τὸν Μενέλαον Ὅμηρος πεποίηκεν αὐτόματον ἑστιῶντι τοὺς ἀριστεῖς τῷ Ἀγαμέμνονι παραγιγνόμενον· ᾔδεε γὰρ κατὰ θυμὸν ἀδελφεὸν ὡς ἐπονεῖτο· καὶ τὴν ἄγνοιαν οὐ περιεῖδεν αὐτοῦ καταφανῆ γενομένην οὐδʼ ἤλεγξε τῷ μὴ ἐλθεῖν ὥσπερ οἱ φιλομεμφεῖς καὶ δύσκολοι ταῖς τοιαύταις τῶν φίλων παροράσεσι καὶ ἀγνοίαις ἐπιτίθενται, τῷ ἀμελεῖσθαι μᾶλλον ἢ τῷ τιμᾶσθαι χαίροντες, ὅπως ἐγκαλεῖν ἔχωσιν. τὸ δὲ τῶν ἐπικλήτων ἔθος, οὓς νῦν σκιὰς καλοῦσιν, οὐ κεκλημένους αὐτοὺς ἀλλʼ ὑπὸ τῶν κεκλημένων ἐπὶ τὸ δεῖπνον ἀγομένους, ἐζητεῖτο πόθεν ἔσχε τὴν ἀρχήν· ἐδόκει δʼ ἀπὸ Σωκράτους, Ἀριστόδημον ἀναπείσαντος οὐ κεκλημένον εἰς Ἀγάθωνος ἰέναι σὺν αὐτῷ, καὶ παθόντα τι γελοῖον· ἔλαθε γὰρ κατὰ τὴν ὁδὸν ὑπολειφθεὶς ὁ Σωκράτης, ὁ δὲ προεισῆλθεν, ἀτεχνῶς σκιὰ προβαδίζουσα σώματος ἐξόπισθεν τὸ φῶς ἔχοντος. ὕστερον μέντοι περὶ τὰς τῶν ξένων ὑποδοχάς, μάλιστα τῶν ἡγεμονικῶν, ἀναγκαῖον ἐγίγνετο τοῖς ἀγνοοῦσι τοὺς ἑπομένους καὶ τιμωμένους ἐπὶ τῷ ξένῳ ποιεῖσθαι τὴν κλῆσιν, ἀριθμὸν δʼ ὁρίζειν, ὅπως μὴ πάθωσιν ὃ παθεῖν συνέπεσε τῷ δεχομένῳ τὸν βασιλέα Φίλιππον ἐπὶ τῆς χώρας· ἧκε γὰρ ἄγων πολλούς, τὸ δὲ δεῖπνον οὐ πολλοῖς ἦν παρεσκευασμένον· ἰδὼν οὖν θορυβούμενον τὸν ξένον περιέπεμπε πρὸς τοὺς φίλους ἀτρέμα, χώραν πλακοῦντι καταλιπεῖν κελεύων οἱ δὲ προσδοκῶντες ὑπεφείδοντο τῶν παρακειμένων καὶ πᾶσιν οὕτως ἐξήρκεσε τὸ δεῖπνον.
HOMER makes Menelaus come uninvited to his brother Agamemnon’s treat, when he feasted the commanders; For well he knew great cares his brother vexed. He did not take notice of the plain and evident omission of his brother, or show his resentments by not coming, as some surly testy persons usually do upon such oversights of their best friends; although they had rather be overlooked than particularly invited, that they may have some color for their pettish anger. But about the introduced guests (which we call shadows) who are not invited by the entertainer, but by some others of the guests, a question was started, from whom that custom began. Some thought from Socrates, who persuaded Aristodemus, who was not invited, to go along with him to Agatho’s, where there happened a pretty jest. For Socrates by accident staying somewhat behind, Aristodemus went in first; and this seemed very fitting, for, the sun shining on their backs, the shadow ought to go before the body. Afterwards it was thought necessary at all entertainments, especially of great men, when the inviter did not know their favorites and acquaintance, to desire the invited to bring his company, appointing such a set number, lest they should be put to the same shifts which he was put to who invited King Philip to his country-house. The king came with a numerous attendance, but the provision was not equal to the company. Therefore, seeing his entertainer much cast down, he sent some about to tell his friends privately, that they should keep one corner of their bellies for a great cake that was to come. And they, expecting this, fed sparingly on the meat that was set before them, so that the provision seemed sufficient for them all.
ἐμοῦ δὲ ταῦτα πρὸς τοὺς παρόντας ἀδολεσχοῦντος, ἔδοξε Φλώρῳ καὶ σπουδάσαι τι περὶ τῶν σκιῶν λεγομένων, διαπορήσαντας εἰ προσήκει τοῖς καλουμένοις οὕτω βαδίζειν καὶ συνακολουθεῖν. ὁ μὲν οὖν γαμβρὸς αὐτοῦ Καισέρνιος ὅλως ἀπεδοκίμαζε τὸ πρᾶγμα. μάλιστα μὲν γὰρ τῷ Ἡσιόδῳ πειθομένους ἔφη χρῆναι τὸν φιλέοντʼ ἐπὶ δαῖτα καλεῖν· εἰ δὲ μή, γνωρίμους αὑτῶν καὶ ἐπιτηδείους παρακαλεῖν ἐπὶ κοινωνίαν σπονδῆς καὶ τραπέζης καὶ λόγων ἐν οἴνῳ γιγνομένων καὶ φιλοφροσύνης. νῦν δʼ ὥσπερ εἶπεν οἱ τὰ πλοῖα ναυλοῦντες, ὅ τι ἂν φέρῃ τις, ἐμβάλλεσθαι παρέχουσιν, οὕτως ἡμεῖς τὰ συμπόσια παραδόντες ἑτέροις πληροῦν ἀφίεμεν ἐκ τῶν προστυχόντων, ἄν τε χαρίεντες ὦσιν, ἄν τε φαῦλοι. θαυμάσαιμι δʼ ἄν, εἰ χαρίεις ἀνὴρ ἐπίκλητος ἀφίκοιτο, μᾶλλον δʼ ἄκλητος, ὅν γε πολλάκις οὐδὲ γιγνώσκει τὸ παράπαν ὁ δειπνίζων· εἰ δὲ γιγνώσκων καὶ χρώμενος οὐ κέκληκεν, ἔτι γε μᾶλλον αἰσχύνη βαδίζειν πρὸς τοῦτον, ὥσπερ ἐξελέγχοντα μετέχειν τῶν ἐκείνου, τρόπον τινὰ βίᾳ καὶ ἄκοντος· ἔτι καὶ προτερεῖν ἢ ἀπολείπεσθαι τοῦ κεκληκότος πρὸς ἕτερον ἔχει τινὰ δυσωπίαν, καὶ οὐκ ἀστεῖόν ἐστι μαρτύρων δεόμενον πρὸς τοὺς ὑποδεχομένους βαδίζειν, ὡς οὐ κλητὸς ἀλλὰ σκιὰ τοῦ δεῖνος ἐπὶ τὸ δεῖπνον ἥκει· καὶ πάλιν τὸ παρέπεσθαι καὶ παραφυλάττειν ἄλειμμα καὶ λουτρὸν ἑτέρου καὶ ὥραν βραδύνοντος ἢ ταχύνοντος ἀνελεύθερον εὖ μάλα καὶ Γναθώνειον, εἰ δὴ Γνάθων γέγονε δεινότατος ἄνθρωπος τἀλλότρια δειπνεῖν. εἴ γε μὴν οὐκ ἔστιν ὅτε μᾶλλον ἀνθρώποις ἐφιᾶσιν εἰπεῖν ὦ γλῶσσα, μέτριον εἴ τι κομπάσαι θέλεις, / ἔξειπε, / καὶ παρρησία πλείστη μετὰ παιδιᾶς ἀναμέμικται τοῖς λεγομένοις ἐν οἴνῳ καὶ πραττομένοις· ἐνταῦθα δὴ πῶς ἄν τις ἑαυτὸν μεταχειρίσαιτο μὴ γνήσιος ὢν μηδʼ αὐτόκλητος, ἀλλὰ τρόπον τινὰ νόθος καὶ παρεγγεγραμμένος εἰς τὸ συμπόσιον; καὶ γὰρ τὸ χρῆσθαι καὶ τὸ μὴ χρῆσθαι παρρησίᾳ πρὸς τοὺς παρόντας εὐσυκοφάντητον. οὐ μικρὸν δὲ κακὸν οὐδʼ ἡ τῶν ὀνομάτων εὐχέρεια καὶ βωμολοχία τοῖς μὴ δυσχεραίνουσιν ἀλλʼ ὑπομένουσι σκιὰς καλεῖσθαι καὶ ὑπακούειν· προσεθίζει γὰρ εἰς τὰ ἔργα τῷ αἰσχρῷ τὸ ῥᾳδίως ὑπὸ τῶν ῥημάτων ἄγεσθαι. διὸ καλῶν μὲν ἑταίρους ἔδωκά ποτε σκιάς· ἰσχυρὰ γὰρ ἡ τῆς πόλεως συνήθεια καὶ δυσπαραίτητος· αὐτὸς δὲ κληθεὶς ὑφʼ ἑτέρου πρὸς ἕτερον ἄχρι γε νῦν ἀντέχω μὴ ὑπακοῦσαι.
When I had talked thus waggishly to the company, Florus had a mind to talk gravely concerning these shadows, and have it discussed whether it was fit for those that were so invited to go, or no. His son-in-law Caesernius was positively against it. We should, says he, following Hesiod’s advice, Invite a friend to feast, or at least we should have our acquaintance and familiars to participate of our entertainments, mirth, and discourse over a glass of wine; but now, as ferry-men permit their passengers to bring in what fardel they please, so we permit others to fill our entertainments with any persons, let them be good companions or not. And I should wonder that any man of breeding being so (that is, not at all) invited, should go; since, for the most part, he must be unacquainted with the entertainer, or if he was acquainted, was not thought worthy to be bidden. Nay, he should be more ashamed to go to such a one, if he considers that it will look like an upbraiding of his unkindness, and yet a rude intruding into his company against his will. Besides, to go before or after the guest that invites him must look unhandsomely, nor is it creditable to go and stand in need of witnesses to assure the guests that he doth not come as a principally invited person, but such a one’s shadow. Beside, to attend others bathing or anointing, to observe his hour, whether he goes early or late, is servile and gnathonical (for there never was such an excellent fellow as Gnatho to feed at another man’s table). Besides, if there is no more proper time and place to say, Speak, tongue, if thou wilt utter jovial things, than at a feast, and freedom and raillery is mixed with every thing that is either done or said over a glass of wine, how should he behave himself, who is not a true principally invited guest, but as it were a bastard and supposititious intruder? For whether he is free or not, he lies open to the exception of the company. Besides, the very meanness and vileness of the name is no small evil to those who do not resent but can quietly endure to be called and answer to the name of shadows. For, by enduring such base names, men are insensibly customed and drawn on to base actions. Therefore, when I make an invitation, since it is hard to break the custom of a place, I give my guests leave to bring shadows; but when I myself am invited as a shadow, I assure you I refuse to go.
γενομένης δὲ μετὰ τοὺς λόγους τούτους ἡσυχίας, ὁ Φλῶρος τοῦτʼ ἔφη τὸ δεύτερον ἔχει μᾶλλον ἀπορίαν· τὸ δὲ καλεῖν οὕτως ἀναγκαῖόν ἐστιν ἐν ταῖς τῶν ξένων ὑποδοχαῖς, ὥσπερ εἴρηται πρότερον οὔτε γὰρ ἄνευ φίλων ἐστὶ δὴ ἐπιεικὲς οὔτε γιγνώσκειν οὓς ἔχων ἣκει ῥᾴδιον κἀγὼ πρὸς αὐτόν ὅρα τοίνυν ἔφην μὴ οἱ καλεῖν οὕτω δεδωκότες τοῖς ἑστιῶσι καὶ τὸ πείθεσθαι τοῖς καλουμένοις καὶ βαδίζειν δεδώκασιν οὔτε γὰρ διδόναι καλὸν οὔτʼ · αἰτεῖν ὃ διδόναι μὴ καθῆκεν, οὔθʼ ὅλως παρακαλεῖν ἃ μὴ δεῖ παρακαλεῖσθαι μηδʼ ὁμολογεῖν μηδὲ πράττειν. τὰ μὲν οὖν πρὸς ἡγεμόνας ἢ ξένους οὐκ ἔχει κλῆσιν οὐδʼ αἵρεσιν, ἀλλὰ δεῖ δέχεσθαι τοὺς μετʼ αὐτῶν παραγιγνομένους. ἄλλως δὲ φίλον ἑστιῶντα φιλικώτερον μέν ἐστι τὸ καλεῖν αὐτόν, ὡς οὐκ · ἀγνοοῦντα τοὺς γνωρίμους αὐτοῦ καὶ συνήθεις ἢ οἰκείους· μείζων γὰρ ἡ τιμὴ καὶ ἡ χάρις, ὡς μὴ λανθάνοντος, ὅτι τούτους ἀσπάζεται μάλιστα καὶ τούτοις ἥδιστα σύνεστι καὶ χαίρει τιμωμένοις ὁμοίως καὶ παρακαλουμένοις. οὐ μὴν ἀλλʼ ἔστιν ὅτε ποιητέον ἐπʼ αὐτῷ, καθάπερ οἱ θεῷ θύοντες ἅμα συμβώμοις καὶ συννάοις κοινῶς συνεπεύχονται καὶ καθʼ ἕκαστον ἐκείνων μὴ ὀνομάζοντες· οὔτε γὰρ ὄψον οὔτʼ οἶνος οὔτε μύρον οὕτως ἡδέως διατίθησιν, ὡς σύνδειπνος εὔνους καὶ προσηνής. ἀλλὰ τὸ μὲν ὄψοις καὶ πέμμασιν οἵοις ὁ μέλλων ἑστιᾶσθαι μάλιστα χαίρει, καὶ περὶ οἴνων διαφορᾶς καὶ μύρων ἐρωτᾶν καὶ διαπυνθάνεσθαι, φορτικὸν κομιδῇ καὶ νεόπλουτον· ᾧ δὲ πολλοὶ φίλοι καὶ οἰκεῖοι καὶ συνήθεις εἰσίν, αὐτὸν παρακαλεῖν ἐκείνων, οἷς ἂν ἥδιστα συγγίγνοιτο καὶ μεθʼ ὧν εὐφραίνεται παρόντων, μάλιστα τούτους ἄγειν οὐκ ἀηδὲς οὐδʼ ἄτοπον. οὔτε γὰρ τὸ συμπλεῖν οὔτε τὸ συνοικεῖν οὔτε τὸ συνδικάζειν, μεθʼ ὧν οὐ βούλεταί τις, οὕτως ἀηδές, ὡς τὸ συνδειπνεῖν, καὶ τοὐναντίον ἡδύ· κοινωνία γάρ ἐστι καὶ σπουδῆς καὶ παιδιᾶς καὶ λόγων καὶ πράξεων τὸ συμπόσιον. ὅθεν οὐ τοὺς τυχόντας ἀλλὰ τοὺς προσφιλεῖς εἶναι δεῖ καὶ συνήθεις ἀλλήλοις, ὡς ἡδέως συνεσομένους. ὄψα μὲν γὰρ οἱ μάγειροι σκευάζουσιν ἐκ χυμῶν διαφόρων, αὐστηρὰ καὶ λιπαρὰ καὶ γλυκέα καὶ δριμέα συγκεραννύντες· σύνδειπνον δὲ χρηστὸν οὐκ ἂν γένοιτο καὶ κεχαρισμένον ἀνθρώπων ὁμοφύλων μηδʼ ὁμοιοπαθῶν εἰς ταὐτὸ συμφθαρέντων. ἐπεὶ δέ, ὥσπερ οἱ Περιπατητικοὶ λέγουσι, τὸ μὲν πρῶτον φύσει κινοῦν μὴ κινούμενον δʼ εἶναι, τὸ δʼ ἔσχατον κινούμενον μηδὲ ἓν δὲ κινοῦν· μεταξὺ δʼ ἀμφοῖν τὸ καὶ κινοῦν ἕτερα καὶ κινούμενον ὑφʼ ἑτέρων· οὕτωςἔφην ὁ λόγος, τριῶν ὄντων ὦν ὁ μὲν καλῶν μόνον ὁ δὲ καλούμενος,· ὁ δὲ καὶ καλῶν καὶ καλούμενός ἐστιν, εἴρηται μὲν περὶ τοῦ καλοῦντος· οὐ χεῖρον δʼ ἐστὶ καὶ περὶ τῶν ἄλλων ἔφην ἅ γʼ ἐμοὶ δοκεῖ, διελθεῖν. ὁ μὲν οὖν καλούμενος ὑφʼ ἑτέρου καὶ καλῶν ἑτέρους πρῶτον, οἶμαι, τοῦ πλήθους φείδεσθαι δίκαιός ἐστι, μὴ καθάπερ ἐκ πολεμίας ὁμοῦ πᾶσι τοῖς περὶ αὑτὸν ἐπισιτιζόμενος μηδʼ, ὥσπερ οἱ χώρας καταλαμβάνοντες ἐν τῷ πεττεύειν, ἀεὶ τοῖς ἰδίοις φίλοις τοὺς τοῦ καλέσαντος ἐκκρούων καὶ ἀποκρούων ἅπαντας· ὥστε πάσχειν τοὺς δειπνίζοντας, ἃ πάσχουσιν οἱ τῇ Ἑκάτῃ καὶ τοῖς ἀποτροπαίοις ἐκφέροντες; τὰ δεῖπνα, μὴ γευομένους αὐτοὺς μηδὲ τοὺς οἴκοι, πλὴν καπνοῦ καὶ θορύβου μετέχοντας. ἄλλως γὰρ ἡμῖν προσπαίζουσιν οἱ λέγοντες Δελφοῖσι θύσας αὐτὸς ὀψωνεῖ κρέας· ἀληθῶς δὲ τοῦτο συμβαίνει τοῖς ξένους ἀγνώμονας ἢ φίλους δεχομένοις μετὰ σκιῶν πολλῶν ὥσπερ Ἁρπυιῶν διαφοροῦντας τὰ δεῖπνα καὶ προνομεύοντας. ἔπειτα δεῖ μὴ μεθʼ ὧν ἔτυχε βαδίζειν πρὸς ἑτέρους ἐπὶ δεῖπνον, ἀλλὰ μάλιστα μὲν καλεῖν τοὺς τοῦ δειπνίζοντος οἰκείους καὶ συνήθεις, πρὸς αὐτὸν ἐκεῖνον ἁμιλλώμενον καὶ προκαταλαμβάνοντα ταῖς κλήσεσιν εἰ δὲ μή, τῶν ἰδίων φίλων οὓς ἂν καὶ ἤθελεν αὐτὸς ἑλέσθαι ὁ δειπνίζων, ἐπιεικὴς ὢν ἐπιεικεῖς, καὶ φιλόλογος φιλολόγους ὄντας, ἢ δυνατοὺς; δυνάμενος, πάλαι ζητῶν ἁμωσγέπως αὐτοῖς ἐν προσηγορίᾳ καὶ κοινωνίᾳ γενέσθαι. τὸ γὰρ οὕτως ἔχοντι παραδοῦναι καὶ παρασχεῖν ὁμιλίας ἀρχὴν καὶ φιλοφροσύνης εὔστοχον ἐπιεικῶς· καὶ ἀστεῖον· ὁ δʼ ἀσυμφύλους καὶ ἀσυναρμόστους ἐπάγων, οἷον νηπτικῷ πολυπότας, καὶ λιτῷ περὶ δίαιταν ἀκολάστους καὶ πολυτελεῖς, ἢ νέῳ πάλιν ποτικῷ καὶ φιλοπαίγμονι πρεσβύτας σκυθρωποὺς ἢ βαρὺ φθεγγομένους ἐκ πώγωνος σοφιστάς, ἄκαιρός ἐστιν ἀηδίᾳ φιλοφροσύνην ἀμειβόμενος;. δεῖ γὰρ οὐχ ἧττον ἡδὺν εἶναι τῷ δειπνίζοντι τὸν κεκλημένον ἢ τῷ κεκλημένῳ τὸν ὑποδεχόμενον· ἔσται δʼ ἡδύς, ἐὰν μὴ μόνον ἑαυτὸν ἀλλὰ καὶ τοὺς σὺν αὑτῷ καὶ διʼ αὑτὸν ἥκοντας ἐπιδεξίους παρέχῃ καὶ προσηνεῖς. ὅ γε μὴν λοιπὸς; ἔτι τῶν τριῶν οὗτος ὁ καλούμενος ὑφʼ ἑτέρου πρὸς ἕτερον, τὸ μὲν τῆς σκιὰν· ἀναινόμενος ὄνομα καὶ δυσχεραίνων, ἀληθῶς σκιὰν δόξει φοβεῖσθαι, δεῖται δὲ πλείστης εὐλαβείας. οὔτε γὰρ τοῖς τυχοῦσιν ἀκολουθεῖν ἑτοίμως καλὸν οὔθʼ ὅπως ἔτυχεν· ἀλλὰ δεῖ σκοπεῖν πρῶτον τίς ὁ καλῶν ἐστιν. εἰ μὲν γὰρ οὐ σφόδρα συνήθης, ἀλλʼ ἢ τῶν πλουσίων τις ἢ σατραπικῶν, ὡς ἐπὶ σκηνῆς δορυφορήματος λαμπροῦ δεόμενος ἢ πάνυ χαρίζεσθαι τῇ κλήσει πεπεισμένος καὶ τιμᾶν, ἐπάγεται, παραιτητέος εὐθύς. εἰ δὲ φίλος καὶ συνήθης, οὐκ εὐθὺς ὑπακουστέον· ἀλλʼ ἐὰν δοκῇ δεῖσθαί τινος ἀναγκαίας ὁμιλίας καὶ κοινωνίας καιρὸν ἄλλον οὐκ ἐχούσης, ἢ διὰ χρόνου ποθὲν ἀφιγμένος ἢ μέλλων ἀπαίρειν φανερὸς διʼ εὔνοιαν ἐπιθυμῶν καὶ ποθῶν συμπεριενεχθῆναι, καὶ μήτε πολλοὺς μήτʼ ἀλλοτρίους, ἀλλʼ αὐτὸν ἢ μετʼ ὀλίγων ἑταίρων ἐπαγόμενος, ἢ μετὰ ταῦτα πάντα πραγματευόμενος ἀρχήν τινα συνηθείας καὶ φιλίας διʼ αὑτοῦ γενέσθαι τῷ καλουμένῳ πρὸς τὸν καλοῦντα χρηστὸν ὄντα καὶ φιλίας ἄξιον. ἐπεὶ τοὺς γε μοχθηρούς, ὅσῳ μᾶλλον ἐπιλαμβάνονται καὶ συμπλέκονται, καθάπερ βάτους καὶ ἀπαρίνας ὑπερβατέον ἐστί· κἂν ἐπιεικεῖς οἱ ἄγοντες ὦσι πρὸς ἐπιεικῆ δὲ μὴ ἄγωσιν, οὐ δεῖ συνακολουθεῖν οὐδʼ ὑπομένειν, ὥσπερ διὰ μέλιτος φάρμακον λαμβάνοντας, μοχθηρὸν διὰ χρηστοῦ φίλον. ἄτοπον δὲ καὶ τὸ πρὸς ἀγνῶτα κομιδῇ καὶ ἀσυνήθη βαδίζειν, ἂν μή τις ᾖ διαφέρων ἀρετῇ, καθάπερ εἴρηται, καὶ τοῦτο φιλίας ποιησόμενος ἀρχὴν καὶ ἀγαπήσων τὸ ῥᾳδίως καὶ ἀφελῶς ἀφικέσθαι σὺν ἑτέρῳ πρὸς αὐτόν. καὶ μὴν τῶν συνήθων πρὸς τούτους μάλιστα βαδιστέον ὑφʼ ἑτέρου καλούμενον, οἷς ἐφίεται μεθʼ ἑτέρων καὶ αὐτοῖς βαδίζειν πρὸς ἡμᾶς. Φιλίππῳ μὲν γὰρ ἐδόκει τῷ γελωτοποιῷ τὸ αὐτόκλητον ἐπὶ δεῖπνον ἐλθεῖν γελοιότερον εἶναι τοῦ κεκλημένον· ἀγαθοῖς δὲ καὶ φίλοις ἀνδράσι παρὰ φίλους καὶ ἀγαθοὺς σεμνότερόν ἐστι καὶ ἥδιον, ἂν μὴ καλέσασι μηδὲ προσδοκῶσιν ἐν καιρῷ παραγίγνωνται μετὰ φίλων ἑτέρων, εὐφραίνοντες ἅμα τοὺς δεχομένους καὶ τιμῶντες τοὺς ἀγαγόντας. ἥκιστα δὲ πρὸς ἡγεμόνας ἢ πλουσίους ἢ δυνάστας μὴ καλουμένους ὑπʼ αὐτῶν ἀλλʼ ὑφʼ ἑτέρων πρέπει βαδίζειν, ἀναιδείας καὶ ἀπειροκαλίας καὶ φιλοτιμίας ἀκαίρου δόξαν οὐκ ἄλογον φυλαττομένους.
A short silence followed this discourse; then Florus began thus: This last thing you mentioned, sir, is a greater difficulty than the other. For it is necessary when we invite our friends to give them liberty to choose their own shadows, as was before hinted; for to entertain them without their friends is not very obliging, nor is it very easy to know whom the person we invite would be most pleased with. Then said I to him: Consider therefore whether those that give their friends this license to invite do not at the same time give the invited license to accept the invitation and come to the entertainment. For it is not fit either to permit or to desire another to do that which is not decent to be done, or to urge and persuade to that which no man ought to be persuaded or to consent to do. When we entertain a great man or stranger, there we cannot invite or choose his company, but must receive those that come along with him. But when we treat a friend, it will be more acceptable if we ourselves invite all, as knowing his acquaintance and familiars; for it tickles him extremely to see that others take notice that he hath chiefly a respect for such and such, loves their company most, and is well pleased when they are honored and invited as well as he. Yet sometimes we must deal with our friend as petitioners do when they make addresses to a God; they offer vows to all that belong to the same altar and the same shrine, though they make no particular mention of their names. For no dainties, wine, or ointment can incline a man to merriment, as much as a pleasant agreeable companion. For as it is rude and ungenteel to enquire and ask what sort of meat, wine, or ointment the person whom we are to entertain loves best; so it is never disobliging or absurd to desire him who hath a great many acquaintance to bring those along with him whose company he likes most, and in whose conversation he can take the greatest pleasure. For it is not so irksome and tedious to sail in the same ship, to dwell in the same house, or be a judge upon the same bench, with a person whom we do not like, as to be at the same table with him; and the contrary is equally pleasant. An entertainment is a communion of serious or merry discourse or actions; and therefore, to make a merry company, we should not pick up any person at a venture, but take only such as are known to one another and sociable. Cooks, it is true, mix sour and sweet juices, rough and oily, to make their sauces; but there never was an agreeable table or pleasant entertainment where the guests were not all of a piece, and all of the same humor. Now, as the Peripatetics say, the first mover in nature moves only and is not moved, and the last moved is moved only but does not move, and between these there is that which moves and is moved by others; so there is the same analogy between those three sorts of persons that make up a company,—there is the simple inviter, the simple invited, the invited that invites another. We have spoken already concerning the inviter, and it will not be improper, in my opinion, to deliver my sentiments about the other two. He that is invited and invites others, should, in my opinion, be sparing in the number that he brings. He should not, as if he were to forage in an enemy’s country, carry all he can with him; or, like those who go to possess a new-found land, by the excessive number of his own friends, incommode or exclude the friends of the inviter, so that the inviter must be in the same case with those that set forth suppers to Hecate and the Gods who avert evil, of which neither they nor any of their family partake, except of the smoke and trouble. It is true they only speak in waggery that say, He that at Delphi offers sacrifice / Must after meat for his own dinner buy. / But the same thing really happens to him who entertains ill-bred guests or friends, who with a great many shadows, as it were harpies, tear and devour his provision. Besides, he should not take anybody that he may meet along with him to another’s entertainment, but chiefly the entertainer’s acquaintance, as it were contending with him and preventing him in the invitation. But if that cannot be effected, let him carry such of his own friends as the entertainer would choose himself; to a civil modest man, some of complaisant humor; to a learned man, ingenious persons; to a man that hath borne office, some of the same rank; and, in short, such whose acquaintance he hath formerly sought and would be now glad of. For it will be extremely pleasing and obliging to bring such into company together; but one who brings to a feast men who have no conformity at all with the feast-maker, but who are perfect aliens and strangers to him,—as hard drinkers to a sober man,— gluttons and sumptuous persons to a temperate thrifty entertainer,—or to a young, merry, boon companion, grave old philosophers solemnly talking through their beards,—will be very disobliging, and turn all the intended mirth into an unpleasant sourness. The entertained should be as obliging to the entertainer as the entertainer to the entertained; and then he will be most obliging, when not only he himself, but all those that come by his means, are pleasant and agreeable.
The last of the three which remains to be spoken of is he that is invited by one man to another’s feast. Now he that disdains and is much offended at the name of a shadow will appear to be afraid of a mere shadow. But in this matter there is need of a great deal of caution, for it is not creditable readily to go along with every one and to everybody. But first you must consider who it is that invites; for if he is not a very familiar friend, but a rich or great man, such who, as if upon a stage, wants a large or splendid retinue, or such who thinks that he puts a great obligation upon you and does you a great deal of honor by this invitation, you must presently deny. But if he is your friend and particular acquaintance, you must not yield upon the first motion: but if there seems a necessity for some conversation which cannot be put off till another time, or if he is lately come from a journey or designs to go on one, and out of mere good-will and affection seems desirous of your company, and doth not desire to carry a great many strangers but only some few friends along with him; or, besides all this, if he designs to bring you thus invited acquainted with the principal inviter, who is very worthy of your acquaintance, then consent and go. For as to ill-humored persons, the more they seize and take hold of us like thorns, we should endeavor to free ourselves from them or leap over them the more. If he that invites is a civil and well-bred person, yet doth not design to carry you to one of the same temper, you must refuse, lest you should take poison in honey, that is, get the acquaintance of a bad man by an honest friend. It is absurd to go to one you do not know, and with whom you never had any familiarity, unless, as I said before, the person be an extraordinary man, and, by a civil waiting upon him at another man’s invitation, you design to begin an acquaintance with him. And those friends you should chiefly go to as shadows, who would come to you again in the same quality. To Philip the jester, indeed, he seemed more ridiculous that came to a feast of his own accord than he that was invited; but to well-bred and civil friends it is more obliging for men of the same temper to come at the nick of time with other friends, when uninvited and unexpected; at once pleasing both to those that invite and those that entertain. But chiefly you must avoid going to rulers, rich or great men, lest you incur the deserved censure of being impudent, saucy, rude, and unseasonably ambitious.
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