Πλοῦτος οὔτʼ οὖν ἐκείνους οὔτε τοὺς πάνυ προχείρους εἰς ἐμὲ τούτους ἐπαινῶ, ἀλλὰ τούς, ὅπερ ἄριστόν ἐστι, μέτρον ἐπιθήσοντας τῷ πράγματι καὶ μήτε ἀφεξομένους τὸ παράπαν μήτε προησομένους τὸ ὅλον.
σκόπει γάρ, ὦ Ζεῦ, πρὸς τοῦ Διός. εἴ τις νόμῳ γήμας γυναῖκα νέαν καὶ καλὴν ἔπειτα μήτε φυλάττοι μήτε ζηλοτυποῖ τὸ παράπαν, ἀφιεὶς καὶ βαδίζειν ἔνθα ἐθέλοι νύκτωρ καὶ μεθʼ ἡμέραν καὶ συνεῖναι τοῖς βουλομένοις, μᾶλλον δὲ αὐτὸς ἀπάγοι μοιχευθησομένην ἀνοίγων τὰς θύρας καὶ μαστροπεύων καὶ πάντας ἐπʼ αὐτὴν καλῶν, ἆρα ὁ τοιοῦτος ἐρᾶν δόξειεν ἄν; οὐ σύ γε, ὦ Ζεῦ, τοῦτο φαίης ἄν, ἐρασθεὶς πολλάκις.
Πλοῦτος εἰ δέ τις ἔμπαλιν ἐλευθέραν γυναῖκα εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν νόμῳ παραλαβὼν ἐπʼ ἀρότῳ παίδων γνησίων, ὁ δὲ μήτε αὐτὸς προσάπτοιτο ἀκμαίας καὶ καλῆς παρθένου μήτε ἄλλῳ προσβλέπειν ἐπιτρέποι, ἄγονον δὲ καὶ στεῖραν κατακλείσας παρθενεύοι, καὶ ταῦτα ἐρᾶν φάσκων καὶ δῆλος ὢν ἀπὸ τῆς χρόας καὶ τῆς σαρκὸς ἐκτετηκυίας καὶ τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν ὑποδεδυκότων, ἔσθʼ ὅπως ὁ τοιοῦτος οὐ παραπαίειν δόξειεν ἄν, δέον παιδοποιεῖσθαι καὶ ἀπολαύειν τοῦ γάμου, καταμαραίνων εὐπρόσωπον οὕτω καὶ ἐπέραστον κόρην καθάπερ ἱέρειαν τῇ Θεσμοφόρῳ τρέφων διὰ παντὸς τοῦ βίου; ταῦτα καὶ αὐτὸς ἀγανακτῶ, πρὸς ἐνίων μὲν ἀτίμως λακτιζόμενος καὶ λαφυσσόμενος καὶ ἐξαντλούμενος, ὑπʼ ἐνίων δὲ ὥσπερ στιγματίας δραπέτης πεπεδημένος.
Ζεύς τί οὖν ἀγανακτεῖς κατʼ αὐτῶν; διδόασι γὰρ ἄμφω καλὴν τὴν δίκην, οἱ μὲν ὥσπερ ὁ Τάνταλος ἄποτοι καὶ ἄγευστοι καὶ ξηροὶ τὸ στόμα, ἐπικεχηνότες μόνον τῷ χρυσίῳ, οἱ δὲ καθάπερ ὁ Φινεὺς ἀπὸ τῆς φάρυγγος τὴν τροφὴν ὑπὸ τῶν Ἁρπυιῶν ἀφαιρούμενοι. ἀλλʼ ἄπιθι ἤδη σωφρονεστέρῳ παρὰ πολὺ τῷ Τίμωνι ἐντευξόμενος.
Πλοῦτος ἐκεῖνος γάρ ποτε παύσεται ὥσπερ ἐκ κοφίνου τετρυπημένου, πρὶν ὅλως εἰσρυῆναί με, κατὰ σπουδὴν ἐξαντλῶν, φθάσαι βουλόμενος τὴν ἐπιρροήν, μὴ ὑπέραντλος εἰσπεσὼν ἐπικλύσω αὐτόν; ὥστε ἐς τὸν τῶν Δαναΐδων πίθον ὑδροφορήσειν μοι δοκῶ καὶ μάτην ἐπαντλήσειν, τοῦ κύτους μὴ στέγοντος, ἀλλὰ πρὶν εἰσρυῆναι σχεδὸν ἐκχυθησομένου τοῦ ἐπιρρέοντος· οὕτως εὐρύτερον τὸ πρὸς τὴν ἔκχυσιν κεχηνὸς τοῦ πίθου καὶ ἀκώλυτος ἡ ἔξοδος.
PLUTUS Oh, if you consider the thing candidly, you will find both attitudes reasonable. It is clear enough that Timon’s utter negligence comes from slackness, and not from any consideration for me. As for the other sort, who keep me shut up in the obscurity of strong-boxes, intent on making me heavy and fat and unwieldy, never touching me themselves, and never letting me see the light, lest some one else should catch sight of me, I always thought of them as fools and tyrants; what harm had I done that they should let me rot in close confinement? and did not they know that in a little while they would pass away and have to resign me to some other lucky man?
No, give me neither these nor the off-hand gentry; my beau ideal is the man who steers a middle course, as far from complete abstention as from utter profusion. Consider, Zeus, by your own great name; suppose a man were to take a fair young wife, and then absolutely decline all jealous precautions, to the point of letting her wander where she would by day or night, keeping company with any one who had a mind to her—or put it a little stronger, and let him be procurer, janitor, pander, and advertiser of her charms in his own person—well, what sort of love is his? come, Zeus, you have a good deal of experience, you know what love is.
On the other hand, let a man make a suitable match for the express purpose of raising heirs, and then let him neither himself have anything to do with her ripe, yet modest, beauty, nor allow any other to set eyes on it, but shut her up in barren, fruitless virginity; let him say all the while that he is in love with her, and let his pallid hue, his wasting flesh and his sunken eyes confirm the statement;—is he a madman, or is he not? he should be raising a family and enjoying matrimony; but he lets this fair-faced lovely girl wither away; he might as well be bringing up a perpetual priestess of Demeter. And now you understand my feelings when one set of people kick me about or waste me by the bucketful, and the others clap irons on me like a runaway convict.
ZEUS However, indignation is superfluous; both sets have just what they deserve—one as hungry and thirsty and dry-mouthed as Tantalus, getting no further than gaping at the gold; and the other finding its food swept away from its very gullet, as the Harpies served Phineus. Come, be off with you; you will find Timon has much more sense nowadays.
PLUTUS Oh, of course! he will not do his best to let me run out of a leaky vessel before I have done running in! oh no, he will not be consumed with apprehensions of the inflow’s gaining on the waste and flooding him! I shall be supplying a cask of the Danaids; no matter how fast I pour in, the thing will not hold water; every gallon will be out almost before it is in; the bore of the waste-pipe is so large, and never a plug.
Ζεύς οὐκοῦν εἰ μὴ ἐμφράξεται τὸ κεχηνὸς τοῦτο καὶ ἔσται ἅπαξ ἀναπεπταμένον, ἐκχυθέντος ἐν βραχεῖ σου ῥᾳδίως εὑρήσει τὴν διφθέραν αὖθις καὶ τὴν δίκελλαν ἐν τῇ τρυγὶ τοῦ πίθου. ἀλλʼ ἄπιτε ἤδη καὶ πλουτίζετε αὐτόν· σὺ δὲ μέμνησο, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, ἐπανιὼν πρὸς ἡμᾶς ἄγειν τοὺς Κύκλωπας ἐκ τῆς Αἴτνης, ὅπως τὸν κεραυνὸν ἀκονήσαντες ἐπισκευάσωσιν· ὡς ἤδη γε τεθηγμένου αὐτοῦ δεησόμεθα.
Ἑρμῆς προΐωμεν, ὦ Πλοῦτε. τί τοῦτο; ὑποσκάζεις; ἐλελήθεις με, ὦ γεννάδα, οὐ τυφλὸς μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ χωλὸς ὤν.
Πλοῦτος οὐκ ἀεὶ τοῦτο, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, ἀλλʼ ὁπόταν μὲν ἀπίω παρά τινα πεμφθεὶς ὑπὸ τοῦ Διός, οὐκ οἶδʼ ὅπως βραδύς εἰμι καὶ χωλὸς ἀμφοτέροις, ὡς μόγις τελεῖν ἐπὶ τὸ τέρμα, προγηράσαντος ἐνίοτε τοῦ περιμένοντος, ὁπόταν δὲ ἀπαλλάττεσθαι δέῃ, πτηνὸν ὄψει, πολὺ τῶν ὀνείρων ὠκύτερον· ἅμα γοῦν ἔπεσεν ἡ ὕσπληγξ, κἀγὼ ἤδη ἀνακηρύττομαι νενικηκώς, ὑπερπηδήσας τὸ στάδιον οὐδὲ ἰδόντων ἐνίοτε τῶν θεατῶν.
Ἑρμῆς οὐκ ἀληθῆ ταῦτα φής· ἐγώ γέ τοι πολλοὺς ἂν εἰπεῖν ἔχοιμί σοι χθὲς μὲν οὐδὲ ὀβολὸν ὥστε πρίασθαι βρόχον ἐσχηκότας, ἄφνω δὲ τήμερον πλουσίους καὶ πολυτελεῖς ἐπὶ λευκοῦ ζεύγους ἐξελαύνοντας, οἷς οὐδὲ κἂν ὄνος ὑπῆρξε πώποτε. καὶ ὅμως πορφυροῖ καὶ χρυσόχειρες περιέρχονται οὐδʼ αὐτοὶ πιστεύοντες οἶμαι ὅτι μὴ ὄναρ πλουτοῦσιν.
Πλοῦτος ἑτεροῖον τοῦτʼ ἐστίν, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, καὶ οὐχὶ τοῖς ἐμαυτοῦ ποσὶ βαδίζω τότε, οὐδὲ ὁ Ζεύς, ἀλλʼ ὁ Πλούτων ἀποστέλλει με παρʼ αὐτοὺς ἅτε πλουτοδότης καὶ μεγαλόδωρος καὶ αὐτὸς ὤν· δηλοῖ γοῦν καὶ τῷ ὀνόματι. ἐπειδὰν τοίνυν μετοικισθῆναι δέῃ με παρʼ ἑτέρου πρὸς ἕτερον, ἐς δέλτον ἐμβαλόντες με καὶ κατασημηνάμενοι ἐπιμελῶς φορηδὸν ἀράμενοι μετακομίζουσιν· καὶ ὁ μὲν νεκρὸς ἐν σκοτεινῷ που τῆς οἰκίας πρόκειται ὑπὲρ τὰ γόνατα παλαιᾷ τῇ ὀθόνῃ σκεπόμενος, περιμάχητος ταῖς γαλαῖς, ἐμὲ δὲ οἱ ἐπελπίσαντες ἐν τῇ ἀγορᾷ περιμένουσι κεχηνότες ὥσπερ τὴν χελιδόνα προσπετομένην τετριγότες οἱ νεοττοί.
ZEUS Well, if he does not stop the hole—if the leak is more than temporary—you will run out in no time, and he can find his smock-frock and spade again in the dregs of the cask. Now go along, both of you, and make the man rich. And, Hermes, on your way back, remember to bring the Cyclopes with you from Etna; my thunderbolt wants the grindstone; and I have work for it as soon as it is sharp.
HERMES Come along, Plutus. Hullo! limping? My good man, I did not know you were lame as well as blind.
PLUTUS No, it is intermittent. As sure as Zeus sends me to any one, a sort of lethargy comes over me, my legs are like lead, and I can hardly get to my journey’s end; my destined host is sometimes an old man before I reach him. As a parting guest, on the other hand, you may see me wing my way swifter than any dream. ‘Are you ready?’ and almost before ‘Go’ has sounded, up goes my name as winner; I have flashed round the course absolutely unseen sometimes.
HERMES You are not quite keeping to the truth; I could name you plenty of people who yesterday had not the price of a halter to hang themselves with, and to-day have developed into lavish men of fortune; they drive their pair of high-steppers, whereas a donkey would have been beyond their means before. They go about in purple raiment with jewelled fingers, hardly convinced yet that their wealth is not all a dream.
Πλοῦτος ἐπειδὰν δὲ τὸ σημεῖον ἀφαιρεθῇ καὶ τὸ λίνον ἐντμηθῇ καὶ ἡ δέλτος ἀνοιχθῇ καὶ ἀνακηρυχθῇ μου ὁ καινὸς δεσπότης ἤτοι συγγενής τις ἢ κόλαξ ἢ καταπύγων οἰκέτης ἐκ παιδικῶν τίμιος, ὑπεξυρημένος ἔτι τὴν γνάθον, ἀντὶ ποικίλων καὶ παντοδαπῶν ἡδονῶν ἃς ἤδη ἔξωρος ὢν ὑπηρέτησεν αὐτῷ μέγα τὸ μίσθωμα ὁ γενναῖος ἀπολαβών, ἐκεῖνος μέν, ὅστις ἂν ᾖ ποτε, ἁρπασάμενός με αὐτῇ δέλτῳ θεῖ φέρων ἀντὶ τοῦ τέως Πυρρίου ἢ Δρόμωνος ἢ Τιβείου Μεγακλῆς ἢ Μεγάβυζος ἢ Πρώταρχος μετονομασθείς, τοὺς μάτην κεχηνότας ἐκείνους ἐς ἀλλήλους ἀποβλέποντας καταλιπὼν ἀληθὲς ἄγοντας τὸ πένθος, οἷος αὐτοὺς ὁ θύννος ἐκ μυχοῦ τῆς σαγήνης διέφυγεν οὐκ ὀλίγον τὸ δέλεαρ καταπιών.
Πλοῦτος ὁ δὲ ἐμπεσὼν ἀθρόος εἰς ἐμὲ ἀπειρόκαλος καὶ παχύδερμος ἄνθρωπος, ἔτι τὴν πέδην πεφρικὼς καὶ εἰ παριὼν ἄλλως μαστίξειέ τις ὄρθιον ἐφιστὰς τὸ οὖς καὶ τὸν μυλῶνα ὥσπερ τὸ Ἀνάκτορον προσκυνῶν, οὐκέτι φορητός ἐστι τοῖς ἐντυγχάνουσιν, ἀλλὰ τούς τε ἐλευθέρους ὑβρίζει καὶ τοὺς ὁμοδούλους μαστιγοῖ ἀποπειρώμενος εἰ καὶ αὐτῷ τὰ τοιαῦτα ἔξεστιν, ἄχρι ἂν ἢ ἐς πορνίδιόν τι ἐμπεσὼν ἢ ἱπποτροφίας ἐπιθυμήσας ἢ κόλαξι παραδοὺς ἑαυτὸν ὀμνύουσιν, ἦ μὴν εὐμορφότερον μὲν Νιρέως εἶναι αὐτόν, εὐγενέστερον δὲ τοῦ Κέκροπος ἢ Κόδρου, συνετώτερον δὲ τοῦ Ὀδυσσέως, πλουσιώτερον δὲ συνάμα Κροίσων ἑκκαίδεκα, ἐν ἀκαρεῖ τοῦ χρόνου ἄθλιος ἐκχέῃ τὰ κατʼ ὀλίγον ἐκ πολλῶν ἐπιορκιῶν καὶ ἁρπαγῶν καὶ πανουργιῶν συνειλεγμένα.
PLUTUS Ah, those are special cases, Hermes. I do not go on my own feet on those occasions, and it is not Zeus who sends me, but Pluto, who has his own ways of conferring wealth and making presents; Pluto and Plutus are not unconnected, you see. When I am to flit from one house to another, they lay me on parchment, seal me up carefully, make a parcel of me and take me round. The dead man lies in some dark corner, shrouded from the knees upward in an old sheet, with the cats fighting for possession of him, while those who have expectations wait for me in the public place, gaping as wide as young swallows that scream for their mother’s return.
Then the seal is taken off, the string cut, the parchment opened, and my new owner’s name made known. It is a relation, or a parasite, or perhaps a domestic minion, whose value lay in his vices and his smooth cheeks; he has continued to supply his master with all sorts of unnatural pleasures beyond the years which might excuse such service, and now the fine fellow is richly rewarded. But whoever it is, he snatches me up, parchment included, and is off with me in a flash; he used to be called Pyrrhias or Dromo or Tibius, but now he is Megacles, Megabyzus, or Protarchus; off he goes, leaving the disappointed ones staring at each other in very genuine mourning—over the fine fish which has jumped out of the landing-net after swallowing their good bait.
The fellow who has pounced on me has neither taste nor feeling; the sight of fetters still gives him a start; crack a whip in his neighbourhood, and his ears tingle; the treadmill is an abode of awe to him. He is now insufferable—insults his new equals, and whips his old fellows to see what that side of the transaction feels like. He ends by finding a mistress, or taking to the turf, or being cajoled by parasites; these have only to swear he is handsomer than Nireus, nobler than Cecrops or Codrus, wiser than Odysseus, richer than a dozen Croesuses rolled into one; and so the poor wretch disperses in a moment what cost so many perjuries, robberies, and swindles to amass.
Ἑρμῆς αὐτά που σχεδὸν φὴς τὰ γινόμενα· ὁπόταν δʼ οὖν αὐτόπους βαδίζῃς, πῶς οὕτω τυφλὸς ὢν εὑρίσκεις τὴν ὁδόν; ἢ πῶς διαγινώσκεις ἐφʼ οὓς ἄν σε ὁ Ζεὺς ἀποστείλῃ κρίνας εἶναι τοῦ πλουτεῖν ἀξίους;
Πλοῦτος οἴει γὰρ εὑρίσκειν με […] οἵτινές εἰσι; μὰ τὸν Δία οὐ πάνυ· οὐ γὰρ ἂν Ἀριστείδην καταλιπὼν Ἱππονίκῳ καὶ Καλλίᾳ προσῄειν καὶ πολλοῖς ἄλλοις Ἀθηναίων οὐδὲ ὀβολοῦ ἀξίοις.
Ἑρμῆς πλὴν ἀλλὰ τί πράττεις καταπεμφθείς;
Πλοῦτος ἄνω καὶ κάτω πλανῶμαι, περινοστῶν ἄχρι ἂν λάθω τινὶ ἐμπεσών· ὁ δέ, ὅστις ἂν πρῶτός μοι περιτύχῃ, ἀπαγαγὼν παρʼ αὑτὸν ἔχει, σὲ τὸν Ἑρμῆν ἐπὶ τῷ παραλόγῳ τοῦ κέρδους προσκυνῶν.
Ἑρμῆς οὐκοῦν ἐξηπάτηται ὁ Ζεὺς οἰόμενός σε κατὰ τὰ αὐτῷ δοκοῦντα πλουτίζειν ὅσους ἂν οἴηται τοῦ πλουτεῖν ἀξίους;
Πλοῦτος καὶ μάλα δικαίως, ὦγαθέ, ὅς γε τυφλὸν ὄντα εἰδὼς ἔπεμπεν ἀναζητήσοντα δυσεύρετον οὕτω χρῆμα καὶ πρὸ πολλοῦ ἐκλελοιπὸς ἐκ τοῦ βίου, ὅπερ οὐδʼ ὁ Λυγκεὺς ἂν ἐξεύροι ῥᾳδίως, ἀμαυρὸν οὕτω καὶ μικρὸν ὄν. τοιγαροῦν ἅτε τῶν μὲν ἀγαθῶν ὀλίγων ὄντων, πονηρῶν δὲ πλείστων ἐν ταῖς πόλεσι τὸ πᾶν ἐπεχόντων, ῥᾷον ἐς τοὺς τοιούτους ἐμπίπτω περιιὼν καὶ σαγηνεύομαι πρὸς αὐτῶν.
Ἑρμῆς εἶτα πῶς ἐπειδὰν καταλίπῃς αὐτοὺς ῥᾳδίως φεύγεις, οὐκ εἰδὼς τὴν ὁδόν;
Πλοῦτος Ὀξυδερκὴς τότε πως καὶ ἀρτίπους γίνομαι πρὸς μόνον τὸν καιρὸν τῆς φυγῆς.
HERMES A very fair picture. But when you go on your own feet, how can a blind man like you find the way? Zeus sends you to people who he thinks deserve riches; but how do you distinguish them?
PLUTUS Do you suppose I do find them? not much. I should scarcely have passed Aristides by, and gone to Hipponicus, Callias, and any number of other Athenians whose merits could have been valued in copper.
HERMES Well, but what do you do when he sends you?
PLUTUS I just wander up and down till I come across some one; the first comer takes me off home with him, and thanks—whom but the God of windfalls, yourself?
HERMES So Zeus is in error, and you do not enrich deserving persons according to his pleasure?
PLUTUS My dear fellow, how can he expect it? He knows I am blind, and he sends me groping about for a thing so hard to detect, and so nearly extinct this long time, that a Lynceus would have his work cut out spying for its dubious remains. So you see, as the good are few, and cities are crowded with multitudes of the bad, I am much more likely to come upon the latter in my rambles, and they keep me in their nets.
HERMES But when you are leaving them, how do you find escape so easy? you do not know the way.
PLUTUS Ah, there is just one occasion which brings me quickness of eye and foot; and that is flight.
Ἑρμῆς ἔτι δή μοι καὶ τοῦτο ἀπόκριναι, πῶς τυφλὸς ὤν — εἰρήσεται γάρ — καὶ προσέτι ὠχρὸς καὶ βαρὺς ἐκ τοῖν σκελοῖν τοσούτους ἐραστὰς ἔχεις, ὥστε πάντας ἀποβλέπειν εἰς σέ, καὶ τυχόντας μὲν εὐδαιμονεῖν οἴεσθαι, εἰ δὲ ἀποτύχοιεν οὐκ ἀνέχεσθαι ζῶντας; οἶδα γοῦν τινας οὐκ ὀλίγους αὐτῶν οὕτως σου δυσέρωτας ὄντας ὥστε καὶ ἐς βαθυκήτεα πόντον φέροντες ἔρριψαν αὑτοὺς καὶ πετρῶν κατʼ ἠλιβάτων, ὑπερορᾶσθαι νομίζοντες ὑπὸ σοῦ ὅτεπερ οὐδὲ τὴν ἀρχὴν ἑώρας αὐτούς. πλὴν ἀλλὰ καὶ σὺ ἂν εὖ οἶδα ὅτι ὁμολογήσειας, εἴ τι συνίης σαυτοῦ, κορυβαντιᾶν αὐτοὺς ἐρωμένῳ τοιούτῳ ἐπιμεμηνότας.
Πλοῦτος οἴει γὰρ τοιοῦτον οἷός εἰμι ὁρᾶσθαι αὐτοῖς, χωλὸν ἢ τυφλὸν ἢ ὅσα ἄλλα μοι πρόσεστιν;
Ἑρμῆς ἀλλὰ πῶς, ὦ Πλοῦτε, εἰ μὴ τυφλοὶ καὶ αὐτοι πάντες εἰσίν;
Πλοῦτος οὐ τυφλοί, ὦ ἄριστε, ἀλλʼ ἡ ἄγνοια καὶ ἡ ἀπάτη, αἵπερ νῦν κατέχουσι τὰ πάντα, ἐπισκιάζουσιν αὐτούς· ἔτι δὲ καὶ αὐτός, ὡς μὴ παντάπασιν ἄμορφος εἴην, προσωπεῖόν τι ἐρασμιώτατον περιθέμενος, διάχρυσον καὶ λιθοκόλλητον, καὶ ποικίλα ἐνδὺς ἐντυγχάνω αὐτοῖς· οἱ δὲ αὐτοπρόσωπον οἰόμενοι ὁρᾶν τὸ κάλλος ἐρῶσι καὶ ἀπόλλυνται μὴ τυγχάνοντες. ὡς εἴ γέ τις αὐτοῖς ὅλον ἀπογυμνώσας ἐπέδειξέ με, δῆλον ὡς κατεγίνωσκον ἂν αὑτῶν ἀμβλυώττοντες τὰ τηλικαῦτα καὶ ἐρῶντες ἀνεράστων καὶ ἀμόρφων πραγμάτων.
Ἑρμῆς τί οὖν ὅτι καὶ ἐν αὐτῷ ἤδη τῷ πλουτεῖν γενόμενοι καὶ τὸ προσωπεῖον αὐτοὶ περιθέμενοι ἔτι ἐξαπατῶνται, καὶ ἤν τις ἀφαιρῆται αὐτούς, θᾶττον ἂν τὴν κεφαλὴν ἢ τὸ προσωπεῖον πρόοιντο; οὐ γὰρ δὴ καὶ τότε ἀγνοεῖν εἰκὸς αὐτοὺς ὡς ἐπίχριστος ἡ εὐμορφία ἐστίν, ἔνδοθεν τὰ πάντα ὁρῶντας.
Πλοῦτος οὐκ ὀλίγα, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, καὶ πρὸς τοῦτό μοι συναγωνίζεται.
Ἑρμῆς τὰ ποῖα;
Πλοῦτος ἐπειδάν τις ἐντυχὼν τὸ πρῶτον ἀναπετάσας τὴν θύραν εἰσδέχηταί με, συμπαρεισέρχεται μετʼ ἐμοῦ λαθὼν ὁ τῦφος καὶ ἡ ἄνοια καὶ ἡ μεγαλαυχία καὶ μαλακία καὶ ὕβρις καὶ ἀπάτη καὶ ἄλλʼ ἄττα μυρία· ὑπὸ δὴ τούτων ἁπάντων καταληφθεὶς τὴν ψυχὴν θαυμάζει τε τὰ οὐ θαυμαστὰ καὶ ὀρέγεται τῶν φευκτῶν κἀμὲ τὸν πάντων ἐκείνων πατέρα τῶν εἰσεληλυθότων κακῶν τέθηπε δορυφορούμενον ὑπʼ αὐτῶν, καὶ πάντα πρότερον πάθοι ἂν ἢ ἐμὲ προέσθαι ὑπομείνειεν ἄν.
HERMES Yet another question. You are not only blind (excuse my frankness), but pallid and decrepit; how comes it, then, that you have so many lovers? All men’s looks are for you; if they get possession of you, they count themselves happy men; if they miss you, life is not worth living. Why, I have known not a few so sick for love of you that they have scaled some sky-pointing crag, and thence hurled themselves to unplumbed ocean depths, when they thought they were scorned by you, because you would not acknowledge their first salute. I am sure you know yourself well enough to confess that they must be lunatics, to rave about such charms as yours.
PLUTUS Why, you do not suppose they see me in my true shape, lame, blind, and so forth?
HERMES How else, unless they are all as blind themselves?
PLUTUS They are not blind, my dear boy; but the ignorant misconceptions now so prevalent obscure their vision. And then I contribute; not to be an absolute fright when they see me, I put on a charming mask, all gilt and jewels, and dress myself up. They take the mask for my face, fall in love with its beauty, and are dying to possess it. If any one were to strip and show me to them naked, they would doubtless reproach themselves for their blindness in being captivated by such an ugly misshapen creature,
HERMES How about fruition, then? When they are rich, and have put the mask on themselves, they are still deluded; if any one tries to take it off, they would sooner part with their heads than with it; and it is not likely they do not know by that time that the beauty is adventitious, now that they have an inside view.
PLUTUS There too I have powerful allies.
HERMES Namely—?
PLUTUS When a man makes my acquaintance, and opens the door to let me in, there enter unseen by my side Arrogance, Folly, Vainglory, Effeminacy, Insolence, Deceit, and a goodly company more. These possess his soul; he begins to admire mean things, pursues what he should abhor, reveres me amid my bodyguard of the insinuating vices which I have begotten, and would consent to anything sooner than part with me.
HERMES What a smooth, slippery, unstable, evasive fellow you are, Plutus! there is no getting a firm hold of you; you wriggle through one’s fingers somehow, like an eel or a snake. Poverty is so different—sticky, clinging, all over hooks; any one who comes near her is caught directly, and finds it no simple matter to get clear. But all this gossip has put business out of our heads.
Ἑρμῆς ὡς δὲ λεῖος εἶ καὶ ὀλισθηρός, ὦ Πλοῦτε, καὶ δυσκάτοχος καὶ διαφευκτικός, οὐδεμίαν ἀντιλαβὴν παρεχόμενος βεβαίαν ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ αἱ ἐγχέλεις ἢ οἱ ὄφεις διὰ τῶν δακτύλων δραπετεύεις οὐκ οἶδα ὅπως· ἡ Πενία δʼ ἔμπαλιν ἰξώδης τε καὶ εὐλαβὴς καὶ μυρία τὰ ἄγκιστρα ἐκπεφυκότα ἐξ ἅπαντος τοῦ σώματος ἔχουσα, ὡς πλησιάσαντας εὐθὺς ἔχεσθαι καὶ μὴ ἔχειν ῥᾳδίως ἀπολυθῆναι. ἀλλὰ μεταξὺ φλυαροῦντας ἡμᾶς πρᾶγμα ἤδη οὐ μικρὸν διέλαθε.
Πλοῦτος τὸ ποῖον;
Ἑρμῆς ὅτι τὸν Θησαυρὸν οὐκ ἐπηγαγόμεθα, οὗπερ ἔδει μάλιστα.
Πλοῦτος θάρρει τούτου γε ἕνεκα· ἐν τῇ γῇ αὐτὸν ἀεὶ καταλείπων ἀνέρχομαι πρὸς ὑμᾶς ἐπισκήψας ἔνδον μένειν ἐπικλεισάμενον τὴν θύραν, ἀνοίγειν δὲ μηδενί, ἢν μὴ ἐμοῦ ἀκούσῃ βοήσαντος.
Ἑρμῆς οὐκοῦν ἐπιβαίνωμεν ἤδη τῆς Ἀττικῆς· καί μοι ἕπου ἐχόμενος τῆς χλαμύδος, ἄχρι ἂν πρὸς τὴν ἐσχατιὰν ἀφίκωμαι.
Πλοῦτος εὖ ποιεῖς, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, χειραγωγῶν· ἐπεὶ ἤν γε ἀπολίπῃς με, Ὑπερβόλῳ τάχα ἢ Κλέωνι ἐμπεσοῦμαι περινοστῶν. ἀλλὰ τίς ὁ ψόφος οὗτός ἐστιν καθάπερ σιδήρου πρὸς λίθον;
Ἑρμῆς ὁ Τίμων οὑτοσὶ σκάπτει πλησίον ὀρεινὸν καὶ ὑπόλιθον γήδιον. παπαί, καὶ ἡ Πενία πάρεστι καὶ ὁ Πόνος ἐκεῖνος, ἡ Καρτερία τε καὶ ἡ Σοφία καὶ ἡ Ἀνδρεία καὶ ὁ τοιοῦτος ὄχλος τῶν ὑπὸ τῷ Λιμῷ ταττομένων ἁπάντων, πολὺ ἀμείνους τῶν σῶν δορυφόρων.
Πλοῦτος τί οὖν οὐκ ἀπαλλαττόμεθα, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, τὴν ταχίστην; οὐ γὰρ ἄν τι ἡμεῖς δράσαιμεν ἀξιόλογον πρὸς ἄνδρα ὑπὸ τηλικούτου στρατοπέδου περιεσχημένον.
Ἑρμῆς ἄλλως ἔδοξε τῷ Διί· μὴ ἀποδειλιῶμεν οὖν.
Πενία ποῖ τοῦτον ἀπάγεις, ὦ Ἀργειφόντα, χειραγωγῶν;
Ἑρμῆς ἐπὶ τουτονὶ τὸν Τίμωνα ἐπέμφθημεν ὑπὸ τοῦ Διός.
Πενία νῦν ὁ Πλοῦτος ἐπὶ Τίμωνα, ὁπότε αὐτὸν ἐγὼ κακῶς ἔχοντα ὑπὸ τῆς Τρυφῆς παραλαβοῦσα, τουτοισὶ παραδοῦσα, τῇ Σοφίᾳ καὶ τῷ Πόνῳ, γενναῖον ἄνδρα καὶ πολλοῦ ἄξιον ἀπέδειξα; οὕτως ἄρα εὐκαταφρόνητος ὑμῖν ἡ Πενία δοκῶ καὶ εὐαδίκητος, ὥσθʼ ὃ μόνον κτῆμα εἶχον ἀφαιρεῖσθαί με, ἀκριβῶς πρὸς ἀρετὴν ἐξειργασμένον, ἵνα αὖθις ὁ Πλοῦτος παραλαβὼν αὐτὸν Ὕβρει καὶ Τύφῳ ἐγχειρίσας ὅμοιον τῷ πάλαι μαλθακὸν καὶ ἀγεννῆ καὶ ἀνόητον ἀποφήνας ἀποδῷ πάλιν ἐμοὶ ῥάκος ἤδη γεγενημένον;
Ἑρμῆς ἔδοξε ταῦτα, ὦ Πενία, τῷ Διί·
PLUTUS Business? What business?
HERMES We have forgotten to bring Thesaurus, and we cannot do without him.
PLUTUS Oh, never mind him. When I come up to see you, I leave him on earth, with strict orders to stay indoors, and open to no one unless he hears my voice.
HERMES Then we may make our way into Attica; hold on to my cloak till I find Timon’s retreat.
PLUTUS It is just as well to keep touch; if you let me drop behind, I am as likely as not to be snapped up by Hyperbolus or Cleon. But what is that noise? it sounds like iron on stone.
HERMES Ah, here is Timon close to us; what a steep stony little plot he has got to dig! Good gracious, I see Poverty and Toil in attendance, Endurance, Wisdom, Courage, and Hunger’s whole company in full force—much more efficient than your guards, Plutus.
PLUTUS Oh dear, let us make the best of our way home, Hermes. We shall never produce any impression on a man surrounded by such troops.
HERMES Zeus thought otherwise; so no cowardice.
POVERTY Slayer of Argus, whither away, you two hand in hand?
HERMES Zeus has sent us to Timon here.
POVERTY Now? What has Plutus to do with Timon now? I found him suffering under Luxury’s treatment, put him in the charge of Wisdom and Toil (whom you see here), and made a good worthy man of him. Do you take me for such a contemptible helpless creature that you can rob me of my little all? have I perfected him in virtue, only to see Plutus take him, trust him to Insolence and Arrogance, make him as soft and limp and silly as before, and return him to me a worn-out rag again?
Cite This Text