ΑΥΤΟΒΟΥΛΟΣ. τὸ δʼ ἐμπαθὲς ἐν ἀρχῇ καὶ δάκνον, ὦ μακάριε Ζεύξιππε, μὴ φοβηθῇς ὡς ἕλκος ἢ ὀδαξησμὸν· καίτοι καὶ μεθʼ ἕλκους ἴσως οὐδὲν ἢ δεινὸν ὥσπερ τὰ δένδρα συμφυῆ γενέσθαι πρὸς γυναῖκα χρηστήν. ἕλκωσις δὲ καὶ κυήσεως ἀρχή· μῖξις γὰρ οὐκ ἔστι τῶν μὴ πρὸς ἄλληλα πεπονθότων. ταράττει δὲ καὶ μαθήματα παῖδας ἀρχομένους καὶ φιλοσοφία νέους· ἀλλʼ οὔτε τούτοις ἀεὶ παραμένει τὸ δηκτικὸν οὔτε τοῖς ἐρῶσιν, ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ ὑγρῶν πρὸς ἄλληλα συμπεσόντων ποιεῖν τινα δοκεῖ ζέσιν ἐν ἀρχῇ καὶ τάραξιν ὁ Ἔρως, εἶτα χρόνῳ καταστήσας καὶ καθαιρεθεὶς τὴν βεβαιοτάτην διάθεσιν παρέσχεν. αὕτη γάρ ἐστιν ὡς ἀληθῶς ἡ διʼ ὅλων λεγομένη κρᾶσις, ἡ τῶν ἐρώντων· ἡ δὲ τῶν ἄλλως συμβιούντων ταῖς κατʼ Ἐπίκουρον ἁφαῖς καὶ περιπλοκαῖς ἔοικε, συγκρούσεις λαμβάνουσα καὶ ἀποπηδήσεις, ἑνότητα δʼ οὐ ποιοῦσα τοιαύτην, οἵαν Ἔρως ποιεῖ γαμικῆς κοινωνίας ἐπιλαβόμενος. οὔτε γὰρ ἡδοναὶ μείζονες ἀπʼ ἄλλων οὔτε χρεῖαι συνεχέστεραι πρὸς ἄλλους οὔτε φιλίας τὸ καλὸν ἑτέρας ἔνδοξον οὕτω καὶ ζηλωτόν, ὡς ὅθʼ ὁμοφρονέοντε νοήμασιν οἶκον ἔχητον / ἀνὴρ ἠδὲ γυνή· / καὶ γὰρ ὁ νόμος βοηθεῖ καὶ γεννήσεως κοινῆς καὶ τοὺς θεοὺς Ἔρωτος ἡ φύσις ἀποδείκνυσι δεομένους. οὕτω γάρ ἐρᾶν μὲν ὄμβρου γαῖαν οἱ ποιηταὶ λέγουσι καὶ γῆς οὐρανόν, ἐρᾶν δʼ ἡλίου σελήνην οἱ φυσικοὶ καὶ συγγίγνεσθαι καὶ κυεῖσθαι· καὶ γῆν δʼ ἀνθρώπων μητέρα καὶ ζῴων καὶ φυτῶν ἁπάντων γένεσιν οὐκ ἀναγκαῖον ἀπολέσθαι ποτὲ καὶ σβεσθῆναι παντάπασιν, ὅταν ὁ δεινὸς ἔρως ἢ ἵμερος τοῦ θεοῦ τὴν ὕλην ἀπολίπῃ καὶ παύσηται ποθοῦσα καὶ διώκουσα τὴν ἐκεῖθεν ἀρχὴν καὶ κίνησιν; ἀλλʼ ἵνα μὴ μακρὰν ἀποπλανᾶσθαι δοκῶμεν ἢ κομιδῇ φλυαρεῖν, οἶσθα τοὺς παιδικοὺς ἔρωτας ὡς εἰς ἀβεβαιότητα πολλὰ λέγουσι καὶ σκώπτουσι λέγοντες, ὥσπερ ᾠὸν αὐτῶν τριχὶ διαιρεῖσθαι τὴν φιλίαν, αὐτοὺς δὲ νομάδων δίκην ἐνεαρίζοντας τοῖς τεθηλόσι καὶ ἀνθηροῖς εἶθʼ ὡς ἐκ γῆς πολεμίας ἀναστρατοπεδεύειν· ἔτι δὲ φορτικώτερον ὁ σοφιστὴς Βίων τὰς τῶν καλῶν τρίχας Ἁρμοδίους ἐκάλει καὶ Ἀριστογείτονας, ὡς ἅμα καλῆς τυραννίδος ἀπαλλαττομένους ὑπʼ αὐτῶν τοὺς ἐραστάς. ταῦτα μὲν οὐ δικαίως κατηγορεῖται τῶν γνησίων ἐραστῶν· τὰ δʼ ὑπʼ Εὐριπίδου ῥηθέντʼ ἐστὶ κομψά· ἔφη γὰρ Ἀγάθωνα τὸν καλὸν ἢδη γενειῶντα περιβάλλων καὶ κατασπαζόμενος, ὅτι τῶν καλῶν καὶ τὸ μετόπωρον […] ἐκδέχεται μόνον […] οὐδὲν πολιῶσα ἀκμάζων καὶ ῥυτίσιν, ἀλλʼ ἄχρι τάφων καὶ μνημάτων παραμένει· καὶ συζυγίας ὀλίγας ἔστι παιδικῶν, μυρίας δὲ γυναικείων ἐρώτων καταριθμήσασθαι, πάσης πίστεως κοινωνίαν πιστῶς ἅμα καὶ προθύμως συνδιαφερούσας· βούλομαι δʼ ἕν τι τῶν καθʼ ἡμᾶς ἐπὶ Καίσαρος Οὐεσπασιανοῦ γεγονότων διελθεῖν.
AUTOB. As for those passionate affections which at the beginning of conjugal love raise certain fits, which are somewhat sharp and biting, most fortunate Zeuxippus, I would not have you fear them, like an ulcer or scarification. Though perhaps it would not be amiss, if it should cost you some small wound to be joined to a virtuous woman, like trees that grow together when grafted by incision upon a proper stock. The beginning of conception itself is a kind of exulceration; for there can be no mixture of things that are not affected reciprocally one by the other. The very mathematical rudiments do not a little perplex little children at the first, and philosophy troubles the brains of young beginners; but this corroding humor is not lasting, either to these or to lovers. Insomuch that a man would think that love at first resembled the mixture of two liquors, which, when once they begin to incorporate, by their ebullition discover some little disgusts; for so love at the beginning bubbles up with a kind of effervency, till being settled and purified it acquires a firm and stable constitution. For this indeed is properly that kind of mixture which is called a thorough mixture; whereas the love of other friends, conversing and living together, is like the touches and interweavings of Epicurus’s atoms, subject to raptures and separations, but can never compose such a union as proceeds from love assisting conjugal society. For neither are the pleasures received from any other source so great, nor the benefits conferred on others so lasting, nor is the glory and beauty of any other friendship so noble and desirable, As when the man and wife at board and bed / Under one roof a life of concord lead. /
AUTOB. Moreover, it is a thing warranted by law; while Nature shows us that even the Gods themselves stood in need of love for the sake of common procreation. Thus the poets tell us that earth is in love with the showers, and heaven with the earth; and the natural philosophers are of opinion that the sun is in love with the moon, that they copulate every month, and that the moon conceives by virtue of that conjunction. And it would of necessity follow that the earth, which is the common mother of all mankind, of all animals, and of all manner of plants, would one day cease and be extinguished, should that same ardent love and desire infused by the God forsake matter, and matter cease to pursue and lust after the principles and motions of generation.
AUTOB. But that we may not seem to wander too far or spend our time in trifles, you yourselves are not ignorant that these pederasties are by many said to be the most uncertain and least durable things in the world, and that they are derided by those that make use of them, who affirm that the love of boys, like an egg, may be destroyed by a hair; and the lovers themselves are like the wandering Scythians, who, having spent their spring in flowery and verdant pastures, presently dislodge from thence, as out of an enemy’s country. And Bion the Sophister was yet more sharp and satirical, when he called the beards of young and beautiful striplings by the names of Harmodii and Aristogitons (i.e. tyrant-killers), since by that budding show of manhood their lovers are delivered from their pleasant tyranny. But these imputations are not justly charged upon true lovers. Elegant therefore was that which was said by Euripides. For as he was clasping and embracing the fair Agatho, after the down began to sprout forth upon his chin, he cried that the very autumn of lovely youths was pleasing and delightful. But I say more than this, that the love of virtuous women does not decay with the wrinkles that appear upon their faces, but remains and endures to their graves and monuments. Then again, we shall find but few male couples of true lovers, but thousands of men and women conjoined together in wedlock, who have reciprocally and inviolably observed a community of affection and loyalty to the end of their lives. I shall instance only one example, which happened in our time, during the reign of Caesar Vespasian.
ΑΥΤΟΒΟΥΛΟΣ. Κιουίλιος γάρ, ὁ τὴν ἐν Γαλατίᾳ κινήσας ἀπόστασιν, ἄλλους τε πολλοὺς ὡς εἰκὸς ἔσχε κοινωνοὺς καὶ Σαβῖνον ἄνδρα νέον οὐκ ἀγεννῆ, πλούτῳ δὲ καὶ δόξῃ ἀνθρώπων πάντων ἐπιφανέστατον. ἁψάμενοι δὲ πραγμάτων μεγάλων ἐσφάλησαν καὶ δίκην δώσειν προσδοκῶντες οἱ μὲν αὑτοὺς ἀνῄρουν, οἱ δὲ φεύγοντες ἡλίσκοντο. τῷ δὲ Σαβίνῳ τὰ μὲν ἄλλα πράγματα ῥᾳδίως παρεῖχεν ἐκποδὼν γενέσθαι καὶ καταφυγεῖν εἰς τοὺς βαρβάρους· ἣν δὲ γυναῖκα πασῶν ἀρίστην ἠγμένος ἦν — ἐκεῖ μὲν Ἐμπονὴν ἐκάλουν, Ἑλληνιστὶ δʼ ἄν τις Ἡρωίδα προσαγορεύσειεν· — οὔτʼ ἀπολιπεῖν δυνατὸς ἦν οὔτε μεθʼ ἑαυτοῦ κομίζειν. ἔχων οὖν κατʼ ἀγρὸν ἀποθήκας χρημάτων ὀρυκτὰς ὑπογείους, ἃς δύο μόνοι τῶν ἀπελευθέρων συνῄδεσαν, τοὺς μὲν ἄλλους ἀπήλλαξεν οἰκέτας, ὡς μέλλων φαρμάκοις ἀναιρεῖν ἑαυτόν, δύο δὲ πιστοὺς παραλαβὼν εἰς τὰ ὑπόγεια κατέβη· πρὸς δὲ τὴν γυναῖκα Μαρτιάλιον ἔπεμψεν ἀπελεύθερον ἀπαγγελοῦντα τεθνάναι μὲν ὑπὸ φαρμάκων, συμπεφλέχθαι δὲ μετὰ τοῦ σώματος τὴν ἔπαυλιν· ἐβούλετο γὰρ τῷ πένθει χρῆσθαι τῆς γυναικὸς ἀληθινῷ πρὸς πίστιν τῆς λεγομένης τελευτῆς ὃ καὶ συνέβη· ῥίψασα γάρ, ὅπως ἔτυχε, τὸ σῶμα μετʼ οἴκτων καὶ ὀλοφυρμῶν ἡμέρας τρεῖς καὶ νύκτας ἄσιτος διεκαρτέρησε. ταῦτα δʼ ὁ Σαβῖνος πυνθανόμενος καὶ φοβηθείς, μὴ διαφθείρῃ παντάπασιν ἑαυτήν, ἐκέλευσε φράσαι κρύφα τὸν Μαρτιάλιον πρὸς αὐτήν, ὅτι ζῇ καὶ κρύπτεται, δεῖται δʼ αὐτῆς ὀλίγον ἐμμεῖναι τῷ πένθει, καὶ μηδὲ […] πιθανὴν ἐν τῇ προσποιήσει γενέσθαι. τὰ μὲν οὖν ἄλλα παρὰ τῆς γυναικὸς ἐναγωνίως συνετραγῳδεῖτο τῇ δόξῃ τοῦ πάθους· ἐκεῖνον δʼ ἰδεῖν ποθοῦσα νυκτὸς ᾤχετο, καὶ πάλιν ἐπανῆλθεν· ἐκ δὲ τούτου λανθάνουσα τοὺς ἄλλους ὀλίγον ἀπέδει συζῆν ἐν Ἅιδου τἀνδρὶ πλέον ἑξῆς ἑπτὰ μηνῶν ἐν οἷς κατασκευάσασα τὸν Σαβῖνον ἐσθῆτι καὶ κουρᾷ καὶ καταδέσει τῆς κεφαλῆς ἄγνωστον εἰς Ῥώμην ἐκόμισε μεθʼ ἑαυτῆς τινῶν ἐλπίδων ἐνδεδομένων. πράξασα δʼ οὐδὲν αὖθις ἐπανῆλθε, καὶ τὰ μὲν πολλὰ ἐκείνῳ συνῆν ὑπὸ γῆς, διὰ χρόνου δʼ εἰς πόλιν ἐφοίτα ταῖς φίλαις ὁρωμένη καὶ οἰκείαις γυναιξί. τὸ δὲ πάντων ἀπιστότατον, ἔλαθε κυοῦσα λουομένη μετὰ τῶν γυναικῶν· τὸ γὰρ φάρμακον, ᾧ τὴν κόμην αἱ γυναῖκες ἐναλειφόμεναι ποιοῦσι χρυσοειδῆ καὶ πυρράν, ἔχει λίπασμα σαρκοποιὸν ἢ χαυνωτικὸν σαρκός, ὥσθʼ οἷον διάχυσὶν τινα ἢ διόγκωσιν ἐμποιεῖν· ἀφθόνῳ δὴ χρωμένη τούτῳ πρὸς τὰ λοιπὰ μέρη τοῦ σώματος, αἰρόμενον καὶ ἀναπιμπλάμενον ἀπέκρυπτε τὸν τῆς γαστρὸς ὄγκον. τὰς δʼ ὠδῖνας αὐτὴ καθʼ ἑαυτὴν διήνεγκεν, ὥσπερ ἐν φωλεῷ λέαινα καταδῦσα πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα, καὶ τοὺς γενομένους ὑπεθρέψατο σκύμνους ἄρρενας· δύο γὰρ ἔτεκε. τῶν δʼ υἱῶν ὁ μὲν ἐν Αἰγύπτῳ πεσὼν ἐτελεύτησεν, ὁ δʼ ἕτερος ἄρτι καὶ πρῴην γέγονεν ἐν Δελφοῖς παρʼ ἡμῖν ὄνομα Σαβῖνος. ἀποκτείνει μὲν οὖν αὐτὴν ὁ Καῖσαρ· ἀποκτείνας δὲ δίδωσι δίκην, ἐν ὀλίγῳ χρόνῳ τοῦ γένους παντὸς ἄρδην ἀναιρεθέντος. οὐδὲν γὰρ ἤνεγκεν ἡ τόθʼ ἡγεμονία σκυθρωπότερον οὐδὲ μᾶλλον ἑτέραν εἰκὸς ἦν καὶ θεοὺς καὶ δαίμονας ὄψιν ἀποστραφῆναι· καίτοι τὸν οἶκτον ἐξῄρει τῶν θεωμένων τὸ θαρραλέον αὐτῆς καὶ μεγαλήγορον, ᾧ καὶ μάλιστα παρώξυνε τὸν Οὐεσπασιανόν, ὡς ἀπέγνω τῆς σωτηρίας πρὸς αὐτὸν ἀλλαγὴν κελεύουσα· βεβιωκέναι γὰρ ὑπὸ σκότῳ καὶ κατὰ γῆς ἥδιον ἢ βασιλεύειν ἐκείνῳ.
AUTOB. Julius, who was the first that occasioned the revolt in Galatia, among many other confederates in the rebellion had one Sabinus, a young gentleman of no mean spirit, and for fame and riches inferior to none. But having undertaken a very difficult enterprise, they miscarried; and therefore expecting nothing but death by the hand of justice, some of them killed themselves, others made their escapes as well as they could. As for Sabinus, he had all the opportunities that could be to save himself by flying to the barbarians; but he had married a lady, the best of women, which they called by the name of Empone, as much as to say a heroess. This woman it was not in his power to leave, neither could he carry her conveniently along with him. Having therefore in the country certain vaults or cellars under ground, where he had hid his treasures and movables of greatest value, which were only known to two of his freed bondmen, he dismissed all the rest of his servants, as if he had intended to poison himself. And taking along with him his two faithful and trusty servants, he hid himself in one of the vaults, and sent another of his enfranchised attendants, whose name was Martalius, to tell his wife that her husband had poisoned himself and that the house and his corpse were both burnt together, designing by the lamentation and unfeigned grief of his wife to make the report of his death the more easily believed; which fell out according to his wish. For the lady, so soon as she heard the news, threw herself upon the floor, and continued for three days together without meat or drink, making the most bitter outcries, and bewailing her loss with all the marks of a real and unfeigned anguish; which Sabinus understanding, and fearing her sorrow might prevail with her to lay violent hands upon herself, he ordered the same Martalius to tell her that he was yet alive and lay hid in such a place; however, that she should for a while continue her mourning, and be sure so to counterfeit her grief that she should not be discovered. And indeed in all other things the lady acted her part so well, and managed her passion to that degree, that no woman could do it better. But having still a longing desire to see her husband, she went to him in the night and returned again so privately that nobody took any notice of her. And thus she continued keeping him company for seven months together, that it might be said to differ very little from living in hell itself. Where after she had so strangely disguised Sabinus with a false head of hair, and such odd sort of habit, that it was impossible for him to be known, she carried him to Rome along with her undiscovered to several that met him. But not being able to obtain his pardon, she returned with him back to his den, and for many years lived with him under ground; only between whiles she went to the city, and there showed herself in public to several ladies, her friends and familiar acquaintance. But that which was the most incredible of all things, she so ordered her business that none of the ladies perceived her being with child, though she bathed at the same time with them. For such is the nature of that same ointment wherewith the women anoint their hair to make it of a red-golden color, that by its fatness and oiliness it plumps and swells up the flesh of the body, and brings it up to an embonpoint. So that the lady, no less liberal of her ointment than diligent to chafe and rub her body limb by limb, by the proportionable rising and swelling of her flesh in every part, concealed the swelling of her belly. And when she came to be delivered, she endured the pains of her child-bearing alone by herself, like a lioness, hiding herself in her den with her husband; and there, as I may say, she bred up in private her two male whelps. For at that time she was delivered of two boys, of which there was one who was slain in Egypt; the other, whose name was also Sabinus, was but very lately with us at Delphi.
AUTOB. For this reason Caesar put the lady to death; but dearly paid for the murder by the utter extirpation of his whole posterity, which in a short time after was utterly cut off from the face of the earth. For during his whole reign, there was not a more cruel and savage act committed; neither was there any other spectacle which in all probability the Gods and Daemons more detested, or any from which they more turned away their eyes in abomination of the sight. Besides, she abated the compassion of the spectators by the stoutness of her behavior and the grandeur of her utterance, than which there was nothing that more exasperated Vespasian; when, despairing of her husband’s pardon, she did as it were challenge the emperor to exchange her life for his, telling him withal, that she accounted it a far greater pleasure to live in darkness under ground as she had done, than to reign in splendor like him.
ΑΥΤΟΒΟΥΛΟΣ. ἐνταῦθα μὲν ὁ πατὴρ ἔφη τὸν περὶ Ἔρωτος αὐτοῖς τελευτῆσαι λόγον, τῶν Θεσπιῶν ἐγγὺς οὖσιν· ὀφθῆναι δὲ προσιόντα θᾶττον ἢ βάδην πρὸς αὐτοὺς ἕνα τῶν Πεισίου ἑταίρων Διογένη· τοῦ δὲ Σωκλάρου πρὸς αὐτὸν ἔτι πόρρωθεν εἰπόντος οὐ πόλεμὸν γʼ ὦ Διόγενες, ἀπαγγέλλων, ἐκεῖνον οὐκ εὐφημήσετε φάναι γάμων ὄντων καὶ προάξετε θᾶσσον, ὡς ὑμᾶς τῆς θυσίας περιμενούσης; πάντας μὲν οὖν ἡσθῆναι, τὸν δὲ Ζεύξιππον ἐρέσθαι, εἰ ἔτι χαλεπός ἐστι. πρῶτος μὲν οὖν ἔφη συνεχώρησε τῇ Ἰσμηνοδώρᾳ· καὶ νῦν ἑκὼν στέφανον καὶ λευκὸν ἱμάτιον λαβὼν οἷός ἐστιν ἡγεῖσθαι διʼ ἀγορᾶς πρὸς τὸν θεόν. ἀλλʼ ἴωμεν, ναὶ μὰ Δία τὸν πατέρα εἰπεῖν ἴωμεν, ὅπως ἐπεγγελάσωμεν τἀνδρὶ καὶ τὸν θεὸν προσκυνήσωμεν· δῆλος γάρ ἐστι χαίρων καὶ παρὼν εὐμενὴς τοῖς πραττομένοις.
AUTOB. Here, as my father told me, ended the discourse concerning Love in the neighborhood of Thespiae; at what time they saw one of Pisias’s friends, by name Diogenes, coming at a good round pace towards them; to whom when Soclarus, while he was yet at a distance, cried out, No tidings of war, Diogenes, I hope? No, no, said he, that ne’er can be at a wedding; and therefore mend your pace, for the nuptial sacrifice stays only for your coming. All the rest of the company were exceeding glad, only Zeuxippus asked whether Pisias were still angry. On the contrary, said Diogenes, as he before opposed the match, so now he was the first to approve what Ismenodora had done; and at the same time, putting on a garland upon his head and throwing a white nuptial robe about his shoulders, he is to march before all the company through the marketplace, to give thanks to the God of Love.
AUTOB. Well done, by Jupiter, come away, come away then, cried my father, that we may laugh and be merry with our friend, and adore the Deity. For there is no doubt that he is propitiously present with his favor and approbation.
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