MYRRHINA O yes, better so. And here, good chance, is Lampito approaching.
LYSISTRATA O welcome, welcome, Lampito, my love. O the sweet girl! how hale and bright she looks! Here’s nerve! here’s muscle! here’s an arm could fairly Throttle a bull!
LAMPITO Weel, by the Twa, I think sae. An’ I can loup an’ fling an’ kick my hurdies.
LYSISTRATA See here’s a neck and breast; how firm and lusty!
LAMPITO Wow, but ye pradd me like a fatted calf.
LYSISTRATA And who’s this other damsel? whence comes she?
LAMPITO Ane deputation frae Boeoty, comin’ To sit amang you.
LYSISTRATA Ah, from fair Boeotia, The land of plains!
CALONICE A very lovely land, Well cropped, and trimmed, and spruce with penny royal.
LYSISTRATA And who’s the next?
LAMPITO A bonnie burdie, she, She’s a Corinthian lassie.
LYSISTRATA Ay, by Zeus, And so she is. A bonnie lass, indeed.
LAMPITO But wha ha’ ca’ed thegither a’ thae thrangs O’ wenches?
LYSISTRATA I did.
LAMPITO Did ye noo? then tell us What ’tis a’ for.
LYSISTRATA O yes, my dear, I will.
MYRRHINA Ay, surely: tell us all this urgent business.
LYSISTRATA O yes, I’ll tell you now; but first I’d ask you One simple question.
MYRRHINA Ask it, dear, and welcome.
LYSISTRATA Do ye not miss the fathers of your babes, Always on service? well I wot ye all Have got a husband absent at the wars.
CALONICE Ay, mine, worse luck, has been five months away In Thracian quarters, watching Eucrates.
MYRRHINA And mine’s been stationed seven whole months at Pylus.
LAMPITO An’ my gude mon nae suner comes frae war Than he straps targe an’ gangs awa’ again.
LYSISTRATA No husbands now, no sparks, no anything. For ever since Miletus played us false, We’ve had no joy, no solace, none at all.
LYSISTRATA So will you, will you, if I find a way, Help me to end the war?
MYRRHINA Ay, that we will. I will, be sure, though I’d to fling me down This mantling shawl, and have a bout of—drinking
CALONICE And I would cleave my very self in twain Like a cleft turbot, and give half for Peace.
LAMPITO An’ I, to glint at Peace again, wad speel Up to the tap rig o’ Taygety.
LYSISTRATA I’ll tell you now: ’tis meet ye all should know. O ladies! sisters! if we really mean To make the men make Peace, there’s but one way We must abstain—
MYRRHINA Well! tell us.
LYSISTRATA Will ye do it?
MYRRHINA Do it? ay, surely, though it cost our lives.
LYSISTRATA We must abstain—each—from the joys of Love. How! what! why turn away? where are ye going? What makes you pout your lips, and shake your heads? What brings this falling tear, that changing colour? Will ye, or will ye not? What mean ye, eh?
MYRRHINA I’ll never do it. Let the war go on.
CALONICE Zeus! nor I either. Let the war go on.
LYSISTRATA You, too, Miss Turbot? you who said just now You’d cleave, for Peace, your very self in twain?
CALONICE Ask anything but this. Why, if needs be, I’d walk through fire: only, not give up Love. There’s nothing like it, dear Lysistrata. And what say you?
MYRRHINA I’d liefer walk through fire.
LYSISTRATA O women! women! O our frail, frail sex! No wonder tragedies are made from us. Always the same: nothing but loves and cradles. O friend! O Lampito! if you and I Are of one mind, we yet may pull things through; Won’t you vote with me, dear?
LAMPITO Haith, by the Twa, ’Tis sair to bide your lane, withouten men. Still it maun be: we maun hae Peace, at a’ risks.
LYSISTRATA O dearest friend; my one true friend of all.
CALONICE Well, but suppose we do the things you say, Pray Heaven avert it, but put case we do, Shall we be nearer Peace?
LYSISTRATA Much, much, much nearer. For if we women will but sit at home, Powdered and trimmed, clad in our daintiest lawn, Employing all our charms, and all our arts To win men’s love, and when we’ve won it, then Repel them, firmly, till they end the war, We’ll soon get Peace again, be sure of that.
LAMPITO Sae Menelaus, when he glowered, I ween, At Helen’s breastie, coost his glaive awa’.
CALONICE Eh, but suppose they leave us altogether?
LYSISTRATA O, faddle! then we’ll find some substitute.
CALONICE If they try force?
LYSISTRATA They’ll soon get tired of that If we keep firm. Scant joy a husband gets Who finds himself at discord with his wife.
CALONICE Well, then, if so you wish it, so we’ll have it.
LAMPITO An’ our gude folk we’se easily persuade To keep the Peace wi’ never a thocht o’ guile: But your Athanian hairumscairum callants Wha sall persuade them no to play the fule?
LYSISTRATA O we’ll persuade our people, never fear.
LAMPITO Not while ye’ve gat thae gallies rigged sae trim, An’ a’ that rowth o’ siller nigh the Goddess.
LYSISTRATA O but, my dear, we’ve taken thought for that: This very morn we seize the Acropolis. Now, whilst we’re planning and conspiring here, The elder women have the task assigned them, Under pretence of sacrifice, to seize it.
LAMPITO A’ will gae finely, an’ ye talk like that.
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