SAUSAGE-SELLER
O Aye and ’tis worth the hearing. When behind him I reached the Council-chamber, there was he Crashing and dashing, hurling at the Knights Strange wonder-working thunder - driving words, Calling them all, with all-persuading force, Conspirators! And all the Council, hearing, Grew full of lying orach at his talk,
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Wore mustard looks, and puckered up their brows. So when I saw them taking in his words, Gulled by his knavish tricks, Ye Gods, said I, Ye Gods of knavery, Skitals, and Phenaces, And ye Beresceths, Cobals, Mothon, and Thou Agora, whence my youthful training came, Now give me boldness and a ready tongue And shameless voice! And as I pondered thus, I heard a loud explosion on my right, And made my reverence; then I dashed apart The railing-wicket, opened wide my mouth, And cried aloud, O Council, I have got Some lovely news which first I bring to you. For never, never, since the War broke out, Have I seen pilchards cheaper than to-day. They calmed their brows and grew serene at once, And crowned me for my news; and I suggested, Bidding them keep it secret, that forthwith, To buy these pilchards, many for a penny, ’Twere best to seize the cups in all the shops. They clapped their hands, and turned agape to me. But Paphlagon perceived, and well aware What kind of measures please the Council best, Proposed a resolution; Sirs, quoth he, I move that for these happy tidings brought, One hundred beeves be offered to Athene. The Council instantly inclined to him. So, overpowered with cow-dung, in a trice
SAUSAGE-SELLER I overshot him with two hundred beeves. And vow, said I, to slay to-morrow morn, If pilchards sell one hundred for an obol, A thousand she-goats to our huntress Queen. Back came their heads, expectantly, to me. He, dazed at this, went babbling idly on; So then the Prytanes and the Archers seized him. And they stood up, and raved about the pilchards; And he kept begging them to wait awhile And hear the tale the Spartan envoy brings; He has just arrived about a peace, shrieked he. But all the Council with one voice exclaimed, What! now about a peace? No doubt, my man, Now they’ve heard pilchards are so cheap at Athens! We want no truces; let the War go on! With that, Dismiss us, Prytanes! shouted they; And overleaped the railings everywhere. And I slipped out, and purchased all the leeks And all the coriander in the market; And as they stood perplexed, I gave them all Of my free bounty garnish for their fish. And they so praised and purred about me, that With just one obol’s worth of coriander I’ve all the Council won, and here I am.
CHORUS What rising men should do Has all been done by you He, the rascal, now has met a Bigger rascal still,
CHORUS
Full of guile Plot and wile, Full of knavish skill. Mind you carry through the conflict In the same undaunted guise. Well you know Long ago We’re your faithful true allies.
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