Seto Kaiba - Prestige Picture

Righty. SO, Yu-Gi-Oh is, like, my childhood cartoon that I'm embarrassed to admit to liking still....The English dub is a hell-borne nightmare, yet this doesn't hold me from my long-time adoration for the series. I can't find it within myself to part with its zany villains, big hairdos, and butchered character dialogue. Thankfully, we still have the manga...Good ole unadultered manga (At least, I hope it hasn't been stretched into obscurity D:<).

On another note, the first ever anime I watched was Pokemon, and then my young, unripe mind degenerated further and found Digimon. When I was ten, I moved onto BIGGER and BETTER anime when Yu-Gi-Oh first aired in Canada. I thought it was hot shit of course, and rushed off to buy me a Joey Starter Deck (I'm was a cool nerd, honest). I still have it to this day...although, I don't use it -_-

And so...I present to you...A RETAWDEED SKIT:

Blue Eyes: ^___^ *Rolls a giant tongue upside the brunet's head, grooming the stony-faced CEO and ruffling the hair.*

Kaiba: *Ignore the giant mythological dragon behind my sumptuous leather chair. Kthanx. Clacking away on his laptop with same morose expression he can be seen with.*

Mokuba: *IfI'mquiethewon'thearme---* WOW ITSA' BLUE EYES! ....oops. *Starts backing away from the solid oak door.*

Kaiba: ...Mokuba, I distinctly recall telling you NOT to barge into my office while I'm practicing my Brock impression.

Mokuba: *Man...his Brock impression is flawless!* But, there's a huge dr-

Yami: *Busts down the door with an epic steel-toe boot kick, the youngest Kaiba brother startling with a shrill, prepubescent shriek. Cue cheesy 80's theme music!* ............That door is my bitch. *Blows on knuckles.* Oh...hi, Mokuba.

Mokuba:*I wet myself.*

Kaiba: *Oh, 'wonderful'. My day should always start out with a broken door and my archrival's friendship prattle.* ...Yugi, before you go on a harague about cards having hearts----waittaminute, how the hell did you get past my elaborate, trap-filled hallway!

Yami: He helped me. *Jerks his thumb at Bakura, the camera view panning over to the white-haired thief rolling his shoulder indifferently.*

Bakura: Honestly, I have no idea why I bothered coming...That shoddy security system was child's play!

Kaiba: Keh. *Slowly closes the laptop shut with a 'click', ignoring the presence of a third 'officer', the psychotic personality of Malik, who strode in with a swagger.*...Yugi-

Yami: I've come to detain your dragon, Mr. Kaiba. *Flashes the CEO his official Domino City "Duel Monster Cops" badge.* The living conditions for a 'pet' this large are inadequate and therefore, I have been authorized to take the Blue Eyes out of your custody.

Marik: *Coaxing the dragon forth with a KFC bucket tucked under his armpit, waving a grease-laden drumstick at the mammoth creature.* Coooome oooohn, the chicken won't just 'jump' in your mouth!

Yami: Good job, team. Let's leave before the Chief Executive of Douches spontaneously combusts. *Takes the lead, as he is a monarch and does so naturally, the grumbling Ring spirit following in tow with Marik luring the Blue Eyes through Well. Now he will have to worry about to portion of the wall being missing.*

Kaiba: *Headdesks* ....

Mokuba: *Flanks the older Kaiba's immediately after the trio of egos leave the president of KaibaCorp to lament in silence. His eyes misted with an empathy only he could have for the shrewd businessman.* It's okay, Seto...You still have ME.

Kaiba: *Ow. Ow. Ow. Rose his head with a long-suffering sigh at his brother's unfounded sentiment.* You're not a Duel Monster, Mokie.

Mokuba: *Suddenly...IN A BEWD costume! Behold his infinite cuteness!* ...Ta-daaaaaah! *Jazz hands for theatrical effect.*

Kaiba: ....hhnnngg. *Lord, I invoke thee...if there is a God...GIVE ME CANCER!*


Now, wasn't that a wonderful story?

Kaiba: Hmf...It was crassly retarded. *Stood from his stately office chair and reached a spindly hand for his briefcase. A defenseless lady with BUCKLES on her purse; that's deadly. Seto Kaiba with a briefcase? You don't mess with that shit.* Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to hire a lawsuit against those nutjobs masquerading as "Animal Cops".

Yami: *Sputters with a reddening face.* "Masuerading"? Is that what you're calling i-

Kaiba: *Conniption fit in* KISAMA! I'll never get to see my dragon challenge a champion horse race! *Jumps the spirit-possessed form in an uncharacteristically violent display.*

Yami: ---omf! *But, horse races...are for the "equine" species...not...dragons---I don't even...* GRAH. You're going to wrinkle my uniform!

...Be gentle, Kaiba. *Watches the rather one-sided tussle, deadpanned.* Well, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this work piece of mine. Comments are always favored.
Continue Reading: Pan