PASIAS What! must a man lose his own property! No: never, never. Better have refused With a bold face, than be so plagued as this. See! to get paid my own just debts, I’m forced To drag you to bear witness, and what’s worse I needs must quarrel with my townsman here. Well, I won’t shame my country, while I live, I’ll go to law, I’ll summon him.
STREPSIADES Hallo!
PASIAS To the next Old-and-New.
STREPSIADES Bear witness, all! He named two days. You’ll summon me; what for?
PASIAS The fifty pounds I lent you when you bought That iron-grey.
STREPSIADES Just listen to the fellow! The whole world knows that I detest all horses.
PASIAS I swear you swore by all the Gods to pay me.
STREPSIADES Well, now I swear I won’t: Pheidippides Has learnt since then the unanswerable Logic.
PASIAS And will you therefore shirk my just demand?
STREPSIADES Of course I will: else why should he have learnt it?
PASIAS And will you dare forswear it by the Gods?
STREPSIADES The Gods indeed! What Gods?
PASIAS Poseidon, Hermes, Zeus.
STREPSIADES By Zeus I would, Though I gave twopence halfpenny for the privilege.
PASIAS O then confound you for a shameless rogue!
STREPSIADES Hallo! this butt should be rubbed down with salt.
PASIAS Zounds! you deride me!
STREPSIADES Why ’twill hold four gallons.
PASIAS You ’scape me not, by Mighty Zeus, and all The Gods!
STREPSIADES I wonderfully like the Gods; An oath by Zeus is sport to knowing ones.
PASIAS Sooner or later you’ll repent of this. Come do you mean to pay your debts or don’t you? Tell me, and I’ll be off.
STREPSIADES Now do have patience; I’ll give you a clear answer in one moment.
PASIAS What do you think he’ll do?
WITNESS I think he’ll pay you.
STREPSIADES Where is that horrid dun? O here: now tell me What you call this.
PASIAS What I call that? a trough.
STREPSIADES Heavens! what a fool: and do you want your money? I’d never pay one penny to a fellow Who calls my troughess, trough. So there’s your answer.
PASIAS Then you won’t pay me?
STREPSIADES No, not if I know it. Come put your best foot forward, and be off: March off, I say, this instant!
PASIAS May I die If I don’t go at once and stake my gage!
STREPSIADES No don’t: the fifty pounds are loss enough: And really on my word I would not wish you To lose this too just for one silly blunder.
AMYNIAS Ah me! Oh! Oh! Oh!
STREPSIADES Hallo! who’s that making that horrible noise? Not one of Carcinus’s snivelling Gods?
AMYNIAS Who cares to know what I am? what imports it? An ill-starred man.
STREPSIADES Then keep it to yourself.
AMYNIAS “O heavy fate!” “O Fortune, thou hast broken My chariot wheels!” “Thou hast undone me, Pallas!”
STREPSIADES How! has Tlepolemus been at you, man?
AMYNIAS Jeer me not, friend, but tell your worthy son To pay me back the money which I lent him: I’m in a bad way and the times are pressing.
STREPSIADES What money do you mean?
AMYNIAS Why what he borrowed.
STREPSIADES You are in a bad way, I really think.
AMYNIAS Driving my four-wheel out I fell, by Zeus.
STREPSIADES You rave as if you’d fall’n times out-of-mind.
AMYNIAS I rave? howso? I only claim my own.
STREPSIADES You can’t be quite right, surely.
AMYNIAS Why, what mean you?
STREPSIADES I shrewdly guess your brain’s received a shake.
AMYNIAS I shrewdly guess that you’ll receive a summons If you don’t pay my money.
STREPSIADES Well then, tell me, Which theory do you side with, that the rain Falls fresh each time, or that the Sun draws back The same old rain, and sends it down again?
AMYNIAS I’m very sure I neither know nor care.
STREPSIADES Not care! good heavens! And do you claim your money, So unenlightened in the Laws of Nature?
AMYNIAS If you’re hard up then, pay me back the Interest At least.
STREPSIADES Int-er-est? what kind of a beast is that?
AMYNIAS What else than day by day and month by month Larger and larger still the silver grows As time sweeps by?
STREPSIADES Finely and nobly said. What then! think you the Sea is larger now Than ’twas last year?
AMYNIAS No surely, ’tis no larger: It is not right it should be.
STREPSIADES And do you then, Insatiable grasper! when the Sea, Receiving all these Rivers, grows no larger, Do you desire your silver to grow larger? Come now, you prosecute your journey off! Here, fetch the whip.
AMYNIAS Bear witness, I appeal.
STREPSIADES Be off! what, won’t you? Gee up, sigma-brand
AMYNIAS I say! a clear assault!
STREPSIADES You won’t be off?
STREPSIADES
I’ll stimulate you; Zeus! I’ll goad your haunches. Aha! you run: I thought I’d stir you up You and your phaetons, and wheels, and all!
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