Resubmission: My Top 10 Most Hated Characters Picture

Another old scrap meme-essay entry from my ~lainwiththedevil account that I felt belongs more here. It got much feedback, so I felt it was worth it. I 100% promise this is the last resubmit to go here. Enjoy, and please do forgive me if you love these guys, its just trivial opinion. None of these images/creations belong to me, they all belong to their prospective companies and authors, yadda yadda, let's get rolling:
10. MUFFY CROSSWIRE- Originally Olive Oyl took this spot, but you will see later why I didn't bother putting her here as her traits get all covered and then some by #7. She is an obvious fossil of the time she was getting hyped so I can grudgingly allow her some slack, and while she is a sexist and bland annoying plot device, I don't hate HER really as a character for what she's done/her behavior, olive's just a rescue token who whines alot. The reason Muffy is here is because she was a whiney, obnoxiously girly, spoilt little BITCH who went from being a general aristocratic snob, to an actual monster: Asides teasing poorer people/refusing to stoop to their level of life when she has to, she is obsessed with her self-image and cannot tolerate people who do not have the same feelings about their own looks. She is a sore loser, a liar, talks only about herself, expects people to wait on her hand and foot, mocks everyone openly, brags constantly about how successful her father is, and does all the rich kid stereotype bullshit that we hate. The worst she's probably ever done is exploiting her friends creative cookie recipe idea for a giant profit behind their back and makes COOKIES SHAPED LIKE HERSELF instead, and that sell like crazy, and when they object, Muffy doesn't care a bit that they are upset, and when she finally does crack, she goes and makes some cookies with THEIR likenesses. Oh that's so nice of you. Did you offer to split any of the profit with them??? Mention on the box WHO came up with the idea, or did you just add 'and friends' to the box? Despite Muffy ironically being best friends the most with Francine, who appeared to be the kind of token 'urban poor tomboy' girl, and their relationship showed much depth and conflict that helped them both to evolve to become slightly better people, Muffy has still made me along with similar other rich brat girls in real life and on tv as a kid learn to distrust ALL rich ppl and feminine things like putting on makeup. While that's slightly founded in reality, when you grow up realizing not every popular pretty girl is a douche, but some are actually popular for a good REASON, you start to wonder why is it theyre always presented that way and i wish Muffy hadnt brainwashed my early childood into this kind of bigoted skewed view of Feminine girls or Rich girls as all being horrid, i'd maybe been a more tolerant kid and had a better awareness of how to make my face up and realize the awesome artistry and the amazing hard work that goes into makeup/fashion as i know of of now, if only it wasnt so villified to me.

9. QUACKERS- A popular cutesy Tom & Jerry plot device, not much else. Just look at that PWESHUS WIDDLE FACE! I want to punch it and then put it in a blender. I want to put THAT blender into a blender when he starts to talk. I do not care for Tom and Jerry but I do not hate it, I'll watch it if nothing's on and study the facial animation/have the occasional chuckle at a well timed gag and cameo. Like Donald Duck but without the attitude, or humorous timing, the only credit I can give this kid is he's well animated. He's not just over-the-top kyood and annoyingly squawky/high pitched, he's also a self-absorbed EMO, always whining how 'nobuddy wikes me coz I kand shwimmm', or 'nobuddy wikes me coz I kand fwy!' etc etc. He is STUPID and literally every 4 minutes is either getting captured/swallowed/ or completely falling for every trick Tom or a predator throws. I know he's a baby but gimme a break. Babies can sense danger. This is just sheer idiocy, and it was pandering to the fans in the worst way possible at the time. And what disgusts me most of all is that it worked.

8. HAROLD- 'Hey Arnold' was a great show. It was not perfect, it often had flat plots and big continuity errors. But it was entertaining, touching and sincerely written, even controversial and heartbreakingly depressing at times. Harold here was the usual main antagonist. When somebody planned out something he screwed it up. He'd yell out any minor social faux-pas he'd see then relentlessly mock them, or threaten to beat you up. (he was more bark than bite though.) He was not the sole bully, what I liked about the show was that there never were ANY perfect characters (save Arnold, who is Jesus Jr or something). It showed the accepted universal experience of grade school as the dumb, colorful, and unique hell that it is: Your best buddies who'd rescue you from getting hit by a bus one minute could start name-calling you for weeks, all just because you caught lice or spilled a cup of juice onto your pants crotch. And it wasn't personal. All the kids in this show, even the nice ones at some point or other laughed cruelly together, peer pressured or bullied other children just because, well, they were kids! Not because they were jocks or had vendettas or actually cared about popularity status-(except for Rhonda). They all were dumb immature brats who never analyzed what they said or did, they just knew they were in the same dog-eat-dog world and had to make the most of enjoying it, even if it came at the expense of others. So what makes Harold bad? BECAUSE HE IS TOO REAL. HE IS TOO annoying. HE IS TOO CRUEL. HE IS TOO. FUCKING. STUPID. And in exactly the right ways every worst idiot in your life ever was. All the rude obnoxious loudmouthed idiots who THINK they are the witty class clowns, but really just make the actual class clowns sigh and roll their eyes, or the guys who drive by you to shout a very not clever insult, or make lame suggestive pick up lines, this is him. The guy who draws graffiti cocks on 9-11 memorials for no reason, this is him. The Tea Party would adopt him as their mascot, because he's the ideal guy for yelling out bigoted and obviously dumb messages of mistrust/violence without questioning what he is even talking about. He is a dumb glutton who makes fat people look retarded, if not evil. HE SWIPED A HAM for god's sake. A WHOLE HAM, compulsively, from a butcher's shop, without knowing why! Now that is just pathetic. Harold gets the ball rolling when the teasing is good, and when the teasing is 100% NOT good and nobody in their right mind would see any reason to poke fun at something like The Holocaust or paint drying, or see any need to crack a whiney loud complaint when something poignantly sad or beautiful is happening like a sunset or a funeral, this kid will: And worst of all he won't even know WHY. Speaking of the Holocaust this kid is Jewish. I took great annoyance to that even as a kid, not because he was a racist stereotype in any way- his sarcastic fat doting parents which are totally obvious Brooklyn Jew stereotypes much more compared to him, I found them funny and loveable and even somewhat accurate. But because he just was so damn aggravating and strangely UGLY I felt I was being slightly misaligned somehow. But I couldn't figure out in what way. I think it was a total coincidence honestly, a detail the writers threw in late to make this flat bully more depth/show his family off better. I have to actually give the creators some kudos for that. You couldn't get away with something like this nowadays. Maybe the reason Harold's jewish-ness combined with his ghastly caricature face and personality didn't cause much stir is because nearly EVERYBODY on this show had a ghastly looking body and personality somehow, and he wasn't really evil, he was just an ignorant dumb little kid, like any other. He had a heart and even nurtured a lost kitten in a very sweet episode. When truly made to understand how he hurt people, he'd always shamefully apologize/try to fix it up. The reason he is farther down on this list though is I just find his voice absolutely grating beyond belief, worse than all the other people above him, and I think that is for comedy so you'll laugh when he get's his butt kicked like he deserves, but it it goes way over the top, and everything he says isn't funny- and I think that is exactly how the creators wanted him to be. He's almost like Cartman if you take away all the crazy impossible stuff that makes you love him despite being a complete evil jerkass.

7. PETUNIA PIG- One of the obscurer Warner Bros characters, she's basically the Olive Oyl version of Porky Pig. Except more obnoxious. While Olive Oyl has kept to her original form really for the most part, Petunia has gone through quite an evolution. And I have to say it has gone from bad to worse. Petunia started out very very ugly and had a bitchy Betty Boopish kind of voice. Over time as Porky evolved she got higher in pitch, and her face got cuter. TOO GODDAMN CUTE. Don't believe me? Do a Youtube search for 'Peace World' or whatever that loveydovey musical short about feuding southern families that makes you wanna throw up is called. Was this the end? No. She got even KYOODER until she became that abomination you see up there in Looney Tunes Babies. She has been a little bit saved in the newest retcon series, but it's not enough to keep her from being one of the most forgettable characters ever made. Petunia started out with Porky in some of the earliest Looney Tunes shorts, back when they were exclusively played in theaters. She mainly served what Nostalgia Chick called 'The Smurfette Principle' (go look it up.) and was about as deep as a piece of paper. So why is she lower than Olive Oyl? Her voice and hideous appearance and behavior is not just annoying, it INCREASES in annoyance, with every completely different shift she takes with every retcon. In her first form, she is fat and disgustingly hideous. She is a snooty tramp who teases poor Porky, abuses him, eats chocolate all day like its water, and whines and moans whenever she is argued with or if there is trouble behind Porky's back, whenever she isn't openly flirting with him or slamming the door in his face. This character made me terrified at a young age of the idea of falling in love and true marriage, because when I witnessed Porky doing it, it inevitably led to that popular depiction of the miserable post-honeymoon 'ball-and-chain' future hell. Yknow, where after they say I DO! and they kiss, it goes to black, and then it says 3 YEARS LATER...cut to a whole shitty apartment full of wailing thousands of babies, a spoiled fat wife/husband on the couch drinking beer in front of the TV, and a poor beleaguered terrified domestic abuse victim beating the carpets/vacuuming/doing the dishes/scrubbing the toilet/washing the windows/praising the spouse timidly. HA HAH HAH!!! SEE? It's funny cos they are MARRIED! Doesn't marriage just SUCK? hahahaha!....ehhh. Yknow, I get where the humor is supposed to lie, in that this is (in most stories) a paranoid FANTASY, based on the universal fears of insecurity we all get when for the first time truly committing to a relationship, when we don't really know what lies in store or how really perfect our lover actually is when all the makeup gets washed off. I hated Married With Children for this reason and all the other shows/episodes like this. Mainly because I grew up as a child witnessing my own parent's who married/had me very young start to lose their ability to communicate sanely with each other when they started to doubt one another. While things never got dangerously bad overall, to watch every passing year from the get-go a supposed perfectly happy family sustained by True Love turn sour, crumble and die, and watch that with the full guilty awareness that because of you, these two once passionate people with dreams settled down and became boring, stuffy, cold cynical grouchy overworked people, because they had to do their best to be good parents, always accusing which one was being the over-worked servant and which one was being the lazy spoiled brat: when in reality BOTH were equally hard-working loving parents and flawed but overall decent human beings who could have probably if they really tried and had better circumstances kept their marriage together or at least ended on more graceful notes...but instead, thanks to media brainwashing and self-doubt, they still beleive it was their self image that caused the break up, beleive it was the 'universal' mid-life stage of ugliness/grouchiness/old flames dying setting in, that they both deserved younger, better looking, completely content robots who never ever played any mind games and were rich and always had time to praise constantly, and any lack of such was indication that something was wrong with themselves: when such a creature does not exist...I know this may seem a bit ludicrous to attach all this personal baggage to an obscure cartoon character, but that was what such on and off angry unhappy/happy/unhappy couples as the old school Petunia/Porky pig stereotype meant to me. I know abusive/dried up but upheld/unpleasent marriages exist, and all do for their own personal reasons. I know that there is dark reality being poked fun at when people make these jokes, and it was especially popular back in the day to make a 'dominating wife' marriage joke, I think mainly because to be under the thumb of a dominant let alone what you'd consider spoiled woman was just so rare those days, at least in the media. Spoiled abusive over-reproducing people are vile in either sex, but there seems to be comedic tolerance of it when its a woman and not a male- if a male is the lazy dysfunctional oaf or brute, it tends to be either of a much darker sort of humor at stake, where everybody is fucked up like in The Simpsons, or it is played 100% to drama. Anyway. Even without all these connotations, the later Petunias I just find disgustingly saccharine, and even more irritating to listen to than the other voices listed above.

6. CAPTAIN KOROS- Now here's a very different example, a person on here that I actually LIKE. To a degree. This man is a 'heroic' character from the Don Bluth film Titan A.E. This is an awesome cult sci-fi film. When I saw it, it highly influenced my imagination and many races and characters developed simply out of watching that. It was a taste of what 2d Western animation could give us adults if we just goddamn LET IT. BUT NOPE! Gotta maintain that Animation Ghetto! Thanks America . Things are fixing up now a little thanks to the internet, videogames, and rise in anime fandom but things were different around the time Titan AE came out, and this film was in many ways sort of a breakthru and a GIANT risk. A lot of money and love was put in and this was a film that had a huge lot riding on its shoulders, if this film suceeded it would prove that a young adult to adult targeted purely animated film could be mainstream theater acceptable, and not actually suck:.......and for the first 2 acts, it didn't. It totally did not suck at all. In fact it was genius, the animation was top notch, the dialogue was witty, the character design was fantastic, the action top notch, the environments awesome...Then the third act set in. Basically, this guy is the main reason it gets bungled up. Yeah I know it also is because all the other characters suddenly decided on their coffee break to all become flat cliche's, have unfunny jokes, do totally impossible things in a matter of 3 (in-universe) hours in a shitty montage, have gaping plot holes, fall in love, stop the bad guy and do a whole bunch of improbable really boring stuff in the span of a wayyyyyyy drawn out 20 minutes, but yeah. This guy just can't decide what side he is on, the aliens or the humans: Waaah. His motivation SUCKS and the whole movie goes to great lengths at first to make him seem like a superior captain and a really honorable likeable guy. But when he does turn evil, its not the big shocker climax we expect or the same charismatic guy as before just with a twisted revealed goal in mind, if he was, that would tear at our hearts. No, instead, he gets reduced out of completely NOWHERE to a lame Saturday morning tv villain. No sense. No logic. No volume control. He smacks his former comrade for no reason across the face so hard he gets KNOCKED OUT- but the crew still follows him! What does the victim sincerely say when he comes back to? "...I don't think we should trust this guy." *headslap* They spend almost a WHOLE film dodging the enemy forces, blasting the shit out of them, going all apeshit when they just show up in a bar...and then turns out he was a traitor the WHOLE TIME and plotting to sell our protagonist into the alien's clutches all along! DUN DUN DUN. Well, answer me this, idiot....if you hate humanity so much, if you had plots all along to deliver a man to the evil empire from the getgo, MAYBE YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE SPENT A WHOLE 2/3s of an entirely badass film blowing the crap out of them and RUNNING AWAY?? That makes no sense whatsoever! AND THEN you just for NO REASON AT ALL turn GOOD AGAIN and everybody ACCEPTS YOU! *puts on Doug Walker hat and glasses-* NO!!! NO!!! YOU DO NOT DO THAT MOVIE!!! YOU DO NOT DO THAT!! WHAT THE HELL DON BLUTH!!! WHY DO YOU TEASE ME SO!?!?!? DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND HOW TO WRITE!? I KNOW THAT YOU DO!!! WE NEEDED YOU DON! WE NEEDED U!! *head smash into desk*...anyway. Yeah. This film is like somebody taking a brush and starting to paint Van Gogh's Starry Night, but then they suddenly ran out of money or paint and they just didn't give a fuck anymore and finished the rest of the painting using Crayola markers. Nuff said.

UPDATE: I apologize for the above spoilers, I know that anybody who had plans or potential to enjoy this film will now know the twist and think it is due to my rant not worth seeing now, or ever re-viewing again. Despite these major flaws I have described {PLEEEEASE} do not forsake Titan A.E. You will enjoy the ride thoroughly, at least 89% of the way through. Even if you garner no tolerance of the storyline or haven't any interest in the characters, or science fiction in general as a genre itself, if you are really into great animation purely for artistic sake, and enjoy looking at some very detailed well thought out world and creature designs, and really enjoy good action battles, PLEASE do not punish yourself by not seeing this film. It still needs a lot of love. You can watch this movie, point out the huge flaws, and still come out of it feeling like: "Wow...that was pretty darn cool!" It's like the good Terminator films or Back to the Future in this regard, sure we know it's campy or has plot holes so big you could drive a Mustang through it, but it doesn't MATTER, we enjoy the fun and hard work and beauty of the entire experience as a whole. Talent cannot be ignored, and talent 100% shows here. Is it Miyazaki? No. But it sure as hell beats a LOT of CGI crapfests I have seen barfed at us repeatedly in the last 12 years.

5. CARFACE- Speak of the Devil. (semi literally...) No, I am not referring to the original Carface. Carface in the original All Dogs Go To Heaven was a perfect villain in every single way. EVERYTHING in that movie was pretty much perfect. Despite its demographic it's probably not something you really want your 5 year old to see nowadays....Despite its cuteness a lot of it is downright scary and violent and much of the dialogue is too complex to be absorbed. Yet it's PRECISELY the kind of film you ought to expose them to anyway. IF you want them to build character and enjoy a good time that is! Kids can certainly get the basic gist of it: Carface is <<EVIL.>> You have to see it if you haven't yet. This film spawned countless lesser ripoffs during the 80s. THIS was the movie Titan A.E. should have been, and it had singing puppies in it. PASTEL singing puppies. This movie is Don Bluth working at his peak. Still as an adult it blows my mind away at how well everything is put together. And most everybody whose seen this movie also thinks so. That's a rarity with kid's movie stuff. Usually something this strange relies solely on nostalgia or some VERY oddly open minded patient taste to get you to like it. But here, generally the consensus is by most people of all ages and types that this is a very great film. It is accesible. And it had a definite threat: Carface was a REALLY awesome, terrifying villain. In fact, the more that I dwell on this movie, the more awesome the entire movie is, for all its parts: It was thrilling, touching, atmospheric, beautiful, clever, funny, cynical, even nightmarishly frightening at times. Parts of it still unsettle me to this day. And the delightfully disturbing and downright psychotically NASTY Carface accentuated every one of those traits by being one of the ghastliest animated villains, ever. He gets REALLY underappreciated....

Why? Because some genius minds decided to make a sequel. A craaaappy sequel. In fact the only good thing about this sequel is a 3 minute song, which is rather well sung by Sweeney Todd's George Hearn and very catchy for something titled 'It Feels So Good to Be Bad!'...This Carface was wimpy and toned down, even in colors to a softer pastel scheme, and somehow retconned to forget the fact that he operated a gang of violent thugs and, oh yknow, violently MURDERED his business partner right off the bat in the first film. They did this so he could be more child friendly like the rest of the film, and act as a bumbling sidekick to the new big baddy, Red, which I don't think was necessary. In fact, I love it when a strong villain is coerced or forced into following an even stronger one, it makes their motives questionable, and puffs up the real baddy even more. You shouldn't just cut their balls off without any explanation as to why. There is understandable need to sometimes find new voice actors/even change a character's overall personality when making a sequel, especially if its one of those direct-to-video ones that often have little to do with any of the original creators and have half the budget/often tend to exist outside the canon.
But that doesn't give any excuse to just not care AT ALL. We have gone now from a creepy, horrifyingly badass, and sadistic monstrosity to a really incredibly pathetic and worst of all BORING villain. Carface is now a bumbling goofy dumb sidekick, who lacks all the sarcasm and sympathetic love of a really good actual bumbling sidekick like Killer (right) who was HIS bumbling sidekick. Which is what annoys me: WE HAVE this archetype already. WHY do we need one in Carface? I know this was all just a plot on the writers part to bring supernatural stuff in, and in fact, I don't even think the writers barely watched the original film at all. It is one thing to have a bad or weak lame character. Taking a GREAT character who inspires your own work and terrifies you and whose odious prescense you totally enjoy so much as a child you love to watch him murder his 'buddy' Charlie again and again and again as an see him become THIS dim-witted utterly harmless dog shameful. And to top it all off, this was the version they kept entirely intact when they made a TV series based on it. Thank youuuuu, SO. FREAKING. MUCH.

4. RADCLIFFE- I used to sorta like Pocahontas as a child but the more I see it now as an adult, the more I dislike it. I won't go into every reason why, but this guy is part of it. I dislike his design. You are meant to. I dislike his pompous attitude. You are meant to. I dislike his song lyrics, his over the top very predictable 'I am a racist bastard who only cares about MONEY, MONEY AND POWER, MONEY IS EVERYYYYTHING' Captain Planet villain dialogue....yeah. It is Disney just spelling out everything here with absolutely no subtlety whatsoever for the kids. This might be acceptable to a degree, if this movie wasn't ever so adorably trying to tell us a story from ACTUAL HISTORY. This guy is just like every Care Bears or lame movie villain who just screams "I AM THE GUY YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE BECAUSE I AM A MEAN SELFISH BAD PERSON." He hasn't any sympathetic or humorous qualities, he is not truly all that violent as he mostly just orders everyone around to just shoot people for him, he's obviously NOT a man who would be an explorer or on a boat voyage for months in those days seeing as how pristine, fat, and gorgeously opulent he always is...and we don't get the pleasure of seeing him die for his crimes. How dare you deprive us of that Disney! At least his even blander clone in the Tarzan movie got a sinister hanging death that was scary.

3. NARUTO- I know a lot of people will hate me for this one. But I just don't like him. I don't really have to discuss why. Everything that i just don't like in anime is in him- I don't dislike anime, I dislike lame marketing cliche's and that is what this kid is. I have tried to watch Naruto, and frankly, it actually seems like a possibly okay show. The other characters seem unique and rather in depth people and they seem to exist in a very detailed elaborate why do I not watch this? Because this kid's fucking annoying!! And stupid looking!! I cant stand him for two minutes! Why does everybody like him so much! It is just because of the headband, it has to be! Why else? I just cant wrap my goddamn head around it. Every bad 'trendy' thing about poorly written anime series and japan anime stereotypes is rudely crammed together and it almost seems as if he's a satire of an anime hero, like when Western characters go into a weird alternate Japanime universe and everything is like a low budget ADHD-filled DBZ/YugiYoh!/Pokemon episode. And if he is a parody/satire, he is too damn good of one, and he needs to be shot. Seriously. Go watch some more decent anime kids, or study ACTUAL ninja, who didn't go round wearing ridiculously ineffiecent eye-catching uniforms and shouting out their position all day. IF REAL Ninja ever saw you watching this, they would come into your house and assasinate you and all your relatives. That's what people deserve if they beleive this shit has any connection in any way whatsoever with the actual art of ninjitsu. I know that its obviously a fantasy cartoon, and the truth gets stretched about things all the time, I ought to not take it that seriously: except I have met idiotic people who DO just beleive this is what ninja are like. God fuck them. Ontop of it they take things from actual beautiful concepts in the Eastern relegions, like Chakras and Chi, and GROSSLY mispresent/abuse them. C'mon people, this is not like Egyptian or Voodoo magik here, some obscure long extinct to mostly fringe form of sorcery, this is an ACTUAL MODERN DAY HUMAN FAITH we are mocking here, and while I don't declare it as actually racist it is just plain stupid. I mean its like saying Christ's cross grants nifty laser eyebeams or ice powers when you possess a splinter off it or chant a psalm. Can't you just create a made up relegion/source of magical plot device instead??? Oh whatever. You're just a plain annoying loudmouthed jerk Naruto. Go play in a septic tank please.

2. PETER GRIFFIN- Yeah, I watch Family Guy like all the rest of you do. I used to find it funny. I nearly don't at all anymore. I slowly have begun to realize over time that nearly everything in this show I find enjoyable or funny comes stolen from a better talent or from everybody else in this series: Meg, Brian, Stewie, the celebrities, the neighbors etc...but when peter comes along, I almost want to switch channels. I really despise his voice. I really REALLY have come to despise his personality. What he used to be was the average mildly selfish joe who faced the same middle class problems we all did and tried to deal wth them in strange ways. The show was in in its simpler blander youth but it was an enjoyable show. It didnt rely on face raping you with obscure pop culture humor every ten seconds for no reason quite so much. It didn't rely on CONSTANT verbal abuse or disgusting humor as much. Did that make it better? No. Do i find the newer more riske' stuff funnier? Yes and I enjoy it like you do. But here's the thing: Peter Griffin has started to cross the line from being a whimsical nut to a jerky but loveavable oaf to an absolute, god-forsaken, unpleaseant unamusing ASSHOLE and he puts Homer Simpson in a place that is actually admirable when I have lost most of my passion for the Simpsons overall to boot. Peter is not only a jerk, he is for absolutely no reason whatsoever a destructively sexist psychotic disgustingly nauseating sick brute who basically will molest, vomit on, fart on, beat up, drive over, blackmail and do whatever kind of South Park 'edgy' gimmick your heart desires: ONLY NOT FUNNY. And he does this mainly to his own children and wife, and never ever, ever properly redeems himself. And he does all this with the most annoying laugh in the history of mankind. Forget Spongebob. He's beyond unattractive and merchandise with his not funny oh so VERY ironic quotes, and just overall ugly fat naked ass NEEDS. TO. GO. DIE. I am sick of seeing Family Guy merch being bombarded everywhere yet given the 'anti-mainstream' treatment. I have seen how the creators have been moving the main focus of the later episodes off of Peter onto the other characters like Chris and Stewie, because Peter is just an offensive, unfunny, turdwad of a wacky plot device now. He worst of all however is truly offensive to the mentally disabled. Now I will confess, I have consigned myself to Hell by laughing at a few well-told dark humor retard jokes. I try not to too much. It is wrong and it is mean, but then again I also laugh at Jewish jokes and even clever Holocaust or dead baby jokes once in a while, and I come from Auschwitz survivors. I am one of those sick people who thinks laughter is a terrible but sometimes needed medicine to help us get over ourselves and take an objective look at all the human race and accept that nobodys perfect, everybody is messed up in their own silly/demented horrible ways. What separates a simply goofy/derpy/clueless bimbo of a character and a truly retarded one and not okay to laugh at is a complex and subjective issue that bears deep discussion. But here's the thing with this case: There IS no discussion here. Peter is officially medically retarded. He makes the statement many times himself. While it may at first seem like a good excuse for his negative and deviant idiotic rude behavior, it's actually just about the worst kind of one there is, and while it may carry over for the humor of one episode- mostly doesn't. You get a few chuckles, but it isn't worth the lack of them overall, or the discomfort. What I could see working there in that episode to make it be even better, the writers could have in a plot twist ironically revealed by the end that Peter WAS NOT biologically born mentally retarded but the results came back wrong, and he is truly just a normal IQ guy whose only plain stupid and a truly idiotic insensitive fuck that just uses a false excuse to monstrously get away with his banal random desires...this has actually dark comedic potential. But Peter isn't lying for petty gain: It's 100% real. The fact that he is medically retarded has become the plot device of several episodes, and yet meanwhile Peter neither acts like, thinks, or talks like any real retarded person, even one that is being portrayed in a stereotyped flat cartoonish way: This is what annoys me, if you are gonna even go so far as to canon-wise declare somebody is something controversial, then you better deliver that thru actual evidence, and when you don't not only is that offensive, that is just goddamn lazy writing. That's like writing up a character with any convenient potentially interesting backstory or motive, like offhandedly saying "oh my parents were murdered in front of me' or "I was raped by an alligator when i was little..." and then never proceeding to really make them act in any way that demonstrates these things have even happened to them. It's just...god. It must seem like a trivial thing to fans of the show, but thats how it is with me.

And who could be worse than this guy?

1. SUNFLOWER- You may not have heard of this character. That is because she doesn't exist. Disney rightly censored her from the production of the original 1930s Fantasia, and it was one of the best decisions ever made in the history of animation. Sunflower is a little old timey southern Negro mammy stereotype centaur who SOMEHOW got slipped in during the beautifully eye-popping Beethoven segment, which is basically about the change of weather and various characters of Greek Mythology. This not only is dumb and offensive, it HUGELY dates this film. By leaving her out, you eliminate the one detail that tells you this was made in the 1930s America and what was the mainstream attitude towards minorities at this time. She is like watching a Bill Clinton or a Macarena reference being made in an otherwise timeless 90s cartoon. This isn't a 90s tv cartoon however. This is supposed to be a collection of some of the greatest pieces of music ever composed set to moving imagery. Even 'Allegro Non Troppo' which is the Italian adult-rated satire of this film, understands this. Who the heck came up with this idea I do not know, but it is beyond scary that somebody could be this crass. It looks like a gag out of Family Guy, take a look at these two characters, they don't even stylistically seem to be part of the same movie! Not only is Sunflower blatantly racist, she is just ugly by design and totally clashes with the heavenly music and graceful beings around her. I almost wonder now if this was a gesture of a not-so-subtle 'Fuck You' from the animation department to the heads instead of just pure racism. It is almost like a chorus member in the middle of the big concert deliberately choosing to sing off-key, so as to ruin everybody's grand performance: is that what this is?? Is this guy just Trolling? If he is, well my hat's off to you sir, whoever you are, that's some of the best damn trolling I have ever seen. Either way though, it pisses me off. Fantasia is a huge groundbreaking masterpiece, it approaches us as adults and gives us a treat of for the first time in cinema seeing silent art just move and flow to beautiful music, letting our imaginations run wild. It doesn't go with this sort of humor. It doesn't go practically with humor of any sort at all. I'm not saying classical music and Art needs to be dry or pretentious, but I am saying that we have the ability to stand still for a moment and hold our breath just for something magnificent once in a while, and not have some crass pop culture, race, or sex joke slipped in every five seconds. In some media that works, but here, it doesn't need it at all.

So there you go. If you're still here, hope you enjoy all this, let me know what your thoughts are/maybe fill out a meme of your own, and remember, this is my OPINION ONLY, and I don't declare any of these above shows/productions to be in of themselves godawful, I just dislike these particular characters from them. If you wholly enjoy Naruto, Peter, Petunia, etc, my hat's off to you. Just don't attack me for dissing your heroes, as we all are entitled to our opinions and I am sure much of my favorite cartoons are positively loathed by other people too. Thank you for all the wasted time you just spent reading this, I'm deeply flattered.
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