CHORUS
Step strong! March along! But search and scan if any man be somewhere following in our rear. Look out! Wheel about! And O be sure that all’s secure; for many are the rogues, I fear. Lest someone, coming up behind us, in this ungodly guise should find us. Be sure you make a clattering sound with both your feet against the ground. For dismal shame and scandal great Will everywhere upon us wait, if our disguise they penetrate. So wrap your garments round you tight, And peep about with all your might, Both here and there and on your right,
CHORUS Or this our plot to save the State will in disaster terminate. Move on, dear friends, move on apace, for now we’re very near the place From whence we started, when we went to join the men in Parliament. And there’s the mansion, full in view, where dwells our lady chieftain, who The wise and noble scheme invented to which the State has just assented. So now no longer must we stay, no longer while the time away, False-bearded with this bristly hair, Lest someone see us and declare our hidden secret everywhere. So draw ye closer, at my call, Beneath the shadow of the wall, And glancing sideways, one and all, Adjust and change your dresses there, and bear the form which erst ye bare. For see the noble lady fair, our chieftainess, approaching there. She’s coming home with eager speed from yon Assembly; take ye heed, And loathe upon your chins to wear that monstrous equipage of hair;
PRAXAGORA Get these in order: I myself will steal Into the house, and ere my husband see me, Put back his overcloak, unnoticed, where I found it, and whatever else I took.
CHORUS We have done your behest, and as touching the rest. We will do whatsoever you tell us is best. For truly I ween that a woman so keen, Resourceful and subtle we never have seen.
PRAXAGORA Then all by my side, as the councillors tried Of the office I hold, be content to abide; For there, in the fuss and the hullabaloo, Ye proved yourselves women most manly and true.
BLEPYRUS Hallo, Praxagora, whence come you?
PRAXAGORA What’s that To you, my man?
BLEPYRUS What’s that to me? That’s cool.
PRAXAGORA Not from a lover; that you know.
BLEPYRUS Perchance From more than one.
PRAXAGORA That you can test, directly.
BLEPYRUS Marry and how?
PRAXAGORA Smell if my hair is perfumed.
BLEPYRUS Does not a woman sin unless she’s perfumed?
PRAXAGORA I don’t, at all events.
BLEPYRUS What made you steal Away so early with my overcloak?
PRAXAGORA I was called out ere daybreak, to a friend In pangs of childbirth.
BLEPYRUS Why not tell me first, Before you went?
PRAXAGORA Not haste to help her in Such straits, my husband?
BLEPYRUS After telling me. Something’s wrong there.
PRAXAGORA Nay, by the Twain, I went Just as I was; the wench who came besought me To lose no time.
BLEPYRUS Is that the reason why You did not put your mantle on? You threw it Over my bed and took my overcloak, And left me lying like a corpse laid out; Only I’d never a wreath, or bottle of oil.
PRAXAGORA The night was cold, and I’m so slight and fragile, I took your overcloak to keep me warm. And you I left well snuggled up in warmth And rugs, my husband.
BLEPYRUS How came my staff to form One of your party, and my red Laconians?
PRAXAGORA I took your shoes to save your overcloak; Aping your walk, stumping with both my feet, And striking down your staff against the stones.
BLEPYRUS You’ve lost eight quarts of wheat, I’d have you know, Which the Assembly would have brought me in.
PRAXAGORA Well, never mind; she’s got a bonny boy.
BLEPYRUS Who? the Assembly has?
PRAXAGORA No, fool, the woman. But has it met?
BLEPYRUS I told you yesterday ’Twas going to meet.
PRAXAGORA O yes, I now remember.
BLEPYRUS Have you not heard then what’s decreed?
PRAXAGORA No, dear
BLEPYRUS Then sit you down and chew your cuttlefish. The State, they say, is handed over to you!
PRAXAGORA What for? To weave? No, govern.
PRAXAGORA Govern what?
BLEPYRUS All the whole work and business of the State.
PRAXAGORA O here’s a lucky State, by Aphrodite, We’re going to have!
BLEPYRUS How so?
PRAXAGORA For many reasons. For now no longer shall bold men be free To shame the city: no more witnessing, No false informing—
BLEPYRUS Hang it, don’t do that. Don’t take away my only means of living!
CHREMES Pray, sir, be still, and let the lady speak.
PRAXAGORA No thefts of overcloaks, no envyings now, None to be poor and naked any more. No wranglings, no distraining on your goods.
CHREMES Now, by Poseidon, wondrous news if true.
PRAXAGORA Aye and I’ll prove it, so that you’ll support me, And he himself have nought to say against it.
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