσω σε, ὦ Πλούτων· Ὀρφεῖ γὰρ δι’ αὐτὴν ταύτην τὴν αἰτίαν τὴν Εὐρυδίκην παρέδοτε καὶ τὴν ὁμογενῆ μου Ἄλκηστιν παρεπέμψατε Ἡρακλεῖ χαριζόμενοι.
Πλούτων θελήσεις δὲ οὕτως κρανίον γυμνὸν ὢν καὶ ἄμορφον τῇ καλῇ σου ἐκείνῃ νύμφῃ φανῆναι; πῶς δὲ κἀκείνη προσήσεταί σε οὐδὲ δυναμένη διαγνῶναι; φοβή σεται γὰρ εὖ οἶδα καὶ φεύξεταί σε καὶ μάτην ἔσῃ τοσαύτην ὁδὸν ἀνεληλυθώς.
Περσεφόνη οὐκοῦν, ὦ ἄνερ, σὺ καὶ τοῦτο ἴασαι καὶ τὸν Ἑρμῆν κέλευσον, ἐπειδὰν ἐν τῷ φωτὶ ἤδη ὁ Πρωτεσίλαος ᾖ, καθικόμενον τῇ ῥάβδῳ νεανίαν εὐθὺς καλὸν ἀπεργάσασθαι αὐτόν, οἷος ἦν ἐκ τοῦ παστοῦ.
Πλούτων ἐπεὶ Φερσεφόνῃ συνδοκεῖ, ἀναγαγὼν τοῦτον αὖθις ποίησον νυμφίον· σὺ δὲ μέμνησο μίαν λαβὼν ἡμέραν.
PROTESILAUS Lord, King, our Zeus! and thou, daughter of Demeter! Grant a lover’s boon!
PLUTO What do you want? who are you?
PROTESILAUS Protesilaus, son of Iphiclus, of Phylace, one of the Achaean host, the first that died at Troy. And the boon I ask is release and one day’s life.
PLUTO Ah, friend, that is the love that all these dead men love, and none shall ever win.
PROTESILAUS Nay, dread lord, ‘tis not life I love, but the bride that I left new wedded in my chamber that day I sailed away—ah me, to be slain by Hector as my foot touched land! My lord, that yearning gives me no peace. I return content, if she might look on me but for an hour.
PLUTO Did you miss your dose of Lethe, man?
PROTESILAUS Nay, lord; but this prevailed against it.
PLUTO Oh, well, wait a little; she will come to you one day; it is so simple; no need for you to be going up.
PROTESILAUS My heart is sick with hope deferred; thou too, O Pluto, hast loved; thou knowest what love is.
PLUTO What good will it do you to come to life for a day, and then renew your pains?
PROTESILAUS I think to win her to come with me, and bring two dead for one.
PLUTO It may not be; it never has been.
PROTESILAUS Bethink thee, Pluto. ‘Twas for this same cause that ye gave Orpheus his Eurydice; and Heracles had interest enough to be granted Alcestis; she was of my kin.
PLUTO Would you like to present that bare ugly skull to your fair bride? will she admit you, when she cannot tell you from another man? I know well enough; she will be frightened and run from you, and you will have gone all that way for nothing.
PERSEPHONE Husband, doctor that disease yourself: tell Hermes, as soon as Protesilaus reaches the light, to touch him with his wand, and make him young and fair as when he left the bridal chamber.
PLUTO Well, I cannot refuse a lady. Hermes, take him up and turn him into a bridegroom. But mind, you sir, a strictly temporary one.
Διογένης ὦ Κάρ, ἐπὶ τίνι μέγα φρονεῖς καὶ πάντων ἡμῶν προτιμᾶσθαι ἀξιοῖς;
Μαύσωλος καὶ ἐπὶ τῇ βασιλείᾳ μέν, ὦ Σινωπεῦ, ὃς ἐβασίλευσα Καρίας μὲν ἁπάσης, ἦρξα δὲ καὶ Λυδῶν ἐνίων καὶ νήσους δέ τινας ὑπηγαγόμην καὶ ἄχρι Μιλήτου ἐπέβην τὰ πολλὰ τῆς Ἰωνίας καταστρεφόμενος· καὶ καλὸς ἦν καὶ μέγας καὶ ἐν πολέμοις καρτερός· τὸ δὲ μέγιστον, ὅτι ἐν Ἁλικαρνασσῷ μνῆμα παμμέγεθες ἔχω ἐπικείμενον, ἡλίκον οὐκ ἄλλος νεκρός, ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ οὕτως ἐς κάλλος ἐξησκημένον, ἵππων καὶ ἀνδρῶν ἐς τὸ ἀκριβέστατον εἰκασμένων λίθου τοῦ καλλίστου, οἷον οὐδὲ νεὼν εὕροι τις ἂν ῥᾳδίως. οὐ δοκῶ σοι δικαίως ἐπὶ τούτοις μέγα φρονεῖν;
Διογένης ἐπὶ τῇ βασιλείᾳ φὴς καὶ τῷ κάλλει καὶ τῷ βάρει τοῦ τάφου;
Μαύσωλος νὴ Δίʼ ἐπὶ τούτοις.
Διογένης ἀλλʼ, ὦ καλὲ Μαύσωλε, οὔτε ἡ ἰσχὺς ἐκείνη ἔτι σοι οὔτε ἡ μορφὴ πάρεστιν· εἰ γοῦν τινα ἑλοίμεθα δικαστὴν εὐμορφίας πέρι, οὐκ ἔχω εἰπεῖν, τίνος ἕνεκα τὸ σὸν κρανίον προτιμηθείη ἂν τοῦ ἐμοῦ· φαλακρὰ γὰρ ἄμφω καὶ γυμνά, καὶ τοὺς ὀδόντας ὁμοίως προφαίνομεν καὶ τοὺς ὀφθαλμοὺς ἀφῃρήμεθα καὶ τὰς ῥῖνας ἀποσεσιμώμεθα. ὁ δὲ τάφος καὶ οἱ πολυτελεῖς ἐκεῖνοι λίθοι Ἁλικαρνασσεῦσι μὲν ἴσως εἶεν ἐπιδείκνυσθαι καὶ φιλοτιμεῖσθαι πρὸς τοὺς ξένους, ὡς δή τι μέγα οἰκοδόμημα αὐτοῖς ἐστι· σὺ δέ, ὦ βέλτιστε, οὐχ ὁρῶ ὅ τι ἀπολαύεις αὐτοῦ, πλὴν εἰ μὴ τοῦτο φης, ὅτι μᾶλλον ἡμῶν ἀχθοφορεῖς ὑπὸ τηλικούτοις λίθοις πιεζόμενος.
Μαύσωλος ἀνόνητα οὖν μοι ἐκεῖνα πάντα καὶ ἰσότιμος ἔσται Μαύσωλος καὶ Διογένης;
Διογένης οὐκ ἰσότιμος, ὦ γενναιότατε, οὐ γάρ· Μαύσωλος μὲν γὰρ οἰμώξεται μεμνημένος τῶν ὑπὲρ γῆς, ἐν οἷς εὐδαιμονεῖν ᾤετο, Διογένης δὲ καταγελάσεται αὐτοῦ. καὶ τάφον ὁ μὲν ἐν Ἁλικαρνασσῷ ἐρεῖ ἑαυτοῦ ὑπὸ Ἀρτεμισίας τῆς γυναικὸς καὶ ἀδελφῆς κατεσκευασμένον, ὁ Διογένης δὲ τοῦ μὲν σώματος εἰ καί τινα τάφον ἔχει οὐκ οἶδεν· οὐδὲ γὰρ ἔμελεν αὐτῷ τούτου· λόγον δὲ τοῖς ἀρίστοις περὶ αὑτοῦ καταλέλοιπεν ἀνδρὸς βίον βεβιωκὼς ὑψηλότερον, ὦ Καρῶν ἀνδραποδωδέστατε, τοῦ σοῦ μνήματος καὶ ἐν βεβαιοτέρῳ χωρίῳ κατεσκευασμένον.
DIOGENES Why so proud, Carian? How are you better than the rest of us?
MAUSOLUS Sinopean, to begin with, I was a king; king of all Caria, ruler of many Lydians, subduer of islands, conqueror of well-nigh the whole of Ionia, even to the borders of Miletus. Further, I was comely, and of noble stature, and a mighty warrior. Finally, a vast tomb lies over me in Halicarnassus, of such dimensions, of such exquisite beauty as no other shade can boast. Thereon are the perfect semblances of man and horse, carved in the fairest marble; scarcely may a temple be found to match it. These are the grounds of my pride: are they inadequate?
DIOGENES Kingship—beauty—heavy tomb; is that it?
MAUSOLUS It is as you say.
DIOGENES But, my handsome Mausolus, the power and the beauty are no longer there. If we were to appoint an umpire now on the question of comeliness, I see no reason why he should prefer your skull to mine. Both are bald, and bare of flesh; our teeth are equally in evidence; each of us has lost his eyes, and each is snub-nosed. Then as to the tomb and the costly marbles, I dare say such a fine erection gives the Halicarnassians something to brag about and show off to strangers: but I don’t see, friend, that you are the better for it, unless it is that you claim to carry more weight than the rest of us, with all that marble on the top of you.
MAUSOLUS Then all is to go for nothing? Mausolus and Diogenes are to rank as equals?
DIOGENES Equals! My dear sir, no; I don’t say that. While Mausolus is groaning over the memories of earth, and the felicity which he supposed to be his, Diogenes will be chuckling. While Mausolus boasts of the tomb raised to him by Artemisia, his wife and sister, Diogenes knows not whether he has a tomb or no—the question never having occurred to him; he knows only that his name is on the tongues of the wise, as one who lived the life of a man; a higher monument than yours, vile Carian slave, and set on firmer foundations.
Νιρεύς ἰδοὺ δή, Μένιππος οὑτοσὶ δικάσει, πότερος εὐμορφότερός ἐστιν. εἰπέ, ὦ Μένιππε, οὐ καλλίων σοι δοκῶ;
Μένιππος τίνες δὲ καὶ ἔστε; πρότερον, οἶμαι, χρὴ γὰρ τοῦτο εἰδέναι.
Νιρεύς Νιρεὺς καὶ Θερσίτης.
Μένιππος πότερος οὖν ὁ Νιρεὺς καὶ πότερος ὁ Θερσιτης; οὐδέπω γὰρ τοῦτο δῆλον.
Θερσίτης ἓν μὲν ἤδη τοῦτο ἔχω, ὅτι ὅμοιός εἰμί σοι καὶ οὐδὲν τηλικοῦτον διαφέρεις ἡλίκον σε Ὅμηρος ἐκεῖνος ὁ τυφλὸς ἐπῄνεσεν ἁπάντων εὐμορφότερον προσειπών, ἀλλʼ ὁ φοξὸς ἐγὼ καὶ ψεδνὸς οὐδὲν χείρων ἐφάνην τῷ δικαστῇ. ὅρα δὲ σύ, ὦ Μένιππε, ὅντινα καὶ εὐμορφότερον ἡγῇ.
Νιρεύς ἐμέ γε τὸν Ἀγλαΐας καὶ Χάροπος, ὃς κάλλιστος ἀνὴρ ὑπὸ Ἴλιον ἦλθον.
Μένιππος ἀλλʼ οὐχὶ καὶ ὑπὸ γῆν, ὡς οἶμαι, κάλλιστος ἦλθες, ἀλλὰ τὰ μὲν ὀστᾶ ὅμοια, τὸ δὲ κρανίον ταύτῃ μόνον ἄρα διακρίνοιτο ἀπὸ τοῦ Θερσίτου κρανίου, ὅτι εὔθρυπτον τὸ σόν· ἀλαπαδνὸν γὰρ αὐτὸ καὶ οὐκ ἀνδρῶδες ἔχεις.
Νιρεύς καὶ μὴν ἐροῦ Ὅμηρον, ὁποῖος ἦν, ὁπότε συνεστράτευον τοῖς Ἀχαιοῖς.
Μένιππος ὀνείρατά μοι λέγεις· ἐγὼ δὲ βλέπω ἃ καὶ νῦν ἔχεις, ἐκεῖνα δὲ οἱ τότε ἴσασιν.
Νιρεύς οὔκουν ἐγὼ ἐνταῦθα εὐμορφότερός εἰμι, ὦ Μένιππε;
Μένιππος οὔτε σὺ οὔτε ἄλλος εὔμορφος· ἰσοτιμία γὰρ ἐν ᾅδου καὶ ὅμοιοι ἅπαντες.
Θερσίτης ἐμοὶ μὲν οὖν καὶ τοῦτο ἱκανόν.
NIREUS Here we are; Menippus shall award the palm of beauty. Menippus, am I not better-looking than he?
MENIPPUS Well, who are you? I must know that first, mustn’t I?
NIREUS Nireus and Thersites.
MENIPPUS Which is which? I cannot tell that yet.
THERSITES One to me; I am like you; you have no such superiority as Homer (blind, by the way) gave you when he called you the handsomest of men; he might peak my head and thin my hair, our judge finds me none the worse. Now, Menippus, make up your mind which is handsomer.
NIREUS I, of course, I, the son of Aglaia and Charopus,
Comeliest of all that came ‘neath Trojan walls.
MENIPPUS But not comeliest of all that come ‘neath the earth, as far as I know. Your bones are much like other people’s; and the only difference between your two skulls is that yours would not take much to stove it in. It is a tender article, something short of masculine.
NIREUS Ask Homer what I was, when I sailed with the Achaeans.
MENIPPUS Dreams, dreams. I am looking at what you are; what you were is ancient history.
NIREUS Am I not handsomer here, Menippus?
MENIPPUS You are not handsome at all, nor any one else either. Hades is a democracy; one man is as good as another here.
THERSITES And a very tolerable arrangement too, if you ask me.
Cite This Text