ματαίους γὰρ καὶ πολλῆς εὐηθείας ἡγητέον εἶναι τὰς τοιαύτας ἐκφωνήσεις ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἔδει νέον ὄντα ἀναρπαγῆναι. τίς γὰρ ἂν εἴποι ὡς ἔδει; πολλὰ δὲ καὶ ἄλλα ἐφʼ ὧν ἄν τις εἴποι ὡς οὐκ ἔδει πραχθῆναι πέπρακται καὶ πράττεται καὶ πραχθήσεται πολλάκις. οὐ γὰρ νομοθετήσοντες πάρεσμεν εἰς τὸν βίον, ἀλλὰ πεισόμενοι τοῖς διατεταγμένοις ὑπὸ τῶν τὰ ὅλα πρυτανευόντων θεῶν καὶ τοῖς τῆς εἱμαρμένης καὶ προνοίας θεσμοῖς.
But such exclamations as this, the young man ought not to be taken off so abruptly in the vigor of his years, are very frivolous, and proceed from a great weakness of mind; for who is it that can say what a thing ought to be? But things have been, are, and will be done, which somebody or other will say ought not to be done. But we do not come into this life to be dogmatical and prescribe to it; but we must obey the dictates of the Gods who govern the world, and submit to the establishments of Fate and Providence.
τί δʼ; οἱ πενθοῦντες τοὺς οὕτως ἀποθανόντας ἑαυτῶν ἕνεκα πενθοῦσιν ἢ τῶν κατοιχομένων; εἰ μὲν οὖν ἑαυτῶν, ὅτι τῆς ἀπὸ τῶν τεθνεώτων ἡδονῆς ἢ χρείας ἢ γηροβοσκίας ἐστερήθησαν, φίλαυτος ἡ τῆς λύπης πρόφασις· οὐ γὰρ ἐκείνους ποθοῦντες ἀλλὰ τὰς ἀπʼ αὐτῶν ὠφελείας φανήσονται. εἰ δὲ τῶν τεθνεώτων ἕνεκα πενθοῦσιν, ἐπιστήσαντες ὅτι ἐν οὐδενὶ κακῷ τυγχάνουσιν ὄντες, ἀπαλλαγήσονται τῆς λύπης, ἀρχαίῳ καὶ σοφῷ πεισθέντες λόγῳ τῷ παραινοῦντι τὰ μὲν ἀγαθὰ ποιεῖν ὡς μέγιστα, τὰ δὲ κακὰ συστέλλειν καὶ ταπεινοῦν. εἰ μὲν οὖν τὸ πένθος ἐστὶν ἀγαθόν, δεῖ ποιεῖν αὐτὸ ὡς πλεῖστον καὶ μέγιστον· εἰ δʼ, ὥσπερ ἡ ἀλήθεια ἔχει, κακὸν αὐτὸ ὁμολογοῦμεν εἶναι, συστέλλειν καὶ ποιεῖν ὡς; ἐλάχιστον καὶ ἐξαλείφειν εἰς τὸ δυνατόν. ὡς δὲ τοῦτο ῥᾴδιον, καταφανὲς ἐκ τῆς τοιαύτης παραμυθίας. φασὶ γάρ τινα τῶν ἀρχαίων φιλοσόφων εἰσιόντα πρὸς Ἀρσινόην τὴν βασίλισσαν πενθοῦσαν τὸν υἱὸν τοιούτῳ χρήσασθαι λόγῳ, φάμενον ὅτι καθʼ ὃν χρόνον ὁ Ζεὺς ἔνεμε τοῖς δαίμοσι τὰς τιμάς, οὐκ ἔτυχε παρὸν τὸ Πένθος, ἤδη δὲ νενεμημένων ἦλθεν ὕστερον. τὸν οὖν Δία, ὡς ἠξίου καὶ αὑτῷ τιμὴν δοθῆναι, ἀποροῦντα διὰ τὸ ἤδη κατηναλῶσθαι πάσας τοῖς ἄλλοις, ταύτην αὐτῷ δοῦναι τὴν ἐπὶ τοῖς τελευτήσασι γιγνομένην, οἷον δάκρυα καὶ λύπας ὥσπερ οὖν τοὺς ἄλλους δαίμονας, ὑφʼ ὧν τιμῶνται, τούτους ἀγαπᾶν, τὸν αὐτὸν τρόπον καὶ τὸ Πένθος ἐὰν μὲν οὖν αὐτὸ ἀτιμάσῃς, ὦ γύναι, οὐ προσελεύσεταί σοι· ἐὰν δὲ τιμᾶται ὑπὸ σοῦ ἐπιμελῶς ταῖς δοθείσαις αὐτῷ τιμαῖς, λύπαις καὶ θρήνοις, ἀγαπήσει σε καὶ ἀεὶ τί σοι παρέσται τοιοῦτον ἐφʼ ᾧ τιμηθήσεται συνεχῶς ὑπὸ σοῦ. θαυμασίως δὴ φαίνεται τῷ λόγῳ πείσας οὗτος παρελέσθαι τῆς ἀνθρώπου τὸ πένθος καὶ τοὺς θρήνους.
But when they mourn over those who die so untimely, do they do it upon their own account, or upon that of the deceased? If upon their own, because they have lost that pleasure they thought they should have enjoyed in them, or are deprived of that profit they expected or that relief they flattered themselves they should receive from them in their old age, then self-love and personal interest prescribe the measures of their sorrow; so that upon the result they do net love the dead so much as themselves and their own interest. But if they lament upon the account of the deceased, that is a grief easily to be shaken off, if they only consider that by their very death they will be out of the sphere of any evil that can reach them, and believe the wise and ancient saying, that we should always augment what is good, and extenuate the evil. Therefore if grief is a good thing, let us enlarge and make it as great as we can; but if it is numbered amongst the evils, as in truth it ought to be, let us endeavor all we can to suppress it, make it as inconsiderable as we can, and at last utterly efface it. How easy this is to be done, I will make appear by an illustrious example of consolation. They say that an ancient philcsopher came to the Queen Arsinoe, who was then sorrowful for the death of her son, and discoursed her after this manner: At the time that Jupiter distributed honors amongst his under-deities, it happened that Grief was absent; but he came at last when all the dignities were disposed of, and then desired that he might have some share in the promotions. Jupiter, having no better vacancies left, bestowed upon him sorrow and funeral tears. He made this inference from the story: Therefore, saith he, as other daemons love and frequent those who give them hospitable reception, so sadness will never come near you, if you do not give it encouragement; but if you caress it with those particular honors which it challengeth as its due, which are sighs and tears, it will have an unlucky affection for you, and will always supply you with fresh occasion that the observance may be continued. By this plausible speech he seems in a wonderful manner to have buoyed this great woman out of her tears, and to have made her cast off her veil.
τὸ δʼ ὅλον εἴποι τις ἂν πρὸς τὸν πενθοῦντα πότερα παύσῃ ποτὲ δυσφορῶν ἢ ἀεὶ δεῖν οἰήσῃ λυπεῖσθαι καὶ παρʼ ὅλον τὸν βίον; εἰ μὲν γὰρ ἀεὶ μενεῖς ἐπὶ τῇ δυσπαθείᾳ ταύτῃ, τελείαν ἀθλιότητα σεαυτῷ παρέξεις καὶ πικροτάτην κακοδαιμονίαν διὰ ψυχῆς ἀγέννειαν καὶ μαλακίαν εἰ δὲ μεταθήσῃ ποτέ, τί οὐκ ἤδη μετατίθεσαι καὶ σεαυτὸν ἀνέλκεις ἐκ τῆς ἀτυχίας; οἷς γὰρ λόγοις τοῦ χρόνου προϊόντος χρησάμενος ἀπολυθήσῃ, τούτοις νῦν προσσχὼν ἀπαλλάγηθι τῆς κακουχίας· καὶ γὰρ ἐπὶ τῶν σωματικῶν παθημάτων ἡ ταχίστη τῆς ἀπαλλαγῆς ὁδὸς ἀμείνων. ὃ οὖν μέλλεις τῷ χρόνῳ χαρίζεσθαι, τοῦτο τῷ λόγῳ χάρισαι καὶ τῇ παιδείᾳ, καὶ σεαυτὸν ἔκλυσαι τῶν κακῶν.
In short, I would ask the mourner whether he designs to put an end to his grief, or to allow the anguish to have the same duration with his life. If this thou hast resolved, I must say thou hast cut out for thyself the most bitter infelicity in the world, and all through the stupidity and softness of thy mind; but if thou wilt ever make a change, why dost thou not make it now, and so free thyself from misery? Apply now the same reasons thou must use a great while hence, to unburden thy mind and ease thy afflictions; and as in bodily distempers the quickest remedy is the best, so bestow the advantage thou must otherwise allow to time upon reason and instruction, and so cease to be unhappy.
ἀλλʼ οὐ γὰρ ἤλπιζον φησὶ ταῦτα πείσεσθαι, οὐδὲ προσεδόκων ἀλλʼ ἐχρῆν σε προσδοκᾶν καὶ προκατακεκρικέναι τῶν ἀνθρωπείων τὴν ἀδηλότητα καὶ οὐδένειαν, καὶ οὐκ ἂν νῦν ἀπαράσκευος ὥσπερ ὑπὸ πολεμίων ἐξαίφνης ἐπελθόντων ἐλήφθης καλῶς γὰρ ὁ παρὰ τῷ Εὐριπίδῃ Θησεὺς παρεσκευάσθαι φαίνεται πρὸς τὰ τοιαῦτα· ἐκεῖνος γάρ φησιν ἐγὼ δὲ τοῦτο παρὰ σοφοῦ τινος μαθὼν / εἰς φροντίδας νοῦν συμφορὰς τʼ ἐβαλλόμην, / φυγὰς τʼ ἐμαυτῷ προστιθεὶς πάτρας ἐμῆς / θανάτους τʼ ἀώρους καὶ κακῶν ἄλλας ὁδούς, / ἵνʼ εἴ τι πάσχοιμʼ ὧν ἐδόξαζον φρενί, / μή μοι νεῶρες προσπεσὸν μᾶλλον δάκοι / οἱ δʼ ἀγεννέστεροι καὶ ἀνασκήτως διακείμενοι οὐδʼ ἀναστροφὴν ἐνίοτε λαμβάνουσι πρὸς τὸ βουλεύσασθαί τι τῶν εὐσχημόνων καὶ συμφερόντων, ἀλλʼ ἐκτρέπονται πρὸς τὰς ἐσχάτας ταλαιπωρίας, τὸ μηδὲν αἴτιον σῶμα τιμωρούμενοι καὶ τὰ μὴ νοσοῦντα κατὰ τὸν Ἀχαιὸν συναλγεῖν, ἀναγκάζοντες.
But it is objected, the calamity was sudden, and I did not expect it. But thou oughtest to have done it, and considered the vanity and uncertainty of human affairs, that thy enemies might not have come suddenly upon thee and taken thee unawares. Theseus in Euripides seems to be excellently well prepared for events of this nature, for he saith thus— This wholesome precept from the wise I learn, / To think of misery without concern. / My meditating thoughts are always spent / Either on death or else on banishment. / Foresight of evils doth employ my mind, / That me without defence they may not find; And though in ambuscade the mischief lies, Kill me it may, but shall not me surprise. But those who are of a degenerate and thoughtless spirit never apply their mind to any thing that is either useful or becoming; but they grow exorbitant in their sorrows, and afflict the innocent body, making it sick for company, as Achaeus expresseth it.
διὸ καὶ πάνυ καλῶς ὁ Πλάτων ἔοικε παραινεῖν ἐν ταῖς τοιαύταις συμφοραῖς ἡσυχίαν ἔχειν, ὡς οὔτε δήλου ὄντος τοῦ κακοῦ καὶ τοῦ ἀγαθοῦ, οὔτʼ εἰς τὸ πρόσθεν οὐδὲν προβαῖνον τῷ χαλεπῶς φέροντι· ἐμποδὼν γὰρ γίγνεσθαι τὸ λυπεῖσθαι τῷ βουλεύεσθαι περὶ τοῦ γεγονότος καὶ ὥσπερ ἐν πτώσει κύβων πρὸς τὰ πεπτωκότα τίθεσθαι τὰ ἑαυτοῦ πράγματα, ὅπῃ λόγος αἱρεῖ βέλτιστʼ ἂν ἔχειν. οὐ δεῖν οὖν προσπταίσαντας καθάπερ παῖδας ἐχομένους τοῦ πληγέντος βοᾶν, ἀλλʼ ἐθίζειν τὴν ψυχὴν ὅτι τάχιστα γίγνεσθαι περὶ τὸ ἰᾶσθαί τε καὶ ἐπανορθοῦν τὸ πεσόν τε καὶ νοσῆσαν, ἰατρικῇ θρηνῳδίαν ἀφανίζοντας. Τὸν τῶν Λυκίων νομοθέτην φασὶ προστάξαι τοῖς αὑτοῦ πολίταις, ἐπὰν πενθῶσι, γυναικείαν ἀμφιεσαμένους ἐσθῆτα πενθεῖν, ἐμφαίνειν βουληθέντα ὅτι γυναικῶδες τὸ πάθος καὶ οὐχ ἁρμόττον ἀνδράσι κοσμίοις καὶ παιδείας ἐλευθερίου μεταπεποιημένοις. θῆλυ γὰρ ὄντως καὶ ἀσθενὲς καὶ ἀγεννὲς; τὸ πενθεῖν· γυναῖκες; γὰρ ἀνδρῶν εἰσι φιλοπενθέστεραι καὶ οἱ βάρβαροι τῶν Ἑλλήνων καὶ οἱ χείρους ἄνδρες τῶν ἀμεινόνων, καὶ αὐτῶν δὲ τῶν βαρβάρων οὐχ οἱ γενναιότατοι Κελτοὶ καὶ Γαλάται καὶ πάντες οἱ φρονήματος ἀνδρειοτέρου πεφυκότες ἔμπλεοι, μᾶλλον δʼ, εἴπερ ἄρα, Αἰγύπτιοί τε καὶ Σύροι καὶ Λυδοὶ καὶ πάντες ὅσοι τούτοις παραπλήσιοι. τούτων γὰρ τοὺς μὲν εἰς βόθρους τινὰς καταδύντας ἱστοροῦσιν ἐπὶ πλείους ἡμέρας μένειν, μηδὲ τὸ τοῦ ἡλίου φῶς ὁρᾶν βουλομένους, ἐπειδὴ καὶ ὁ τετελευτηκὼς ἀπεστέρηται τούτου. Ἴων γοῦν ὁ τραγικὸς ποιητής, οὐκ ἀνήκοος ὢν τῆς τούτων εὐηθείας, πεποίηκέ τινα λέγουσαν ἐξῆλθον ὑμῶν ἱκέτις ἡβώντων τροφὸς / παίδων, βόθρους λιποῦσα πενθητηρίους / τινὲς δὲ τῶν βαρβάρων καὶ μέρη τοῦ σώματος ἀποτέμνουσι, ῥῖνας καὶ ὦτα καὶ τὸ ἄλλο σῶμα καταικίζοντες, δοκοῦντές τι χαρίζεσθαι τοῖς τετελευτηκόσιν ἀπαρτώμενοι τῆς κατὰ φύσιν ἐν τοῖς τοιούτοις μετριοπαθείας.
Therefore Plato doth rightly instruct us to acquiesce in cases of this nature, when it is not manifest whether they be good or evil, and when we get nothing by being uneasy under them; for grief is the greatest obstacle to deliberation as to what is best to be done. Therefore he commands us, as in the casting of dice, to accommodate ourselves to what befalls us, in the way which reason shows us to be best; and when any thing ails us, not to imitate the folly of children, who presently cry out and clap their hands to the place affected, but to accustom our minds to seek at once for remedies which may restore the part that is diseased to its first tone of health, making lamentation give place to the healing art. He that instituted laws for the Lycians commanded the citizens that when they mourned they should put on women’s apparel, intimating thereby that sorrow was an effeminate thing, and therefore was not fit for men of temper and liberal education. For it is indeed a weak and unmanly passion, and women are more subject to it than men, the barbarians more than the Greeks, and the dregs of mankind more than the refined part of them; and even amongst the barbarians, the bravespirited Celts and Gauls have not a propensity to it, or any that have generous sentiments; but the Egyptians, the Syrians, and the Lydians, and those who resemble them n the softness of their disposition. They report that some f these will hide themselves in retirements under ground, and refuse to behold that sun of which their lamented friend is deprived. Ion, the tragedian, who heard something of this extravagance, introduceth a person speaking after this manner:— Your blooming children’s nurse, I have come forth / A suppliant from tlle caves where I have mourned. / Some of these barbarians have deformed their bodies by cutting off their noses, ears, and other parts of themselves, thinking to gratify the dead by these mutilations, when in doing so they deviated excessively from that moderation which Nature prescribes us.
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