:takeyourmindand. spin it .clockwise Picture

so this is weird... I stumbled over nebezial's "Death Vigil" comic and had to stare at those sigils. why? because they reminded me of something. something, that i was dreaming of weeks and months before my attempted suicide. (i was a silly child, mind that.)

I tried to forget it but for about 2 hours it kept bothering my thoughts. I had to draw them. Those circles circled with incomplete circles, carved and geometrical, the heathen crosses and stuff that looks like it could summon a demon. It probably did that to me. Ya' know, as a child I used to scribble stuff on papers when I was in bed unable to sleep and because I felt I shouldn't drop them on the ground I kept them under my pillow and eventually gave in to the strange urge of scribbling them on the walls. (under my bed of course, my parents would've killed me for drawing on the walls) Those 'things' started to happen to me soon afterwards, I kind of got paranoid over someone or something stalking me in the dim twilight right after sundown, when it isn't night yet but daylight's getting rare, eventually at any time of the day. I started seeing creatures even in full daylight, though always too far away or at too short of a glance as to really see what it was. Shadows, not all shadows though, started to move and behave in my peripheral vision, but when I looked they stood still just as they ought to. Back then I started to feel some kind of 'energy' or tensions or whatever you want to call it in various situations, feeling the looks of other people even if they are far away and I didn't see them, feeling what they feel without looking and beeing able to make some, not all and any, feel extremely uncomfortable to the extent they almost faint (getting all white and anxiuos looking within minutes) with a single intense stare. I do so until today.

Don't worry, from what I know today I simply suffered from severe depression with psychotic phases(?) idon'tknowwhatpsychatristscallitinenglish and those 'energy' stuff is likely to be some kind of hypersensitivity or something like that... you know, we have spindle neurons in our brains reflecting the expressions we see on other onto our own minds and peripheral vision ought to give us informations abut movement and shapes...

Though I recommend you don't draw this stuff on your walls or on the floor... paper and so on seems to feel perfectly fine, but no walls. k?

What this is all about you ask? I tell you. Bogus. That it is. (and probably coincidence...)

A final note on this? It's chaos. Or at least it feels like chaos. Like a plan bigger than your mind. So take your mind and spin it clockwise, then you might uderstand, or start seeing through my eyes. Thanks for reading if you did.

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art © Kyonovus
Continue Reading: Chaos