skwisgaar Picture

(Voiced by Brendon Small) Skwisgaar Skwigelf (taller than a tree) is the lead guitarist of the band and the fastest guitarist alive. Despite this talent, he can't read music, which he blames on "music dyslex-kia". Skwisgaar plays a black Gibson Explorer with a pearl pickguard. The guitar appears to be waterproof, and he is rarely seen without it. He practices guitar constantly and in many odd places, such as in church and in the hot tub; the episode "Dethklown" even shows him playing in his sleep and in "Go Forth And Die", his skeleton plays for a short time before crumbling (in Nathan's dream). He often disparages Toki's skill as a guitarist, and is responsible for writing the bass lines. In fact, along with Nathan and Pickles, Skwisgaar seems to be one of the actual musical forces in the band, as opposed to Toki and Murderface, who frequently are shown to have their tracks either written over or mixed out almost completely. In "Cleanzo" it is implied that Skwisgaar is one of Dethklok's main songwriters as he (along with Nathan) admonishes Murderface at length for never writing a single song for Dethklok.

Skwisgaar is said to be "taller than a tree" (but, since this is only said in the title music, it has yet to be proven) and seems to dislike the Danish even though he often confuses them with the Dutch.[9] He is also severely allergic to cilantro, which is made apparent when Nathan's barbecue sauce (Explosion Sauce) with cilantro in it is poured on his hands and then licked before a show and he almost immediately goes into anaphylaxis (specifically, his face and hands swelled dramatically).[10] On the November 2007 issue of Guitar World magazine, he is also allergic to wasabi which created the same problem with cilantro.[11]

On his Gibson Explorer, he has EMG 81 and EMG 85 pickups. His hardware includes Krank Revolution and Krankenstein amplifiers, multiple Krank Krankenstein guitar cabinets along with Toki, a directly connected Line 6 PODxt effects processor, a Dunlop Crybaby wah pedal (Dimebag Darrell signature model), Digitech Whammy Pedal, and some unmentioned MXR pedals.[12][13]

As it is shown in the episode "Performance Klok" It is shown that Skwisgaar has Ambidexterity and is able to play guitar with both hands.

Skwisgaar is from Sweden, and he consequently possesses a strong accent. He has a very poor grasp of the English language, not knowing relatively simple terms such as "image", "embezzle", "hand-burgers" and "Popsicles" (which he pronounced "popscockles"). He frequently adds the letter s to the end of many words, and conversely drops the letter from some words that require them, such as "copies" and "Pickles." An example of his addition of "s" is shown in "Dethwater" when he explains to Nathan, "Dude, we cannots tunes down any lowers!" when Nathan erases their latest album. This tendency becomes worse when he is agitated. His English is so awkward that in the episode "Dethstars", during the filming of Dethklok's movie Blood Ocean, the producers were unable to understand his lines, and ultimately, Skwisgaar's voice was completely dubbed out of the film.[14]

Skwisgaar was born to the Miss Sweden of 1956, Serveta Skwigelf (in real life, Miss Sweden of 1956 was Ingrid Goude), and does not know his father. Senator Stampingston mentions that "her neglect helped form the world's fastest guitarist," and in an interview, Skwisgaar claims that his inspiration comes from his hatred of his mother. He resents her because of her promiscuity, although he takes after her in this regard.[15]

Skwisgaar is referred to as the band's Lothario[16] ; he often brags about his many sexual conquests to Toki (going so far as to make the claim of having sex with at least 500 women the last time he was in Finland)[7] , who resents it. Skwisgaar is attracted to many different women, including the large and elderly - once propositioning an elderly grandmother in a grocery store for sex[4] , and a television announcer mentions his desire for "MILFs, GMILFs, and soon-to-be-MILFs," as well as "acquiring a stable of FBLs."[16]

Skwisgaar implies that he never wears underwear, stating that "In Sweden underwear is worn as a fetish, you know the kinky stuff. But the really exciting sexual stuff is free-balling."[17] . His bedroom is the only room in Mordhaus that is not decorated in a very dark neo-Gothic style; his all-white, sparsely furnished room reflects the Swedish Modern aesthetic[18] . He is a self-described nihilist, (but was proved wrong on religions existing by Nathan when he showed that a bible was "right over there" after which he reevaluated his life) although he sometimes uses references to Norse mythology, such as in "The Metalocalypse Has Begun", when he tells Toki he will see him in Valhalla when they think they are about to be killed.[19][5]

Skwisgaar owns a collection of bizarre exotic guitars, seen in "Skwisklok." These include a "Swiss Army-tar," an "ant farm-itar," the Gibson Excaliburtar, and a guitar supposedly made of wood from the True Cross. In "Dethtroll" and "Bluesklok," he asserts that he hates playing acoustic guitars, which he and Toki both call "Grandspa's guitars."

Skwisgaar has been in a large number of bands prior to joining Dethklok, including Agnostic Priest, Gangagar, Eldeleel-Alele, Gognog Mug Alugdug, Fuckface Academy, Sausage Assassin, Financially Raped, and Smugly Dismissed, to name a few. Other than that, he claims to have been in "pretty much every band, ever."[20] Like Pickles' affinity for the word "douchebags," Skwisgaar refers to things he hates as "dildos," even using the word as an adjective. A perfect example of both this and his poor use of grammar can be seen in the pilot episode: 'Curse of Dethklok'. Skwisgaar is attempting to force both coffee and a filter into a toaster with little success as the band attempts to feed themselves. "What is wrong wis dese dumb dildos? Dey gives us all dah free coffee in the world and no instructions on hows to COOKS it!" he states, throwing the toaster to the floor in the process.

His hands are shown being insured for ten billion dollars, one billion for each finger[10]. In "Skwisklok," he had a contractual obligation to wear "protective, solid-crystal, oxygenating hand-aquariums" when not playing, or the policy is void. In the same interview where he mentions his hatred of his mother, Skwisgaar also states that he has two side projects, a Harry Potter tribute band called "10 Points to Gryffindor", and a nudist Civil War styled band called Depantsification Proclamation, although neither has ever been seen on the show.

Skwisgaar, while not depicted as an extreme alcoholic like Nathan or Pickles, may be a recreational drug user as prior to his performance in "Skwisklok" he was discovered crying by the band's manager and tried to defuse the situation by claiming to be "totally high," although this might have been to avoid the current situation.

Skwisgaar is also the only member of the band whose last name has nothing to do with violence, with the possible exception of Pickles, whose surname, if one exists, has yet to be revealed.
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