ἐκ τούτου περὶ τῶν τόπων ἐνέπεσε ζήτησις. ἄλλοι γὰρ ἄλλοις ἔντιμοι, Πέρσαις μὲν ὁ μεσαίτατος ἐφʼ οὗ κατακλίνεται βασιλεύς, Ἕλλησι δʼ ὁ πρῶτος, Ῥωμαίοις δʼ ὁ τῆς μέσης κλίνης τελευταῖος ὃν ὑπατικὸν προσαγορεύουσι· τῶν δὲ περὶ τὸν Πόντον Ἑλλήνων ἐνίοις , ὥσπερ Ἡρακλεώταις, ἔμπαλιν ὁ τῆς μέσης πρῶτος. ἀλλὰ περὶ τοῦ γʼ ὑπατικοῦ λεγομένου μάλιστα διηποροῦμεν. οὗτος γὰρ ἐπρώτευε τῇ τιμῇ καθʼ ἡμᾶς καὶ τὴν αἰτίαν οὔθʼ ὡς ὁ πρῶτος οὔθʼ ὡς ὁ μέσος εἶχε νενομισμένην ἔτι καὶ τῶν συμβεβηκότων αὐτῷ τὰ μὲν οὐκ ἦν ἴδια τούτου μόνου, τὰ δʼ οὐδεμιᾶς ἄξια σπουδῆς ἐφαίνετο. πλὴν τρία γε τῶν λεχθέντων ἐκίνει, πρῶτον μὲν ὅτι τοὺς βασιλεῖς καταλύσαντες οἱ ὕπατοι καὶ πρὸς τὸ δημοτικώτερον ἅπαντα μετακοσμήσαντες ἐκ τῆς μέσης καὶ βασιλικῆς χώρας ὑπῆγον αὑτοὺς κάτω συγχωροῦντες, ὡς μηδὲ τοῦτο τῆς ἀρχῆς αὐτῶν καὶ ἐξουσίας ἐπαχθὲς εἴη τοῖς συνοῦσι· δεύτερον δʼ ὅτι, τῶν δυεῖν κλινῶν ἀποδεδομένων τοῖς παρακεκλημένοις, ἡ τρίτη καὶ ταύτης ὁ πρῶτος τόπος μάλιστα τοῦ ἑστιῶντός ἐστιν ἐνταῦθα γὰρ ὥσπερ ἡνίοχος ἢ κυβερνήτης ἐπὶ δεξιὰ πρὸς τὴν ἐπίβλεψιν ἐξικνεῖται τῆς ὑπηρεσίας, καὶ τοῦ φιλοφρονεῖσθαι καὶ διαλέγεσθαι τοῖς παροῦσιν οὐκ ἀπήρτηται τῶν συνέγγιστα τόπων· ὁ μὲν γὰρ ὑπʼ αὐτὸν ἢ γυναικὸς ἢ παίδων ἐστίν, ὁ δʼ ὑπὲρ αὐτὸν εἰκότως τῷ μάλιστα τιμωμένῳ τῶν κεκλημένων ἀπεδόθη, ἵνʼ ἐγγὺς τοῦ ἑστιῶντος. τρίτον δʼ ἔχειν ἴδιον οὗτος ὁ τόπος ἐδόκει τὸ πρὸς τὴν πρᾶξιν εὐφυές· οὐ γάρ ἐστιν ὁ τῶν Ῥωμαίων ὕπατος οἷος Ἀρχίας ὁ Θηβαίων πολέμαρχος, ὥστε, γραμμάτων ἢ λόγων αὐτῷ μεταξὺ δειπνοῦντι φροντίδος ἀξίων προσπεσόντων, ἐπιφθεγξάμενος εἰς ἕω τὰ σπουδαῖα τὴν μὲν ἐπιστολὴν παρῶσαι λαβεῖν δὲ τὴν θηρίκλειον· ἀλλὰ μάλʼ ἐμμεμαὼς καὶ περιεσκεμμένος ἐν τοῖς τοιούτοις καιροῖς. οὐ γὰρ μόνον ὠδῖνα τίκτει νὺξ κυβερνήτῃ σοφῷ κατὰ τὸν Αἰσχύλον, ἀλλὰ καὶ πότου πᾶσα καὶ ἀνέσεως ἡδονὴ στρατηγῷ καὶ ἄρχοντι φροντίδος ἄξιόν ἐστιν· ἵνα τοίνυν ἀκοῦσαὶ θʼ ἃ δεῖ καὶ προστάξαι καὶ ὑπογράψαι δύνηται, τοῦτον ἐξαίρετον ἔχει τὸν τόπον· ἐν ᾧ τῆς δευτέρας κλίνης τῇ τρίτῃ συναπτούσης, ἡ γωνία διάλειμμα ποιοῦσα τῇ καμπῇ δίδωσι καὶ γραμματεῖ καὶ ὑπηρέτῃ καὶ φύλακι σώματος; καὶ ἀγγέλῳ τῶν ἀπὸ στρατοπέδου προσελθεῖν, διαλεχθῆναι, πυθέσθαι, μήτε τινὸς ἐνοχλοῦντος αὐτῷ μήτε τινὸς ἐνοχλουμένου τῶν συμποτῶν, ἀλλὰ καὶ χεῖρα καὶ φωνὴν ὑπερδέξιον ἔχοντι καὶ ἀκώλυτον.
THIS raised a dispute about the dignity of places, for the same place is not accounted honorable amongst all nations; in Persia the midst, for that is the place proper to the king himself; in Greece the uppermost; at Rome the lowermost of the middle bed, and this is called the consular; the Greeks about Pontus, as those of Heraclea, reckon the uppermost of the middle bed to be the chief. But we were most puzzled about the place called consular; for though it is esteemed most honorable, yet it is not for any well-defined reason, as if it were either the first or the midst; and its other circumstances are either not proper to that alone, or very frivolous. Though I confess three of the reasons alleged seemed to have something in them. The first was, that the consuls, having dissolved the monarchy, and reduced every thing to a more equal level and popular estate, left the middle, the kingly place, and sat in a lower seat; that by this means their power and authority might be less subject to envy, and not so grievous to their fellow-citizens. The second was, that, two beds being appointed for the invited guests, the third—and the first place in this—is most convenient for the master of the feast, whence, like a coachman or a pilot, he can guide and order every thing, and readily overlook the management of the whole affair. Besides, he is not so far removed but that he may easily discourse, talk to, and compliment his guests; for next below him his wife and children usually are placed; next above him the most honorable of the invited, that being the most proper place, as near the master of the feast. The third reason was, that it is peculiar to this place to be most convenient for the despatch of any sudden business; for the Roman consul is not such a one as Archias the governor of Thebes, so as to say, when letters of importance are brought to him at dinner, serious things to-morrow, and then throw aside the packet and take the great bowl; but he will be careful, circumspect, and mind it at that very instant. For not only (as the common saying hath it) Each throw doth make the skilful dicer fear, but even midst his feasting and his pleasure a magistrate should be intent on intervening business; and he hath this place appointed, as the most convenient for him to receive any message, answer it, or sign a bill; for there the second bed joining with the third, the turning at the corner leaves a vacant space, so that a notary, servant, guardsman, or a messenger from the army might approach, deliver the message, and receive commands; and the consul, having room enough to speak or use his hand, neither troubles any one, nor is hindered by any of the guests.
Κράτων ὁ γαμβρὸς ἡμῶν καὶ Θέων ὁ ἑταῖρος ἔν τινι πότῳ παροινίας ἀρχὴν λαβούσης εἶτα παυσαμένης, λόγον ἐποιήσαντο περὶ τῆς συμποσιαρχίας, οἰόμενοί με δεῖν στεφανηφοροῦντα μὴ περιιδεῖν ἔθος ἐκλειφθὲν παντάπασιν, ἀλλʼ ἀνακαλεῖν καὶ καταστῆσαι πάλιν τῆς ἀρχῆς τὴν νενομισμένην ἐπιστασίαν περὶ τὰ συμπόσια καὶ διακόσμησιν. ἐδόκει δὲ ταῦτα καὶ τοῖς ἄλλοις, ὥστε θόρυβον ἐκ πάντων καὶ παράκλησιν γενέσθαι. ἐπεὶ τοίνυν ἔφην ἐγὼ δοκεῖ ταῦτα πᾶσιν, ἐμαυτὸν αἱροῦμαι συμποσίαρχον ὑμῶν καὶ κελεύω τοὺς μὲν ἄλλους, ὡς βούλονται, πίνειν ἐν τῷ παρόντι, Κράτωνα δὲ καὶ Θέωνα, τοὺς εἰσηγητὰς καὶ νομοθέτας τοῦ δόγματος, ἒν τινι τύπῳ βραχέως διελθεῖν, ὁποῖον ὄντα δεῖ τὸν συμποσίαρχον αἱρεῖσθαι, καὶ τί ποιούμενος τέλος ὁ αἱρεθεὶς ἄρξει, καὶ πῶς χρήσεται τοῖς κατὰ συμπόσιον· διελέσθαι δὲ τὸν λόγον αὐτοῖς ἐπιτρέπω.
CRATO a relative of ours, and Theon my acquaintance, at a certain banquet, where the glasses had gone round freely, and a little stir arose but was suddenly appeased, began to discourse of the office of the steward of a feast; declaring that it was my duty to wear the chaplet, assert the decaying privilege, and restore that office which should take care for the decency and good order of the banquet. This proposal pleased every one, and they were all an end begging me to do it. Well then, said I, since you will have it so, I make myself steward and director of you all, and command the rest of you to drink every one what he will, but Crato and Theon, the first proposers and authors of this decree, I enjoin to declare in short what qualifications fit a man for this office, what he should principally aim at, and how behave himself towards those under his command. This is the subject, and let them agree amongst themselves which head each shall manage.
μικρὰ μὲν οὖν ἠκκίσαντο παραιτούμενοι· κελευόντων δὲ πάντων πείθεσθαι τῷ ἄρχοντι καὶ ποιεῖν τὸ προσταττόμενον, ἔφη πρότερος ὁ Κράτων, ὅτι δεῖ τὸν μὲν φυλάκων ἄρχοντα φυλακικώτατον, ὥς φησιν ὁ Πλάτων, εἶναι· τὸν δὲ συμποτῶν συμποτικώτατον. ἔστι δὲ τοιοῦτος, ἂν μήτε τῷ μεθύειν εὐάλωτος μήτε πρὸς τὸ πίνειν ἀπρόθυμος· ἀλλʼ ὡς ὁ Κῦρος ἔλεγε πρὸς Λακεδαιμονίους γράφων, ὅτι τὰ τʼ ἄλλα τοῦ ἀδελφοῦ βασιλικώτερος εἴη καὶ φέροι καλῶς πολὺν ἄκρατον. ὅ τε γὰρ παροινῶν ὑβριστὴς καὶ ἀσχήμων, ὃ τʼ αὖ παντάπασι νήφων ἀηδὴς καὶ παιδαγωγεῖν μᾶλλον ἢ συμποσιαρχεῖν ἐπιτήδειος. ὁ μὲν οὖν Περικλῆς, ὁσάκις ᾑρημένος στρατηγὸς ἀναλαμβάνοι τὴν χλαμύδα, πρῶτος εἰώθει διαλέγεσθαι πρὸς αὑτὸν ὥσπερ ὑπομιμνήσκων ὅρα, Περίκλεις ἐλευθέρων ἄρχεις, Ἑλλήνων ἄρχεις, Ἀθηναίων ἄρχεις. ὁ δὲ συμποσίαρχος ἡμῶν ἐκεῖνα λεγέτω πρὸς αὑτὸν φίλων ἄρχεις, ἵνα μήτʼ ἀσχημονεῖν ἐπιτρέπῃ μήτε τὰς ἡδονὰς ἀφαιρῇ. δεῖ δὲ καὶ σπουδῆς τὸν ἄρχοντα πινόντων οἰκεῖον εἶναι καὶ παιδιᾶς μὴ ἀλλότριον, ἀλλʼ εὖ πως συγκεκραμένον πρὸς ἀμφότερα, σμικρῷ δὲ μᾶλλον, ὥσπερ οἶνον ἀστεῖον, ἀπονεύοντα τῇ φύσει πρὸς τὸ αὐστηρόν· ὁ γὰρ οἶνος ἄξει τὸ ἦθος εἰς τὸ μέτριον μαλακώτερον ποιῶν καὶ ἀνυγραίνων. ὥσπερ γὰρ ὁ Ξενοφῶν ἔλεγε τοῦ Κλεάρχου τὸ σκυθρωπὸν καὶ ἄγροικον ἄλλως ἐν ταῖς μάχαις ἡδὺ καὶ φαιδρὸν ἐπιφαίνεσθαι διὰ τὸ θαρραλέον οὕτως ὁ μὴ φύσει πικρὸς ἀλλὰ σεμνὸς καὶ αὐστηρός, ἐν τῷ πίνειν ἀνιέμενος ἡδίων γίγνεται καὶ προσφιλέστερος, ἔτι τοίνυν αὐτῷ δεῖ προσεῖναι τὸ μάλιστα μὲν ἑκάστου τῶν συμποτῶν ἐμπείρως ἔχειν, τίνα λαμβάνει μεταβολὴν ἐν οἴνῳ καὶ πρὸς τί πάθος ἀκροσφαλής ἐστι καὶ πῶς φέρει τὸν ἄκρατον. οὐ γὰρ οἴνου μὲν ἔστι πρὸς ὕδωρ ἑτέρου ἑτέρα μῖξις, ἣν οἱ βασιλικοὶ γιγνώσκοντες οἰνοχόοι νῦν μὲν πλέον νῦν δʼ ἔλαττον ὑποχέουσιν· ἀνθρώπου δὲ πρὸς οἶνον οὐκ ἔστʼ ἰδία κρᾶσις ἣν τῷ συμποσιάρχῳ γιγνώσκειν προσήκει καὶ γιγνώσκοντι φυλάττειν, ἵνʼ ὥσπερ ἁρμονικὸς τὸν μὲν ἐπιτείνων τῇ πόσει τὸν δʼ ἀνιεὶς καὶ ὑποφειδόμενος, εἰς ὁμαλότητα καὶ συμφωνίαν ἐκ διαφορᾶς καταστήσῃ τὰς φύσεις· ὅπως μὴ κοτύλῃ μηδὲ κυάθοις τὸ ἴσον, ἀλλὰ καιροῦ τινι μέτρῳ καὶ σώματος δυνάμει τὸ οἰκεῖον ἑκάστῳ καὶ πρόσφορον ἀπονέμηται. εἰ δὲ τοῦτό δύσκολον, ἐκεῖνα γε πάντως ἐξειδέναι τῷ συμποσιάρχῳ προσήκει, τὰ κοινὰ περὶ τὰς φύσεις καὶ τὰς ἡλικίας· οἷον πρεσβῦται τάχιον μεθύσκονται νέων, σαλευόμενοι δʼ ἠρεμούντων, ἔλλυποι δὲ γιγνώσκων ἄν τις μᾶλλον τοῦ ἀγνοοῦντος εὐσχημοσύνην καὶ ὁμόνοιαν συμποσίου πρυτανεύσειε. καὶ μὴν ὅτι γε δεῖ τὸν συμποσίαρχον οἰκείως ἔχειν καὶ φιλικῶς πρὸς ἅπαντας ὕπουλον δὲ μηδενὶ μηδʼ ἀπεχθῆ τῶν ἑστιωμένων εἶναι, παντί που δῆλον οὔτε γὰρ ἐπιτάττων ἀνεκτὸς οὔτʼ ἀπονέμων ἴσος οὔτε προσπαίζων ὅμως ἀνέγκλητος ἔσται. τοιοῦτον ἔφησοι, Θέων, ἐγὼ τὸν ἄρχοντα συμποσίου πλάσας ὥσπερ ἐκ κηροῦ τοῦ λόγου παραδίδωμι.
They made some slight excuse at first; but the whole company urging them to obey, Crato began thus. A captain of a watch (as Plato says) ought to be most watchful and diligent himself, and the director of merry companions ought to be the best. And such a one he is, that will not be easily overtaken or apt to refuse a glass; but as Cyrus in his epistle to the Spartans says, that in many other things he was more fit than his brother to be a king, and chiefly because he could bear abundance of wine. For one that is drunk must have an ill carriage and be apt to affront; and he that is perfectly sober, must be unpleasant, and fitter to be a governor of a school than of a feast. Pericles, as often as he was chosen general, when he first put on his cloak, used to say to himself, as it were to refresh his memory, Take heed, Pericles, thou dost govern freemen, thou dost govern Greeks, thou dost govern Athenians. So let our director say privately to himself, Thou art a governor over friends, that he may remember to neither suffer them to be debauched nor stint their mirth. Besides, he ought to have some skill in the serious studies of the guests, and not be altogether ignorant of mirth and humor; yet I would have him (as pleasant wine ought to be) a little severe and rough, for the liquor will soften and smooth him, and make his temper pleasant and agreeable. For as Xenophon says, that Clearchus’s rustic and morose humor in a battle, by reason of his bravery and heat, seemed pleasant and surprising; thus one that is not of a very sour nature, but grave and severe, being softened by a chirping cup, becomes more pleasant and complaisant. But chiefly he should be acquainted with every one of the guests’ humors, what alteration the liquor makes in him, what passion he is most subject to, and what quantity he can bear; for it is not to be supposed the water bears various proportions to different sorts of wine (which kings’ cup-bearers understanding sometimes pour in more, sometimes less), and that man hath no such relation to them. This our director ought to know, and knowing, punctually observe; so that like a good musician, screwing up one and letting down another, he may make between these different natures a pleasing harmony and agreement; so that he shall not proportion his wine by measure, but give every one what was proper and agreeable, according to the present circumstances of time and strength of body. But if this is too difficult a task, yet it is necessary that a steward should know the common accidents of age and nature, such as these,—that an old man will be sooner overtaken than a youth, one that leaps about or talks sooner than he that is silent or sits still, the thoughtful and melancholy sooner than the cheerful and the brisk. And he that understands these things is much more able to preserve quietness and order, than one that is perfectly ignorant and unskilful. Besides, I think none will doubt but that the steward ought to be a friend, and have no pique at any of the guests; for otherwise in his injunctions he will be intolerable, in his distributions unequal, in his jests apt to scoff and give offence. Such a figure, Theon, as out of wax, hath my discourse framed for the steward of a feast; and now I deliver him to you.
καὶ ὁ Θέων ἀλλὰ δέχομαι μέν εἶπεν οὕτω μᾶλλον ἀπειργασμένον τὸν ἄνδρα καὶ συμποτικόν· εἰ δὲ χρήσομαι κατὰ πᾶν αὐτῷ καὶ μὴ καταισχυνῶ τοὔργον, οὐκ οἶδα· κοσμιώτατον δέ μοι δοκεῖ τοιοῦτος ὢν τὸ συμπόσιον διαφυλάξειν ἡμῖν καὶ μὴ περιόψεσθαι νῦν μὲν ἐκκλησίαν δημοκρατικὴν νῦν δὲ σχολὴν σοφιστοῦ γενομένην αὖθις δὲ κυβευτήριον, εἶτά που σκηνὴν καὶ θυμέλην. ἢ γὰρ οὐχ ὁρᾶτε τοὺς μὲν δημαγωγοῦντας καὶ δικαζομένους παρὰ δεῖπνον, τοὺς δὲ μελετῶντας καὶ ἀναγιγνώσκοντας αὑτῶν τινα συγγράμματα, τοὺς δὲ μίμοις καὶ ὀρχησταῖς ἀγωνοθετοῦντας; Ἀλκιβιάδης δὲ καὶ Θεόδωρος τελεστήριον ἐποίησαν τὸ Πολυτίωνος συμπόσιον, ἀπομιμούμενοι δᾳδουχίας καὶ ἱεροφαντίας. ὧν οὐδὲν οἶμαι τῷ ἄρχοντι περιοπτέον· ἀλλὰ καὶ λόγοις καὶ θεάμασι καὶ παιδιαῖς δώσει τόπον ἐκείνοις μόνοις, ὅσα πρὸς τὸ συμποτικὸν τέλος ἐξικνεῖται· τοῦτο δʼ ἦν φιλίας ἐπίτασιν ἢ γένεσιν διʼ ἡδονῆς ἐνεργάσασθαι τοῖς παροῦσι· διαγωγὴ γάρ ἐστιν ἐν οἴνῳ τὸ συμπόσιον εἰς φιλίαν ὑπὸ χάριτος τελευτῶσα. ἐπεὶ δὲ πανταχοῦ τὸ πλήσμιον καὶ πολλαχοῦ βλαβερὸν τὸ ἄκρατον, ἡ δὲ μῖξις, οἷς ἂν ἐν καιρῷ καὶ μετὰ μέτρου παραγένηται πράγμασιν, ἀφαιρεῖ τἄγαν, ᾧ καὶ βλάπτει τὰ ἡδέα καὶ λυπεῖ τὰ ὠφέλιμα· δῆλον ὅτι καὶ τοῖς πίνουσιν ὁ ἐπιστάτης μεμιγμένην τινὰ παρέξει διαγωγήν. ἀκούων οὖν πολλῶν λεγόντων, ὅτι πλοῦς μὲν ὁ παρὰ γῆν περίπατος; δʼ ὁ παρὰ θάλατταν ἣδιστός ἐστιν, οὕτω παραβαλεῖ τῇ σπουδῇ τὴν παιδιάν, ὅπως οἵ τε παίζοντες ἁμωσγέπως σπουδῆς τινος ἔχωνται καὶ πάλιν οἱ σπουδάζοντες ἀναθαρρῶσιν, ὥσπερ οἱ ναυτιῶντες ἐγγύθεν εἰς γῆν τὴν παιδιὰν ἀποβλέποντες. ἔστι γὰρ καὶ γέλωτι χρῆσθαι πρὸς πολλὰ τῶν ὠφελίμων καὶ σπουδὴν ἡδεῖαν παρασχεῖν, ὡς ἀνʼ ἐχινόποδας καὶ ἀνὰ τρηχεῖαν ὄνωνιν / φύονται μαλακῶν ἄνθεα λευκοΐων. / ὅσαι δʼ ἄνευ σπουδῆς ἐπεισκωμάζουσι τοῖς συμποσίοις παιδιαί, ταύτας ἐπιμελῶς διακελεύσεται τοῖς συμπόταις εὐλαβεῖσθαι, μὴ λάθωσιν ὕβριν καὶ ἀσέλγειαν καθάπερ ὑοσκύαμον λαβόντες οἴνῳ τοῖς λεγομένοις προστάγμασιν ἐξυβρίζωσι, προστάττοντες ᾄδειν ψελλοῖς ἢ κτενίζεσθαι φαλακροῖς ἢ ἀσκωλιάζειν χωλοῖς. ὥσπερ Ἀγαπήστορι τῷ Ἀκαδημαϊκῷ λεπτὸν ἔχοντι καὶ κατεφθινηκὸς τὸ σκέλος ἐπηρεάζοντες οἱ ξυμπόται πάντας ἐκέλευσαν ἐπὶ τοῦ δεξιοῦ ποδὸς ἑστῶτας ἐκπιεῖν τὸ ποτήριον ἢ ζημίαν καταβαλεῖν τοῦ δὲ προστάσσειν περιελθόντος εἰς αὐτόν, ἐκέλευσε πάντας οὕτω πιεῖν, ὡς ἂν αὐτὸν ἴδωσι·; καὶ κεραμίου στενοῦ κομισθέντος, εἰς τοῦτο τὸν ἀσθενῆ πόδα καθεὶς ἐξέπιε τὸ ποτήριον, οἱ δʼ ἄλλοι πάντες, ὡς ἐφαίνετο πειρωμένοις ἀδύνατον, ἀπέτισαν τὴν ζημίαν. χαρίεις οὖν Ἀγαπήστωρ καὶ ποιητέον εὐκόλους οὕτω καὶ ἱλαρὰς τὰς ἀμύνας, ἀλλὰ μὴν καὶ προστάγμασιν ἐθιστέον χρῆσθαι πρὸς ἡδονὴν καὶ ὠφέλειαν, τὰ οἰκεῖα καὶ δυνατὰ καὶ κοσμοῦντα τὸν δρῶντα προστάσσοντας, ᾠδικοῖς ᾆσαι, ῥητορικοῖς εἰπεῖν, φιλοσόφοις λῦσαί τι τῶν ἀπορουμένων, ποιηταῖς προενέγκασθαι στίχους. ἡδέως γὰρ εἰς τοῦθʼ ἕκαστος ἄγεται καὶ προθύμως, ἵνʼ αὐτὸς αὑτοῦ τυγχάνει κράτιστος ὤν ὁ μὲν οὖν τῶν Ἀσσυρίων βασιλεὺς ἆθλον ὑπὸ κήρυκος κατήγγειλε τῷ καινὴν ἡδονὴν ἐξευρόντι· συμποσίου δὲ βασιλεὺς; ἀστεῖον ἆθλον ἂν καὶ γέρας προθείη τῷ παιδιὰν ἀνύβριστον εἰσηγησαμένῳ καὶ τέρψιν ὠφέλιμον καὶ γέλωτα μὴ μώμου μηδʼ ὕβρεων ἀλλὰ χάριτος καὶ φιλοφροσύνης ἑταῖρον· ἐν οἷς τὰ πλεῖστα ναυαγεῖ συμπόσια μὴ τυχόντα παιδαγωγίας ὀρθῆς. ἔστι δὲ σώφρονος ἀνδρὸς ἔχθραν φυλάττεσθαι καὶ ὀργήν, ἐν ἀγορᾷ τὴν ἐκ πλεονεξίας ἐν γυμνασίοις καὶ παλαίστραις ἐκ φιλονεικίας ἐν δʼ ἀρχαῖς καὶ φιλοτιμίαις ἐκ φιλοδοξίας ἐν δὲ δείπνῳ καὶ παρὰ πότον ἐκ παιδιᾶς ἐπιτιθεμένην.
And Theon replied: He is welcome,—a very well-shaped gentleman, and fitted for the office; but whether I shall not spoil him in my particular application, I cannot tell. In my opinion he seems such a one as will keep an entertainment to its primitive institution, and not suffer it to be changed, sometimes into a mooting hall, sometimes a school of rhetoric, now and then a dicing-room, a playhouse, or a stage. For do not you observe some making fine orations and putting cases at a supper, others declaiming or reading some of their own compositions, and others proposing prizes to dancers and mimics? Alcibiades and Theodorus turned Polition’s banquet into a place of initiation, representing there the sacred procession and mysteries of Ceres; now such things as these, in my opinion, ought not to be suffered by a steward, but he must permit such discourse only, such shows, such merriment, as promote the particular end and design of such entertainments; and that is, by pleasant conversation either to beget or maintain friendship and good-will among the guests; for an entertainment is only a pleasant recreation at the table with a glass of wine, aiming to contract friendship through mutual good-will.
But now because things pure and unmixed are usually surfeiting and odious, and the very mixture itself, unless the simples be well proportioned and opportunely put together, spoils the sweetness and goodness of the composition; it is evident that there ought to be a director who shall take care that the mirth and jollity of the guests be exactly and opportunely tempered. It is a common saying, that a voyage near the land and a walk near the sea are the best recreation. Thus our steward should place seriousness and gravity next jollity and humor; that, when they are merry, they should be on the very borders of gravity itself, and when grave and serious, they might be refreshed as sea-sick persons, having an easy and short prospect to the mirth and jollity on the shore. For mirth may be exceeding useful, and make our grave discourses smooth and pleasant,— As near the bramble oft the lily grows, / And neighboring rue commends the blushing rose. / But against vain and empty humors, that wantonly break in upon our feasts, like henbane mixed with the wine, he must caution the guests, lest scoffing and affronts creep in under these, lest in their questions or commands they grow scurrilous and abuse, as for instance by enjoining stutterers to sing, bald-pates to comb their heads, or a cripple to rise and dance. So the company once abused Agapestor the Academic, one of whose legs was lame and withered, when in a ridiculing frolic they ordained that every man should stand upon his right leg and take off his glass, or pay a forfeit; and he, when it was his turn to command, enjoined the company to follow his example and drink as he did, and having a narrow earthen pitcher brought in, he put his withered leg into it, and drank his glass, and every one in the company, after a fruitless endeavor to imitate, paid his forfeit. It was a good humor of Agapestor’s, and thus every little merry abuse must be as merrily revenged. Besides, he must give such commands as will both please and profit, putting such as are familiar and easy to the person, and when performed will be for his credit and reputation. A songster must be enjoined to sing, an orator to speak, a philosopher to solve a problem, and a poet to make a song; for every one very readily and willingly undertakes that In which he may outdo himself.
An Assyrian king by public proclamation promised a reward to him that would find out any new sort of luxury and pleasure. And let the governor, the king of an entertainment, propose some pleasant reward for any one that introduceth inoffensive merriment, profitable delight and laughter, such as attends not scoffs and abusive jests, but kindness, pleasant humor, and good-will; for these matters not being well looked after and observed spoil and ruin most of our entertainments. It is the office of a prudent man to hinder all sort of anger and contention; in the exchange, that which springs from covetousness; in the fencing and wrestling schools, from emulation; in offices and state affairs, from ambition; and in a feast or entertainment, from pleasantness and joke.
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