Κράτης Μοίριχον τὸν πλούσιον ἐγίνωσκες, ὦ Διόγενες, τὸν πάνυ πλούσιον, τὸν ἐκ Κορίνθου, τὸν τὰς πολλὰς ὁλκάδας ἔχοντα, οὗ ἀνεψιὸς Ἀριστέας, πλούσιος καὶ αὐτὸς ὤν; ὃς τὸ Ὁμηρικὸν ἐκεῖνο εἰώθει ἐπιλέγειν, ἤ μʼ ἀνάειρʼ ἢ ἐγὼ σέ.
Διογένης τίνος ἕνεκα, ὦ Κράτης;
Κράτης ἐθεράπευον ἀλλήλους τοῦ κλήρου ἕνεκα ἑκάτερος ἡλικιῶται ὄντες, καὶ τὰς διαθήκας ἐς τὸ φανερὸν ἐτίθεντο, Ἀριστέαν μὲν ὁ Μοίριχος, εἰ προαποθάνοι, δεσπότην ἀφιεὶς τῶν ἑαυτοῦ πάντων, Μοίριχον δὲ ὁ Ἀριστέας, εἰ προαπέλθοι αὐτοῦ. ταῦτα μὲν ἐγέγραπτο, οἱ δʼ ἐθεράπευον ὑπερβαλλόμενοι ἀλλήλους τῇ κολακείᾳ· καὶ οἱ μάντεις, οἵ τε ἀπὸ τῶν ἄστρων τεκμαιρόμενοι τὸ μέλλον οἵ τε ἀπὸ τῶν ὀνειράτων, ὥς γε Χαλδαίων παῖδες, ἀλλὰ καὶ ὁ Πύθιος αὐτὸς ἄρτι μὲν Ἀριστέᾳ παρεῖχε τὸ κράτος, ἄρτι δὲ Μοιρίχῳ, καὶ τὰ τάλαντα ποτὲ μὲν ἐπʼ ἐκεῖνον, νῦν δʼ ἐπὶ τοῦτον ἔρρεπε.
Διογένης τί οὖν πέρας ἐγένετο, ὦ Κράτης; ἀκοῦσαι γὰρ ἄξιον.
Κράτης ἄμφω τεθνᾶσιν ἐπὶ μιᾶς ἡμέρας, οἱ δὲ κλῆροι ἐς Εὐνόμιον καὶ Θρασυκλέα περιῆλθον ἄμφω συγγενεῖς ὄντας οὐδὲ πώποτε προμαντευομένους οὕτω γενέσθαι ταῦτα· διαπλέοντες γὰρ ἀπὸ Σικυῶνος ἐς Κίρραν κατὰ μέσον τὸν πόρον πλαγίῳ περιπεσόντες τῷ Ἰάπυγι ἀνετράπησαν.
Διογένης εὖ ἐποίησαν. ἡμεῖς δὲ ὁπότε ἐν τῷ βίῳ ἦμεν, οὐδὲν τοιοῦτον ἐνενοοῦμεν περὶ ἀλλήλων· οὔτε ἐγώ ποτε ηὐξάμην Ἀντισθένην ἀποθανεῖν, ὡς κληρονομήσαιμι τῆς βακτηρίας αὐτοῦ — εἶχε δὲ πάνυ καρτερὰν ἐκ κοτίνου ποιησάμενος — οὔτε οἶμαι σὺ ὁ Κράτης ἐπεθύμεις κληρονομεῖν ἀποθανόντος ἐμοῦ τὰ κτήματα καὶ τὸν πίθον καὶ τὴν πήραν χοίνικας δύο θέρμων ἔχουσαν.
Κράτης οὐδὲν γάρ μοι τούτων ἔδει, ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ σοί, ὦ Διόγενες· ἃ γὰρ ἐχρῆν, σύ τε Ἀντισθένους ἐκληρονόμησας καὶ ἐγὼ σοῦ, πολλῷ μείζω καὶ σεμνότερα τῆς Περσῶν ἀρχῆς.
Διογένης τίνα ταῦτα φής;
Κράτης σοφίαν, αὐτάρκειαν, ἀλήθειαν, παρρησίαν, ἐλευθερίαν.
Διογένης νὴ Δία, μέμνημαι καὶ τοῦτον διαδεξαμενος τὸν πλοῦτον παρὰ Ἀντισθένους καὶ σοὶ ἔτι πλείω καταλιπών.
Κράτης ἀλλʼ οἱ ἄλλοι ἠμέλουν τῶν τοιούτων κτημάτων καὶ οὐδεὶς ἐθεράπευεν ἡμᾶς κληρονομήσειν προσδοκῶν, ἐς δὲ τὸ χρυσίον πάντες ἔβλεπον.
Διογένης εἰκότως· οὐ γὰρ εἶχον ἔνθα ἂν δέξαιντο τὰ τοιαῦτα παρʼ ἡμῶν διερρυηκότες ὑπὸ τρυφῆς, καθάπερ τὰ σαπρὰ τῶν βαλαντίων· ὥστε εἴ ποτε καὶ ἐμβάλοι τις ἐς αὐτοὺς ἢ σοφίαν ἢ παρρησίαν ἢ ἀλήθεια, ἐξέπιπτεν εὐθὺς καὶ διέρρει, τοῦ πυθμένος στέγειν οὐ δυναμένου, οἷόν τι πάσχουσιν αἱ τοῦ Δαναοῦ αὗται παρθένοι εἰς τὸν τετρημένον πίθον ἐπαντλοῦσαι· τὸ δὲ χρυσίον ὀδοῦσι καὶ ὄνυξι καὶ πάσῃ μηχανῇ ἐφύλαττον.
Κράτης οὐκοῦν ἡμεῖς μὲν ἕξομεν κἀνταῦθα τὸν πλοῦτον, οἱ δὲ ὀβολὸν ἥξουσι κομίζοντες καὶ τοῦτον ἄχρι τοῦ πορθμέως.
CRATES Did you know Moerichus of Corinth, Diogenes? A shipowner, rolling in money, with a cousin called Aristeas, nearly as rich. He had a Homeric quotation:—Wilt thou heave me? shall I heave thee?
DIOGENES What was the point of it?
CRATES Why, the cousins were of equal age, expected to succeed to each other’s wealth, and behaved accordingly. They published their wills, each naming the other sole heir in case of his own prior decease. So it stood in black and white, and they vied with each other in showing that deference which the relation demands. All the prophets, astrologers, and Chaldean dream-interpreters alike, and Apollo himself for that matter, held different views at different times about the winner; the thousands seemed to incline now to Aristeas’s side, now to Moerichus’s.
DIOGENES And how did it end? I am quite curious.
CRATES They both died on the same day, and the properties passed to Eunomius and Thrasycles, two relations who had never had a presentiment of it. They had been crossing from Sicyon to Cirrha, when they were taken aback by a squall from the north-west, and capsized in mid-channel.
DIOGENES Cleverly done. Now, when we were alive, we never had such designs on one another. I never prayed for Antisthenes’s death, with a view to inheriting his staff—though it was an extremely serviceable one, which he had cut himself from a wild olive; and I do not credit you, Crates, with ever having had an eye to my succession; it included the tub, and a wallet with two pints of lupines in it.
CRATES Why, no; these things were superfluities to me—and to yourself, indeed. The real necessities you inherited from Antisthenes, and I from you; and in those necessities was more grandeur and majesty than in the Persian Empire.
DIOGENES You allude to—
CRATES Wisdom, independence, truth, frankness, freedom.
DIOGENES To be sure; now I think of it, I did inherit all this from Antisthenes, and left it to you with some addition.
CRATES Others, however, were not interested in such property; no one paid us the attentions of an expectant heir; they all had their eyes on gold, instead.
DIOGENES Of course; they had no receptacle for such things as we could give; luxury had made them so leaky—as full of holes as a worn-out purse. Put wisdom, frankness, or truth into them, and it would have dropped out; the bottom of the bag would have let them through, like the perforated cask into which those poor Danaids are always pouring. Gold, on the other hand, they could grip with tooth or nail or somehow.
CRATES Result: our wealth will still be ours down here; while they will arrive with no more than one penny, and even that must be left with the ferryman.
Διογένης Ἀντίσθενες καὶ Κράτης, σχολὴν ἄγομεν· ὥστε τί οὐκ ἄπιμεν εὐθὺ τῆς καθόδου περιπατήσαντες, ὀψόμενοι τοὺς κατιόντας, οἷοί τέ εἰσι καὶ τί ἕκαστος αὐτῶν ποιεῖ;
Ἀντισθένης ἀπίωμεν, ὦ Διόγενες· καὶ γὰρ ἂν ἡδὺ τὸ θέαμα γένοιτο, τοὺς μὲν δακρυοντας αὐτῶν ὁρᾶν, τοὺς δὲ καὶ ἱκετεύοντας ἀφεθῆναι, ένίους δὲ μόλις κατιόντας καὶ ἐπὶ τράχηλον ὠθοῦντος τοῦ Ἑρμοῦ ὅμως ἀντιβαίνοντας καὶ ὑπτίους ἀντερείδοντας οὐδὲν δέον.
Κράτης ἔγωγʼ οὖν καὶ διηγήσομαι ὑμῖν ἃ εἶδον ὁπότε κατῄειν κατὰ τὴν ὁδόν.
Διογένης διήγησαι, ὦ Κράτης· ἔοικας γάρ τινα ἑωρακέναι παγγέλοια.
Κράτης καὶ ἄλλοι μὲν πολλοὶ συγκατέβαινον ἡμῖν, ἐν αὐτοῖς δὲ ἐπίσημοι Ἰσμηνόδωρός τε ὁ πλούσιος ὁ ἡμέτερος καὶ Ἀρσάκης ὁ Μηδίας ὕπαρχος καὶ Ὀροίτης ὁ Ἀρμένιος. ὁ μὲν οὖν Ἰσμηνόδωρος — ἐπεφόνευτο γὰρ ὑπὸ τῶν λῃστῶν περὶ τὸν Κιθαιρῶνα ἐς Ἐλευσῖνα οἶμαι βαδίζων — ἔστενέ τε καὶ τὸ τραῦμα ἐν ταῖν χεροῖν εἶχε καὶ τὰ παιδία, ἃ νεογνὰ κατελελοίπει, ἀνεκαλεῖτο καὶ ἑαυτῷ ἐπεμέμφετο τῆς τόλμης, ὃς Κιθαιρῶνα ὑπερβάλλων καὶ τὰ περὶ τὰς Ἐλευθερὰς χωρία πανέρημα ὄντα ὑπὸ τῶν πολέμων διοδεύων δύο μόνους οἰκέτας ἐπηγάγετο, καὶ ταῦτα φιάλας πέντε χρυσᾶς καὶ κυμβία τέτταρα μεθʼ ἑαυτοῦ ἔχων.
Κράτης ὁ δὲ Ἀρσάκης — γηραιὸς γὰρ ἤδη καὶ νὴ Δίʼ οὐκ ἄσεμνος τὴν ὄψιν — ἐς τὸ βαρβαρικὸν ἤχθετο καὶ ἠγανάκτει πεζὸς βαδίζων καὶ ἠξίου τὸν ἵππον αὐτῷ προσαχθῆναι· καὶ γὰρ ὁ ἵππος αὐτῷ συνετεθνήκει, μιᾷ πληγῇ ἀμφότεροι διαπαρέντες ὑπὸ Θρᾳκός τινος πελταστοῦ ἐν τῇ ἐπὶ τῷ Ἀράξῃ πρὸς τὸν Καππαδόκην συμπλοκῇ. ὁ μὲν γὰρ Ἀρσάκης ἐπήλαυνεν, ὡς διηγεῖτο, πολὺ τῶν ἄλλων προϋπεξορμήσας, ὑποστὰς δὲ ὁ Θρᾷξ τῇ πέλτῃ μὲν ὑποδὺς ἀποσείεται τοῦ Ἀρσάκου τὸν κοντόν, ὑποθεὶς δὲ τὴν σάρισαν αὐτόν τε διαπείρει καὶ τὸν ἵππον.
Ἀντισθένης πῶς οἷόν τε, ὦ Κράτης, μιᾷ πληγῇ τοῦτο γενέσθαι;
Κράτης Ῥᾷστʼ, ὦ Ἀντίσθενες· ὁ μὲν γὰρ ἐπήλαυνεν εἰκοσάπηχύν τινα προβεβλημένος κοντόν, ὁ Θρᾷξ δὲ ἐπειδὴ τῇ πέλτῃ ἀπεκρούσατο τὴν προσβολὴν καὶ παρῆλθεν αὐτὸν ἡ ἀκωκή, ἐς τὸ γόνυ ὀκλάσας δέχεται τῇ σαρίσῃ τὴν ἐπέλασιν καὶ τιτρώσκει τὸν ἵππον ὑπὸ τὸ στέρνον ὑπὸ θυμοῦ καὶ σφοδρότητος διαπείραντα ἑαυτόν· διελαύνεται δὲ καὶ ὁ Ἀρσάκης ἐκ τοῦ βουβῶνος διαμπὰξ ἄχρι ὑπὸ τὴν πυγήν. ὁρᾷς οἷόν τι ἐγένετο, οὐ τοῦ ἀνδρός, ἀλλὰ τοῦ ἵππου μᾶλλον τὸ ἔργον. ἠγανάκτει δʼ ὅμως ὁμότιμος ὢν τῶν ἄλλων καὶ ἠξίου ἱππεὺς κατιέναι.
Κράτης ὁ δέ γε Ὀροίτης καὶ πάνυ ἁπαλὸς ἦν τὼ πόδε καὶ οὐδʼ ἑστάναι χαμαί, οὐχ ὅπως βαδίζειν ἐδύνατο· πάσχουσι δʼ αὐτὸ ἀτεχνῶς Μῆδοι πάντες, ἐπὰν ἀποβῶσι τῶν ἵππων, ὥσπερ ἐπὶ τῶν ἀκανθῶν βαίνοντες ἀκροποδητὶ μόλις βαδίζουσιν. ὥστε ἐπεὶ καταβαλὼν ἑαυτὸν ἔκειτο καὶ οὐδεμιᾷ μηχανῇ ἀνίστασθαι ἤθελεν, ὁ βέλτιστος Ἑρμῆς ἀράμενος αὐτὸν ἐκόμισεν ἄχρι πρὸς τὸ πορθμεῖον, ἐγὼ δὲ ἐγέλων.
Ἀντισθένης κἀγὼ δὲ ὁπότε κατῄειν, οὐδʼ ἀνέμιξα ἐμαυτὸν τοῖς ἄλλοις, ἀλλʼ ἀφεὶς οἰμώζοντας αὐτοὺς προσδραμὼν ἐπὶ τὸ πορθμεῖον προκατέλαβον χώραν, ὡς ἂν ἐπιτηδείως πλεύσαιμι· καὶ παρὰ τὸν πλοῦν οἱ μὲν ἐδάκρυόν τε καὶ ἐναυτίων, ἐγὼ δὲ μάλα ἐτερπόμην ἐπʼ αὐτοῖς.
DIOGENES Now, friends, we have plenty of time; what say you to a stroll? we might go to the entrance and have a look at the new-comers—what they are and how they behave.
ANTISTHENES The very thing. It will be an amusing sight—some weeping, some imploring to be let go, some resisting; when Hermes collars them, they will stick their heels in and throw their weight back; and all to no purpose.
CRATES Very well; and meanwhile, let me give you my experiences on the way down.
DIOGENES Yes, go on, Crates; I dare say you saw some entertaining sights.
CRATES We were a large party, of which the most distinguished were Ismenodorus, a rich townsman of ours, Arsaces, ruler of Media, and Oroetes the Armenian. Ismenodorus had been murdered by robbers going to Eleusis over Cithaeron, I believe. He was moaning, nursing his wound, apostrophizing the young children he had left, and cursing his foolhardiness. He knew Cithaeron and the Eleutherae district were all devastated by the wars, and yet he must take only two servants with him—with five bowls and four cups of solid gold in his baggage, too. Arsaces was an old man of rather imposing aspect; he expressed his feelings in true barbaric fashion, was exceedingly angry at being expected to walk, and kept calling for his horse. In point of fact it had died with him, it and he having been simultaneously transfixed by a Thracian pikeman in the fight with the Cappadocians on the Araxes. Arsaces described to us how he had charged far in advance of his men, and the Thracian, standing his ground and sheltering himself with his buckler, warded off the lance, and then, planting his pike, transfixed man and horse together.
ANTISTHENES How could it possibly be done simultaneously?
CRATES Oh, quite simple. The Median was charging with his thirty-foot lance in front of him; the Thracian knocked it aside with his buckler; the point glanced by; then he knelt, received the charge on his pike, pierced the horse’s chest—the spirited beast impaling itself by its own impetus—, and finally ran Arsaces through groin and buttock. You see what happened; it was the horse’s doing rather than the man’s. However, Arsaces did not at all appreciate equality, and wanted to come down on horseback. As for Oroetes, he was so tender-footed that he could not stand, far less walk. That is the way with all the Medes—once they are off their horses, they go delicately on tiptoe as if they were treading on thorns. He threw himself down, and there he lay; nothing would induce him to get up; so the excellent Hermes had to pick him up and carry him to the ferry; how I laughed!
ANTISTHENES When I came down, I did not keep with the crowd; I left them to their blubberings, ran on to the ferry, and secured a comfortable seat for the passage. Then as we crossed, they were divided between tears and sea-sickness, and gave me a merry time of it.
Διογένης σὺ μέν, ὦ Κράτης καὶ Ἀντίσθενες, τοιούτων ἐτύχετε τῶν ξυνοδοιπόρων, ἐμοὶ δὲ Βλεψίας τε ὁ δανειστικὸς ὁ ἐκ Πίσης καὶ Λάμπις ὁ Ἀκαρνὰν ξεναγὸς ὢν καὶ Δᾶμις ὁ πλούσιος ὁ ἐκ Κορίνθου συγκατῄεσαν, ὁ μὲν Δᾶμις ὑπὸ τοῦ παιδὸς ἐκ φαρμάκων ἀποθανών, ὁ δὲ Λάμπις διʼ ἔρωτα Μυρτίου τῆς ἑταίρας ἀποσφάξας ἑαυτόν, ὁ δὲ Βλεψίας λιμῷ ὁ ἄθλιος ἐλέγετο ἀπεσκληκέναι καὶ ἐδήλου δέ γε ὠχρὸς ἐς ὑπερβολὴν καὶ λεπτος ἐς τὸ ἀκριβέστατον φαινόμενος. ἐγὼ δὲ καίπερ εἰδὼς ἀνέκρινον, ὃν τρόπον ἀποθάνοιεν. εἶτα τῷ μὲν Δάμιδι αἰτιωμένῳ τὸν υἱόν, Οὐκ ἄδικα μέντοι ἔπαθες, ἔφην, ὑπʼ αὐτοῦ, εἰ τάλαντα ἔχων ὁμοῦ χίλια καὶ τρυφῶν αὐτὸς ἐνενηκοντούτης ὢν ὀκτωκαιδεκαέτει νεανίσκῳ τέτταρας ὀβολοὺς παρεῖχες. σὺ δέ, ὦ Ἀκαρνάν, — ἔστενε γὰρ κἀκεῖνος καὶ κατηρᾶτο τῇ Μυρτίῳ — τί αἰτιᾷ τὸν Ἔρωτα, σεαυτὸν δέον, ὃς τοὺς μὲν πολεμίους οὐδεπώποτε ἔτρεσας, ἀλλὰ φιλοκινδύνως ἠγωνίζου πρὸ τῶν ἄλλων, ὑπὸ δὲ τοῦ τυχόντος παιδισκαρίου καὶ δακρύων ἐπιπλάστων καὶ στεναγμῶν ἑάλως ὁ γενναῖος. ὁ μὲν γὰρ Βλεψίας αὐτὸς ἑαυτοῦ κατηγόρει φθάσας πολλὴν τὴν ἄνοιαν, ὡς τὰ χρήματα ἐφύλαττε τοῖς οὐδὲν προσήκουσι κληρονόμοις, ἐς ἀεὶ βιώσεσθαι ὁ μάταιος νομίζων. πλὴν ἔμοιγε οὐ τὴν τυχοῦσαν τερπωλὴν παρέσχον τότε στένοντες.
Διογένης ἀλλʼ ήδη μὲν ἐπὶ τῷ στομίῳ ἐσμέν, ἀποβλέπειν δὲ χρὴ καὶ ἀποσκοπεῖν πόρρωθεν τοὺς ἀφικνουμένους. βαβαῖ, πολλοί γε καὶ ποικίλοι καὶ πάντες δακρύοντες πλὴν τῶν νεογνῶν τούτων καὶ νηπίων. ἀλλὰ καὶ οἱ πάνυ γέροντες ὀδύρονται. τί τοῦτο; ἆρα τὸ φίλτρον αὐτοὺς ἔχει τοῦ βίου;
Διογένης τοῦτον οὖν τὸν ὑπέργηρων ἐρέσθαι βούλομαι. τί δακρύεις τηλικοῦτος ἀποθανών; τί ἀγανακτεῖς, ὦ βέλτιστε, καὶ ταῦτα γέρων ἀφιγμένος; ἦ που βασιλεύς τις ἦσθα;
πτωχός οὐδαμῶς.
Διογένης ἀλλὰ σατράπης;
πτωχός οὐδὲ τοῦτο.
Διογένης ἆρα οὖν ἐπλούτεις, εἶτα ἀνιᾷ σε τὸ πολλὴν τρυφὴν ἀπολιπόντα τεθνάναι;
πτωχός οὐδὲν τοιοῦτον, ἀλλʼ ἔτη μὲν ἐγεγόνειν ἀμφὶ τὰ ἐνενήκοντα, βίον δὲ ἄπορον ἀπὸ καλάμου καὶ ὁρμιᾶς εἶχον ἐς ὑπερβολὴν πτωχὸς ὢν ἄτεκνός τε καὶ προσέτι χωλὸς καὶ ἀμυδρὸν βλέπων.
Διογένης εἶτα τοιοῦτος ὢν ζῆν ἤθελες;
πτωχός ναί· ἡδὺ γὰρ ἦν τὸ φῶς καὶ τὸ τεθνάναι δεινὸν καὶ φευκτέον.
Διογένης παραπαίεις, ὦ γέρον, καὶ μειρακιεύῃ πρὸς τὸ χρεών, καὶ ταῦτα ηλικιώτης ὢν τοῦ πορθμέως. τί οὖν ἄν τις ἔτι λέγοι περὶ τῶν νέων, ὁπότε οἱ τηλικοῦτοι φιλόζωοί εἰσιν, οὓς ἐχρῆν διώκειν τὸν θάνατον ὡς τῶν ἐν τῷ γήρᾳ κακῶν φάρμακον. ἀλλʼ ἀπίωμεν ἤδη, μὴ καί τις ἡμᾶς ὑπίδηται ὡς ἀπόδρασιν βουλεύοντας, ὁρῶν περὶ τὸ στόμιον εἰλουμένους.
DIOGENES You two have described your fellow passengers; now for mine. There came down with me Blepsias, the Pisatan usurer, Lampis, an Acarnanian freelance, and the Corinthian millionaire Damis. The last had been poisoned by his son, Lampis had cut his throat for love of the courtesan Myrtium, and the wretched Blepsias is supposed to have died of starvation; his awful pallor and extreme emaciation looked like it. I inquired into the manner of their deaths, though I knew very well. When Damis exclaimed upon his son, ‘You only have your deserts,’ I remarked,—‘an old man of ninety living in luxury yourself with your million of money, and fobbing off your eighteen-year son with a few pence! As for you, sir Acarnanian’—he was groaning and cursing Myrtium—, ‘why put the blame on Love? it belongs to yourself; you were never afraid of an enemy—took all sorts of risks in other people’s service—and then let yourself be caught, my hero, by the artificial tears and sighs of the first wench you came across.’ Blepsias uttered his own condemnation, without giving me time to do it for him: he had hoarded his money for heirs who were nothing to him, and been fool enough to reckon on immortality. I assure you it was no common satisfaction I derived from their whinings.
But here we are at the gate; we must keep our eyes open, and get the earliest view. Lord, lord, what a mixed crowd! and all in tears except these babes and sucklings. Why, the hoary seniors are all lamentation too; strange! has madam Life given them a love-potion? I must interrogate this most reverend senior of them all.—Sir, why weep, seeing that you have died full of years? has your excellency any complaint to make, after so long a term? Ah, but you were doubtless a king.
PAUPER Not so.
DIOGENES A provincial governor, then?
PAUPER No, nor that.
DIOGENES I see; you were wealthy, and do not like leaving your boundless luxury to die.
PAUPER You are quite mistaken; I was near ninety, made a miserable livelihood out of my line and rod, was excessively poor, childless, a cripple, and had nearly lost my sight.
DIOGENES And you still wished to live?
PAUPER Ay, sweet is the light, and dread is death; would that one might escape it!
DIOGENES You are beside yourself, old man; you are like a child kicking at the pricks, you contemporary of the ferryman. Well, we need wonder no more at youth, when age is still in love with life; one would have thought it should court death as the cure for its proper ills.—And now let us go our way, before our loitering here brings suspicion on us: they may think we are planning an escape.
Ἀγαμέμνων εἰ σὺ μανείς, ὠ Αἶαν, σαυτὸν ἐφόνευσας, ἐμέλλησας δὲ καὶ ἡμᾶς ἅπαντας. τί αἰτιᾷ τὸν Ὀδυσσέα καὶ πρῴην οὔτε προσέβλεψας αὐτόν, ὁπότε ἧκε μαντευσόμενος, οὔτε προσειπεῖν ἠξίωσας ἄνδρα συστρατιώτην καὶ ἑταῖρον, ἀλλʼ ὑπεροπτικῶς μεγάλα βαίνων παρῆλθες;
Αἶας εἰκότως, ὦ Ἀγάμεμνον· αὐτὸς γάρ μοι τῆς μανίας αἴτιος κατέστη μόνος ἀντεξετασθεὶς ἐπὶ τοῖς ὅπλοις.
Ἀγαμέμνων ἠξίωσας δὲ ἀνανταγώνιστος εἶναι καὶ ἀκονιτὶ κρατεῖν ἁπάντων;
Αἶας ναί, τά γε τοιαῦτα· οἰκεία γάρ μοι ἦν ἡ πανοπλία τοῦ ἀνεψιοῦ γε οὖσα. καὶ ὑμεῖς οἱ ἄλλοι πολὺ ἀμείνους ὄντες ἀπείπασθε τὸν ἀγῶνα καὶ παρεχωρήσατε μοι, ὁ δὲ Λαέρτου, ὃν ἐγὼ πολλάκις ἔσωσα κινδυνεύοντα κατακεκόφθαι ὑπὸ τῶν Φρυγῶν, ἀμείνων ἠξίου εἶναι καὶ ἐπιτηδειότερος ἔχειν τὰ ὅπλα.
Ἀγαμέμνων αἰτιῶ τοιγαροῦν, ὦ γενναῖε, τὴν Θέτιν, ἣ δέον σοὶ τὴν κληρονομίαν παραδοῦναι τῶν ὅπλων συγγενεῖ γε ὄντι, φέρουσα ἐς τὸ κοινὸν κατέθετο αὐτά.
Αἶας οὔκ, ἀλλὰ τὸν Ὀδυσσέα, ὃς ἀντεποιήθη μόνος.
Ἀγαμέμνων συγγνώμη, ὦ Αἶαν, εἰ ἄνθρωπος ὢν ὠρέχθη δόξης ἡδίστου πράγματος, ὑπὲρ οὗ καὶ ἡμῶν ἕκαστος κινδύνους ὑπέμενεν, ἐπεὶ καὶ ἐκράτησέ σου καὶ ταῦτα ἐπὶ Τρωσὶ δικασταῖς.
Αἶας οἶδα ἐγώ, ἥτις μου κατεδίκασεν· ἀλλʼ οὐ θέμις λέγειν τι περὶ τῶν θεῶν. τὸν δʼ οὖν Ὀδυσσέα μὴ οὐχὶ μισεῖν οὐκ ἂν δυναίμην, ὦ Ἀγάμεμνον, οὐδʼ εἰ αὐτή μοι ἡ Ἀθηνᾶ τοῦτʼ ἐπιτάττοι.
AGAMEMNON If you went mad and wrought your own destruction, Ajax, in default of that you designed for us all, why put the blame on Odysseus? Why would you not vouchsafe him a look or a word, when he came to consult Tiresias that day? you stalked past your old comrade in arms as if he was beneath your notice.
AJAX Had I not good reason? My madness lies at the door of my solitary rival for the arms.
AGAMEMNON Did you expect to be unopposed, and carry it over us all without a contest?
AJAX Surely, in such a matter. The armour was mine by natural right, seeing I was Achilles’s cousin. The rest of you, his undoubted superiors, refused to compete, recognizing my claim. It was the son of Laertes, he that I had rescued scores of times when he would have been cut to pieces by the Phrygians, who set up for a better man and a stronger claimant than I.
AGAMEMNON Blame Thetis, then, my good sir; it was she who, instead of delivering the inheritance to the next of kin, brought the arms and left the ownership an open question.
AJAX No, no; the guilt was in claiming them—alone, I mean.
AGAMEMNON Surely, Ajax, a mere man may be forgiven the sin of coveting honour—that sweetest bait for which each one of us adventured; nay, and he outdid you there, if a Trojan verdict counts.
AJAX Who inspired that verdict? I know, but about the Gods we may not speak. Let that pass; but cease to hate Odysseus? ‘tis not in my power, Agamemnon, though Athene’s self should require it of me.
Μίνως ὁ μὲν λῃστὴς οὑτοσὶ Σώστρατος ἐς τὸν Πυριφλεγέθοντα ἐμβεβλήσθω, ὁ δὲ ἱερόσυλος ὑπὸ τῆς Χιμαίρας διασπασθήτω, ὁ δὲ τύραννος, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, παρὰ τὸν Τιτυὸν ἀποταθεὶς ὑπὸ τῶν γυπῶν καὶ αὐτὸς κειρέσθω τὸ ἧπαρ, ὑμεῖς δὲ οἱ ἀγαθοὶ ἄπιτε κατα τάχος ἐς τὸ Ἠλύσιον πεδίον καὶ τὰς μακάρων νήσους κατοικεῖτε, ἀνθʼ ὧν δίκαια ἐποιεῖτε παρὰ τὸν βίον.
Σώστρατος ἄκουσον, ὦ Μίνως, εἴ σοι δίκαια δόξω λέγειν.
Μίνως νῦν ἀκούσω αὖθις; οὐ γὰρ ἐξελήλεγξαι, ὦ Σώστρατε, πονηρὸς ὢν καὶ τοσούτους ἀπεκτονώς;
Σώστρατος Ἐλήλεγμαι μέν, ἀλλʼ ὅρα, εἰ καὶ δικαίως κολασθήσομαι.
Μίνως καὶ πάνυ, εἴ γε ἀποτίνειν τὴν ἀξίαν δίκαιον.
Σώστρατος ὅμως ἀπόκριναί μοι, ὦ Μίνως· βραχὺ γάρ τι ἐρήσομαί σε.
Μίνως λέγε, μὴ μακρὰ μόνον, ὡς καὶ τοὺς ἄλλους διακρίνωμεν ἤδη.
Σώστρατος ὁπόσα ἔπραττον ἐν τῷ βίῳ, πότερα ἑκὼν ἔπραττον ἢ ἐπεκέκλωστό μοι ὑπὸ τῆς Μοίρας;
Μίνως ὑπὸ τῆς Μοίρας δηλαδή.
Σώστρατος οὐκοῦν καὶ οἱ χρηστοὶ ἅπαντες καὶ οἱ πονηροὶ δοκοῦντες ἡμεῖς ἐκείνῃ ὑπηρετοῦντες ταῦτα ἐδρῶμεν;
Μίνως ναί, τῇ Κλωθοῖ, ἣ ἑκάστῳ ἐπέταξε γεννηθέντι τὰ πρακτέα.
Σώστρατος εἰ τοίνυν ἀναγκασθείς τις ὑπʼ ἄλλου φονεύσειέ τινα οὐ δυνάμενος ἀντιλέγειν ἐκείνῳ βιαζομένῳ, οἷον δήμιος ἢ δορυφόρος, ὁ μὲν δικαστῇ πεισθείς, ὁ δὲ τυράννῳ, τίνα αἰτιάσῃ τοῦ φονου;
Μίνως δῆλον ὡς τὸν δικαστὴν ἢ τὸν τύραννον, ἐπεὶ οὐδὲ τὸ ξίφος αὐτό· ὑπηρετεῖ γὰρ ὄργανον ὂν τοῦτο πρὸς τὸν θυμὸν τῷ πρώτῳ παρασχόντι τὴν αἰτίαν.
Σώστρατος εὖ γε, ὦ Μίνως, ὅτι καὶ ἐπιδαψιλεύει τῷ παραδείγματι. ἢν δέ τις ἀποστείλαντος τοῦ δεσπότου ἥκῃ αὐτὸς χρυσὸν ἢ ἄργυρον κομίζων, τίνι τὴν χάριν ἰστέον ἢ τίνα εὐεργέτην ἀναγραπτέον;
Μίνως τὸν πέμψαντα, ὦ Σώστρατε· διάκονος γὰρ ὁ κομίσας ἦν.
Σώστρατος οὐκοῦν ὁρᾷς ὅπως ἄδικα ποιεῖς κολάζων ἡμᾶς ὑπηρέτας γενομένους ὧν ἡ Κλωθὼ προσέταττε, καὶ τούτους τιμῶν τοὺς διακονησαμένους ἀλλοτρίοις ἀγαθοῖς; οὐ γὰρ δὴ ἐκεῖνό γε εἰπεῖν ἔχοι τις ἄν, ὡς τὸ ἀντιλέγειν δυνατὸν ἦν τοῖς μετὰ πάσης ἀνάγκης προστεταγμένοις.
Μίνως ὦ Σώστρατε, πολλὰ ἴδοις ἂν καὶ ἄλλα οὐ κατὰ λόγον γιγνόμενα, εἰ ἀκριβῶς ἐξετάζοις. πλὴν ἀλλὰ σὺ τοῦτο ἀπολαύσεις τῆς ἐρωτήσεως, διότι οὐ λῃστὴς μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ σοφιστής τις εἶναι δοκεῖς. ἀπόλυσον αὐτόν, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, καὶ μηκέτι κολαζέσθω. ὅρα δὲ μὴ καὶ τοὺς ἄλλους νεκροὺς τὰ ὅμοια ἐρωτᾶν διδάξῃς.
MINOS Sostratus, the pirate here, can be dropped into Pyriphlegethon, Hermes; the temple-robber shall be clawed by the Chimera; and lay out the tyrant alongside of Tityus, there to have his liver torn by the vultures. And you honest fellows can make the best of your way to Elysium and the Isles of the Blest; this it is to lead righteous lives.
SOSTRATUS A word with you, Minos. See if there is not some justice in my plea.
MINOS What, more pleadings? Have you not been convicted of villany and murder without end?
SOSTRATUS I have. Yet consider whether my sentence is just.
MINOS Is it just that you should have your deserts? If so, the sentence is just.
SOSTRATUS Well, answer my questions; I will not detain you long.
MINOS Say on, but be brief; I have other cases waiting for me.
SOSTRATUS The deeds of my life—were they in my own choice, or were they decreed by Fate?
MINOS Decreed, of course.
SOSTRATUS Then all of us, whether we passed for honest men or rogues, were the instruments of Fate in all that we did?
MINOS Certainly; Clotho prescribes the conduct of every man at his birth.
SOSTRATUS Now suppose a man commits a murder under compulsion of a power which he cannot resist, an executioner, for instance, at the bidding of a judge, or a bodyguard at that of a tyrant. Who is the murderer, according to you?
MINOS The judge, of course, or the tyrant. As well ask whether the sword is guilty, which is but the tool of his anger who is prime mover in the affair.
SOSTRATUS I am indebted to you for a further illustration of my argument. Again: a slave, sent by his master, brings me gold or silver; to whom am I to be grateful? who goes down on my tablets as a benefactor?
MINOS The sender; the bringer is but his minister.
SOSTRATUS Observe then your injustice! You punish us who are but the slaves of Clotho’s bidding, and reward these, who do but minister to another’s beneficence. For it will never be said that it was in our power to gainsay the irresistible ordinances of Fate?
MINOS Ah, Sostratus; look closely enough, and you will find plenty of inconsistencies besides these. However, I see you are no common pirate, but a philosopher in your way; so much you have gained by your questions. Let him go, Hermes; he shall not be punished after that. But mind, Sostratus, you must not put it into other people’s heads to ask questions of this kind.
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