CHORUS OF WOMEN Illustrious leader of this bold emprize, What brings thee forth, with trouble in thine eyes?
LYSISTRATA Vile women’s works: the feminine hearts they show: These make me pace, dejected, to and fro.
CHORUS OF WOMEN O what! and O what!
LYSISTRATA ’Tis true! ’tis true!
CHORUS OF WOMEN O to your friends, great queen, the tale unfold.
LYSISTRATA ’Tis sad to tell, and sore to leave untold.
CHORUS OF WOMEN What, what has happened? tell us, tell us quick.
LYSISTRATA Aye, in one word. The girls are—husband-sick.
CHORUS OF WOMEN O Zeus! Zeus! O!
LYSISTRATA Why call on Zeus? the fact is surely so. I can no longer keep the minxes in. They slip out everywhere. One I discovered Down by Pan’s grotto, burrowing through the loophole: Another, wriggling down by crane and pulley: A third deserts outright: a fourth I dragged
LYSISTRATA Back by the hair, yestreen, just as she started On sparrow’s back, straight for Orsilochus’s: They make all sorts of shifts to get away. Ha! here comes one, deserting. Hi there, Hi! Where are you off to?
FIRST WOMAN (hurriedly) I must just run home. I left some fine Milesian wools about, I’m sure the moths are at them.
LYSISTRATA Moths indeed! Get back.
FIRST WOMAN But really I’ll return directly, I only want to spread them on the couch.
LYSISTRATA No spreadings out, no running home to-day.
FIRST WOMAN What! leave my wools to perish?
LYSISTRATA If need be.
SECOND WOMAN O goodness gracious! O that lovely flax I left at home unhackled!
LYSISTRATA Here’s another! She’s stealing off to hackle flax forsooth. Come, come, get back.
SECOND WOMAN O yes, and so I will, I’ll comb it out and come again directly.
LYSISTRATA Nay, nay, no combing: once begin with that And other girls are sure to want the same.
THIRD WOMAN O holy Eileithyia, stay my labour Till I can reach some lawful travail-place.
LYSISTRATA How now!
THIRD WOMAN My pains are come.
LYSISTRATA Why, yesterday You were not pregnant.
THIRD WOMAN But to-day I am Quick, let me pass, Lysistrata, at once To find a midwife.
LYSISTRATA What’s it all about? What’s this hard lump?
THIRD WOMAN That’s a male child.
LYSISTRATA Not it. It’s something made of brass, and hollow too. Come, come, out with it. O you silly woman, What! cuddling up the sacred helmet there And say you’re pregnant?
THIRD WOMAN Well, and so I am.
LYSISTRATA What’s this for then?
THIRD WOMAN Why, if my pains o’ertake me In the Acropolis, I’d creep inside And sit and hatch there as the pigeons do.
LYSISTRATA Nonsense and stuff: the thing’s as plain as can be Stay and keep here the name-day of your—helmet.
FOURTH WOMAN But I can’t sleep a single wink up here, So scared I was to see the holy serpent.
FIFTH WOMAN And I shall die for lack of rest, I know, With this perpetual hooting of the owls.
LYSISTRATA O ladies, ladies, cease these tricks, I pray. Ye want your husbands. And do you suppose They don’t want us? Full wearisome, I know, Their nights without us. O bear up, dear friends, Be firm, be patient, yet one little while, For I’ve an oracle (here ’tis) which says We’re sure to conquer if we hold together.
WOMEN O read us what it says.
LYSISTRATA Then all keep silence.
LYSISTRATA Soon as the swallows are seen collecting and crouching together, Shunning the hoopoes’ flight and keeping aloof from the Love-birds, Cometh a rest from ill, and Zeus the Lord of the Thunder Changeth the upper to under.
WOMAN Preserve us, shall we be the upper?
LYSISTRATA Nay, but if once they wrangle, and flutter away in dissension Out of the Temple of God, then all shall see and acknowledge, Never a bird of the air so perjured and frail as the swallow.
WOMAN Wow, but that’s plain enough! O all ye Gods, Let us not falter in our efforts now. Come along in. O friends, O dearest friends, ’Twere sin and shame to fail the oracle.
CHORUS OF MEN Now to tell a little story Fain, fain I, grow, One I heard when quite an urchin Long, long ago. How that once All to shun the nuptial bed From his home Melanion fled, To the hills and deserts sped, Kept his dog, Wove his snares, Set his nets, Trapped his hares; Home he nevermore would go,
CHORUS OF MEN He detested women so. We are of Melanion’s mind, We detest the womankind.
MAN May I, mother, kiss your cheek?
WOMAN Then you won’t require a leek.
MAN Hoist my leg, and kick you, so?
WOMAN Fie! what stalwart legs you show!
MAN Just such stalwart legs and strong, Just such stalwart legs as these, To the noble chiefs belong, Phormio and Myronides.
CHORUS OF WOMEN Now to tell a little story Fain, fain am I, To your tale about Melanion Take this reply. How that once Savage Timon, all forlorn, Dwelt amongst the prickly thorn Visage-shrouded, Fury-born. Dwelt alone, Far away, Cursing men Day by day; Never saw his home again, Kept aloof from haunts of men Hating men of evil mind, Dear to all the womankind.
WOMAN Shall I give your cheek a blow? No, I thank you, no, no, no!
MAN Hoist my foot and kick you too? Fie! what vulgar feet I view. Vulgar feet! absurd, absurd, Don’t such foolish things repeat; Never were, upon my word, Tinier, tidier little feet.
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