οὕτω δʼ οὖν τὸν Ἀντώνιον ἥρπασεν ὥστε, πολεμούσης μὲν ἐν Ῥώμῃ Καίσαρι Φουλβίας τῆς γυναικὸς ὑπὲρ τῶν ἐκείνου πραγμάτων, αἰωρουμένης δὲ Παρθικῆς στρατιᾶς περὶ τὴν Μεσοποταμίαν, ἧς Λαβιηνὸν οἱ βασιλέως στρατηγοὶ Παρθικὸν ἀναγορεύσαντες αὐτοκράτορα Συρίας ἐπιβατεύσειν ἔμελλον, οἴχεσθαι φερόμενον ὑπʼ αὐτῆς εἰς Ἀλεξάνδρειαν, ἐκεῖ δὲ μειρακίου σχολὴν ἄγοντος διατριβαῖς καὶ παιδιαῖς χρώμενον ἀναλίσκειν καὶ καθηδυπαθεῖν τὸ πολυτελέστατον, ὡς Ἀντιφῶν εἶπεν, ἀνάλωμα, τὸν χρόνον.
Accordingly, she made such booty of Antony that, while Fulvia his wife was carrying on war at Rome with Caesar in defence of her husband’s interests, and while a Parthian army was hovering about Mesopotamia (over this country the generals of the king had appointed Labienus Parthian commander-in-chief, and were about to invade Syria), he suffered her to hurry him off to Alexandria. There, indulging in the sports and diversions of a young man of leisure, he squandered and spent upon pleasures that which Antiphon calls the most costly outlay, namely, time.
ἦν γάρ τις αὐτοῖς σύνοδος ἀμιμητοβίων λεγομένη· καὶ καθʼ ἡμέραν εἱστίων ἀλλήλους, ἄπιστόν τινα ποιούμενοι τῶν ἀναλισκομένων ἀμετρίαν. διηγεῖτο γοῦν ἡμῶν τῷ πάππῳ Λαμπρίᾳ Φιλώτας ὁ Ἀμφισσεὺς ἰατρὸς εἶναι μὲν ἐν Ἀλεξανδρείᾳ τότε, μανθάνων τὴν τέχνην, γενόμενος δέ τινι τῶν βασιλικῶν ὀψοποιῶν συνήθης ἀναπεισθῆναι νέος ὢν ὑπʼ αὐτοῦ τὴν πολυτέλειαν καὶ τὴν παρασκευὴν τοῦ δείπνου θεάσασθαι.
For they had an association called The Inimitable Livers, and every day they feasted one another, making their expenditures of incredible profusion. At any rate, Philotas, the physician of Amphissa, used to tell my grandfather, Lamprias, that he was in Alexandria at this time, studying his profession, and that having got well acquainted with one of the royal cooks, he was easily persuaded by him (young man that he was) to take a view of the extravagant preparations for a royal supper.
παρεισαχθεὶς οὖν εἰς τοὐπτανεῖον, ὡς τά τε ἄλλα πάμπολλα ἑώρα καὶ σῦς ἀγρίους ὀπτωμένους ὀκτώ, θαυμάσαι τὸ πλῆθος τῶν δειπνούντων. τὸν δὲ ὀψοποιὸν γελάσαι καὶ εἰπεῖν ὅτι πολλοὶ μὲν οὐκ εἰσὶν οἱ δειπνοῦντες, ἀλλὰ περὶ δώδεκα· δεῖ δʼ ἀκμὴν ἔχειν τῶν παρατιθεμένων ἕκαστον, ἣν ἀκαρὲς ὥρας μαραίνει. καὶ γὰρ αὐτίκα γένοιτʼ ἂν Ἀντώνιον δείπνου δεηθῆναι καὶ μετὰ μικρόν, ἂν δὲ οὕτω τύχῃ, παραγαγεῖν αἰτήσαντα ποτήριον ἢ λόγου τινὸς ἐμπεσόντος.
Accordingly, he was introduced into the kitchen, and when he saw all the other provisions in great abundance, and eight wild boars a-roasting, he expressed his amazement at what must be the number of the guests. But the cook burst out laughing and said: The guests are not many, only about twelve; but everything that is set before them must be at perfection, and this an instant of time reduces. For it might happen that Antony would ask for supper immediately, and after a little while, perhaps, would postpone it and call for a cup of wine, or engage in conversation with some one.
ὅθεν οὐχ ἕν, ἀλλὰ πολλά, φάναι, δεῖπνα συντέτακται· δυσστόχαστος γὰρ ὁ καιρός. ταῦτα οὖν ὁ Φιλώτας ἔλεγε, καὶ χρόνου προϊόντος ἐν τοῖς θεραπεύουσι γενέσθαι τὸν πρεσβύτατον τῶν Ἀντωνίου παίδων, ὃν ἐκ Φουλβίας εἶχε, καὶ συνδειπνεῖν παρʼ αὐτῷ μετὰ τῶν ἄλλων ἑταίρων ἐπιεικῶς, ὁπότε μὴ δειπνοίη μετὰ τοῦ πατρός.
Wherefore, he said, not one, but many suppers are arranged; for the precise time is hard to hit. This tale, then, Philotas used to tell; and he said also that as time went on he became one of the medical attendants of Antony’s oldest son, whom he had of Fulvia, and that he usually supped with him at his house in company with the rest of his comrades, when the young man did not sup with his father.
ἰατρὸν οὖν ποτε θρασυνόμενον καὶ πράγματα πολλὰ παρέχοντα δειπνοῦσιν αὐτοῖς ἐπιστομίσαι τοιούτῳ σοφίσματι· τῷ πως πυρεττοντι δοτέον ψυχρόν· πᾶς δὲ ὁ πυρέττων πως πυρέττει· παντὶ ἄρα πυρέττοντι δοτέον ψυχρόν. πληγέντος δὲ τοῦ ἀνθρώπου καὶ σιωπήσαντος, ἡσθέντα τὸν παῖδα γελάσαι καὶ εἰπεῖν, ταῦτα, ὦ Φιλώτα, χαρίζομαι πάντα σοι, δείξαντα πολλῶν τινων καὶ μεγάλων ἐκπωμάτων μεστὴν τράπεζαν.
Accordingly, on one occasion, as a physician was making too bold and giving much annoyance to them as they supped, Philotas stopped his mouth with some such sophism as this: To the patient who is somewhat feverish cold water must be given; but everyone who has a fever is somewhat feverish; therefore to everyone who has a fever cold water should be given. The fellow was confounded and put to silence, whereat Antony’s son was delighted and said with a laugh: All this I bestow upon thee, Philotas, pointing to a table covered with a great many large beakers.
αὐτοῦ δὲ τὴν μὲν προθυμίαν ἀποδεξαμένου, πόρρω δʼ ὄντος τοῦ νομίζειν ἐξουσίαν εἶναι παιδὶ τηλικούτῳ δωρεῖσθαι τοσαῦτα, μετὰ μικρὸν ἁψάμενόν τινα τῶν παίδων ἐν ἀγγείῳ τὰ ἐκπώματα προσφέρειν καὶ σημήνασθαι κελεύειν. ἀφοσιουμένου δὲ αὐτοῦ καὶ δεδοικότος λαβεῖν, τί, ὦ πόνηρε, φάναι τὸν ἄνθρωπον, ὀκνεῖς; οὐκ οἶδας ὡς ὁ διδοὺς Ἀντωνίου παῖς ἐστιν, ᾧ τοσαῦτα πάρεστι χρυσᾶ χαρίσασθαι;
Philotas acknowledged his good intentions, but was far from supposing that a boy so young had the power to give away so much. After a little while, however, one of the slaves brought the beakers to him in a sack, and bade him put his seal upon it. And when Philotas protested and was afraid to take them, You miserable man, said the fellow, why hesitate? Don’t you know that the giver is the son of Antony, and that he has the right to bestow so many golden vessels?
ἐμοὶ μέντοι πειθόμενος πάντα διάμειψαι πρὸς ἀργύριον ἡμῖν· ἴσως γὰρ ἂν καὶ ποθήσειεν ὁ πατὴρ ἔνια τῶν παλαιῶν ὄντα καὶ σπουδαζομένων κατὰ τὴν τέχνην ἔργων. ταῦτα μὲν οὖν ἡμῖν ἔλεγεν ὁ πάππος ἑκάστοτε διηγεῖσθαι τὸν Φιλώταν.
However, take my advice and exchange them all with us for money; since perchance the boy’s father might miss some of the vessels, which are of ancient workmanship and highly valued for their art. Such details, then, my grandfather used to tell me, Philotas would recount at every opportunity.
ἡ δὲ Κλεοπάτρα τὴν κολακείαν οὐχ, ὥσπερ ὁ Πλάτων φησί, τετραχῆ, πολλαχῆ δὲ διελοῦσα, καὶ σπουδῆς ἁπτομένῳ καὶ παιδιᾶς ἀεί τινα καινὴν ἡδονὴν ἐπιφέρουσα καὶ χάριν, διεπαιδαγώγει τὸν Ἀντώνιον οὔτε νυκτὸς οὔτε ἡμέρας ἀνιεῖσα. καὶ γὰρ συνεκύβευε καὶ συνέπινε καὶ συνεθήρευε καὶ γυμναζόμενον ἐν ὅπλοις ἐθεᾶτο, καὶ νύκτωρ προσισταμένῳ θύραις καὶ θυρίσι δημοτῶν καὶ σκώπτοντι τοὺς ἔνδον συνεπλανᾶτο καὶ συνήλυε θεραπαινιδίου στολὴν λαμβάνουσα καὶ γὰρ ἐκεῖνος οὕτως ἐπειρᾶτο σκευάζειν ἑαυτόν.
But Cleopatra, distributing her flattery, not into the four forms of which Plato speaks, but into many, and ever contributing some fresh delight and charm to Antony’s hours of seriousness or mirth, kept him in constant tutelage, and released him neither night nor day. She played at dice with him, drank with him, hunted with him, and watched him as he exercised himself in arms; and when by night he would station himself at the doors or windows of the common folk and scoff at those within, she would go with him on his round of mad follies, wearing the garb of a serving maiden. For Antony also would try to array himself like a servant.
ὅθεν ἀεὶ σκωμμάτων, πολλάκις δὲ καὶ πληγῶν ἀπολαύσας ἐπανήρχετο· τοῖς δὲ πλείστοις ἦν δι’ ὑπονοίας. οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ προσέχαιρον αὐτοῦ τῇ βωμολοχίᾳ καὶ συνέπαιζον οὐκ ἀρρύθμως οὐδὲ ἀμούσως οἱ Ἀλεξανδρεῖς, ἀγαπῶντες καὶ λέγοντες ὡς τῷ τραγικῷ πρὸς τοὺς Ῥωμαίους χρῆται προσώπῳ, τῷ δὲ κωμικῷ πρὸς αὐτούς.
Therefore he always reaped a harvest of abuse, and often of blows, before coming back home; though most people suspected who he was. However, the Alexandrians took delight in his coarse wit, and joined in his amusements in their graceful and cultivated way; they liked him, and said that he used the tragic mask with the Romans, but the comic mask with them.
τὰ μὲν οὖν πολλὰ τῶν ὑπʼ αὐτοῦ παιζομένων διηγεῖσθαι πολὺς ἂν εἴη φλύαρος· ἐπεὶ δὲ ἁλιεύων ποτὲ καὶ δυσαγρῶν ἤχθετο παρούσης τῆς Κλεοπάτρας, ἐκέλευσε τοὺς ἁλιεῖς ὑπονηξαμένους κρύφα τῷ ἀγκίστρῳ περικαθάπτειν ἰχθῦς τῶν προεαλωκότων, καὶ δὶς ἢ τρὶς ἀνασπάσας οὐκ ἔλαθε τὴν Αἰγυπτίαν. προσποιουμένη δὲ θαυμάζειν τοῖς φίλοις διηγεῖτο, καὶ παρεκάλει τῇ ὑστεραίᾳ γενέσθαι θεατάς.
Now, to recount the greater part of his boyish pranks would be great nonsense. One instance will suffice. He was fishing once, and had bad luck, and was vexed at it because Cleopatra was there to see. He therefore ordered his fishermen to dive down and secretly fasten to his hook some fish that had been previously caught, and pulled up two or three of them. But the Egyptian saw through the trick, and pretending to admire her lover’s skill, told her friends about it, and invited them to be spectators of it on the following day.
ἐμβάντων δὲ πολλῶν εἰς τὰς ἁλιάδας καὶ τοῦ Ἀντωνίου τὴν ὁρμιὰν καθέντος, ἐκέλευσέ τινα τῶν αὑτῆς ὑποφθάσαντα καὶ προσνηξάμενον τῷ ἀγκίστρῳ περιπεῖραι Ποντικὸν τάριχος. ὡς δὲ ἔχειν πεισθεὶς ὁ Ἀντώνιος ἀνεῖλκε, γέλωτος, οἷον εἰκός, γενομένου, παράδος ἡμῖν, ἔφη, τὸν κάλαμον, αὐτόκρατορ, τοῖς Φαρίταις καὶ Κανωβίταις ἁλιεῦσιν· ἡ δὲ σὴ θήρα πόλεις εἰσὶ καὶ βασιλεῖαι καὶ ἤπειροι.
So great numbers of them got into the fishing boats, and when Antony had let down his line, she ordered one of her own attendants to get the start of him by swimming to his hook and fastening on it a salted Pontic herring. Antony thought he had caught something, and pulled it up, whereupon there was great laughter, as was natural, and Cleopatra said: Imperator, hand over thy fishing-rod to the fishermen of Pharos and Canopus; thy sport is the hunting of cities, realms, and continents.
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