Ireth: And then... Picture

Gain son of Grannor and Ireth the Wandering met during a campagin of the men of Gondor to reclaim the stolen lands of Umbar. Ireth was not nearly as bitter as she is presently and the two immeaditly found an attraction, as Gain actually had an ounce of the fire that accompanies the hearts of men (something not seen in the eyes of the world-weary elves), and Ireth was a fresh breath of air to the warrior of Gondor who had been locked in a fruitless war with the Corsairs for years. Ireth was also a Silvan elf, so she did not appear nearly as high-and-mighty to the man.

Their romance was short and dirty. It was not meant to last. Gain found the comany of a human woman more pleasurable than Ireth's, and when the scorned elf, who was no longer a maiden, discovered this, she turned him into a newt. Somehow, the men of Gain's battalion learned of the .. details of Gain and Ireth's affair, and translated these events into an obnoxiously obscene drinking song that has lasted for centuries

"You've heard the whole song, I take it."
"You're not a man until you have."

Because premarital sex is unheard of in Elvish society, and because the song detailed the existance of a birthmark on Ireth's person in a very embarrassing place, Ireth the Wandering became known as Ireth the Unfortunate in Middle Earth folklore, and she has hated humans with a passion ever since. Ireth still wanders, engaging herself in any conflict that can use the aid of an elvish warrior, hoping to reclaim her lost dignity so she can sail to the West with honor.

Tolkien mythology obviously belongs to JRR and Christopher Tolkien. Ireth and Gain are my own creations, as is the idea that an elf would participate in a Gondor seige of Umbar.
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