PRAXAGORA
O glowing visage of the earthen lamp, On this conspicuous eminence well-hung,— (For through thy fates and lineage will we go, Thou, who, by whirling wheel of potter moulded, Dost with thy nozzle do the sun’s bright duty)— Awake the appointed signal of the flame! Thou only knowest it, and rightly thou, For thou alone, within our chambers standing, Watchest unblamed the mysteries of love. Thine eye, inspector of our amorous sports, Beholdeth all, and no one saith Begone! Thou comest, singeing, purifying all The dim recesses which none else may see; And when the garners, stored with corn and wine, By stealth we open, thou dost stand beside us. And though thou knowest all this, thou dost not peach.
PRAXAGORA Therefore our plans will we confide to thee, What at the Scira we resolved to do. Ah, but there’s no one here who should be here. Yet doth it draw towards daybreak; and the Assembly Full soon will meet; and we frail womankind Must take the seats Phyromachus assigned us (You don’t forget) and not attract attention. What can the matter be? Perchance their beards Are not stitched on, as our decree commanded, Perchance they found it difficult to steal Their husband’s garments. Stay! I see a lamp Moving this way. I will retire and watch, Lest it should haply be some man approaching!
FIRST WOMAN It is the hour to start. As I was coming I heard the herald give his second—crow.
PRAXAGORA I have been waiting, watching for you all The whole night long; and now I summon forth My neighbour here, scratching her door so gently As not to rouse her husband.
SECOND WOMAN Yea, I heard (For I was up and putting on my shoes) The stealthy creeping of thy finger-nail.
SECOND WOMAN My husband, dear—a Salaminian he— Has all night long been tossing in his bed; Wherefore I could not steal his garb till now.
FIRST WOMAN O now they are coming! Here’s Cleinarete, Here’s Sostrata, and here’s Philaenete.
SEMICHORUS Come, hurry up: for Glyce vowed a vow That whosoever comes the last shall pay One quart of chickpeas and nine quarts of wine.
FIRST WOMAN And look! Melistiche, Smicythion’s wife, Wearing her husband’s shoes. She, only she, Has come away, methinks, at ease, unflurried.
SECOND WOMAN And look! Geusistrata, the tapster’s wife, In her right hand the torch.
PRAXAGORA And now the wives Of Philodoretus and Chaeretades, And many another, hurrying on I see, All that is best and worthiest in the town.
SEMICHORUS O honey, I’d tremendous work to come. My husband gorged his fill of sprats at supper, And he’s been cough, cough, coughing all night long.
PRAXAGORA Well, sit ye down, that I may ask you this, Now that ye’re all assembled: have ye done What at the Scira ’twas resolved to do?
FIRST WOMAN I have, for one. See, underneath my arms The hair is growing thicker than a copse, As ’twas agreed: and when my husband started
FIRST WOMAN Off to the market-place, I’d oil my body And stand all day decocting in the sun.
SECOND WOMAN I too have done it: flinging, first of all, The razor out of doors, that so my skin Might grow quite hairy, and unlike a woman.
PRAXAGORA But have ye got the beards, which, ’twas determined, Ye all should bring, assembling here to-day?
FIRST WOMAN I have, by Hecate! Look! a lovely one.
SECOND WOMAN And I, much lovelier than Epicrates’s.
PRAXAGORA And what say ye?
FIRST WOMAN They nod assent: they’ve got them.
PRAXAGORA The other matters, I perceive, are done. Laconian shoes ye’ve got, and walking-sticks, And the men’s overcloaks, as we desired you.
FIRST WOMAN O I’ve a splendid club I stole away (See, here it is) from Lamias as he slept.
PRAXAGORA O yes, I know: “the clubs he sweltered with.”
FIRST WOMAN By Zeus the Saviour, he’s the very man To don the skins the All-eyed herdsman wore, And, no man better, tend the—public hangman.
PRAXAGORA But now to finish what remains to do While yet the stars are lingering in the sky; For this Assembly, as you know, whereto We all are bound, commences with the dawn.
FIRST WOMAN And so it does: and we’re to seat ourselves Facing the prytanes, just below the speakers.
SECOND WOMAN See what I’ve brought, dear heart: I mean to do A little spinning while the Assembly fills.
PRAXAGORA Fills? miserable woman!
SECOND WOMAN Yes, why not? O I can spin and listen just as well. Besides, my little chicks have got no clothes.
PRAXAGORA Fancy you spinning! when you must not have The tiniest morsel of your person seen. ’Twere a fine scrape, if when the Assembly’s full, Some woman clambering o’er the seats, and throwing Her cloak awry, should show that she’s a woman. No, if we sit in front and gather round us Our husbands’ garments, none will find us out. Why, when we’ve got our flowing beards on there, Who that beholds us will suppose we’re women? Was not Agyrrhius erst a woman? Yet Now that he wears the beard of Pronomus, He passes for a man, a statesman too. O by yon dawning day, ’tis just for that, We women dare this daring deed to do, If we can seize upon the helm of state And trim the ship to weather through the storm; For neither sails nor oars avail it now. How can the female soul of womankind Address the Assembly?
PRAXAGORA Admirably well. Youths that are most effeminate, they say, Are always strongest in the speaking line; And we’ve got that by nature.
FIRST WOMAN Maybe so. Still inexperience is a serious matter.
PRAXAGORA And is not that the very reason why We’ve met together to rehearse the scene? Now do make haste and fasten on your beards, And all you others who have practised talking.
FIRST WOMAN Practised, indeed! can’t every woman talk?
PRAXAGORA Come, fasten on your beard, and be a man. I’ll lay these chaplets down, and do the same. Maybe I’ll make a little speech myself.
SECOND WOMAN O, here, sweet love, Praxagora: look, child! O what a merry joke this seems to me!
PRAXAGORA Joke! where’s the joke?
SECOND WOMAN ’Tis just as if we tied A shaggy beard to toasting cuttlefish.
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