A REAL Vampire Picture

Vampires.... Let me get this out in the open.......

I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE TWILIGHT!

Until now I have remained silent on the net about my views on this abysmal series of so called "books" and "films". The things in these media are not, nor will they ever be VAMPIRES! NEVER!

Stephanie Meyer has done nothing but turned vampires into female masturbatory aids! She has no respect for the mythology behind them, I doubt she has never even finished a book on vampires or a book period!

Heres a few simple reasons that they can't be vampires:

1. Vampires aren't fucking emo kids!

2. Vampires can't go out in the daylight!

3. Vampires don't fucking sparkle! (I can't believe I didn't hear about this part until last month!)

4. Vampires are dark and mysterious, they prey upon our fears and us, they do not play baseball!

5. Vampires can shapeshift, wether it be into bats, wolves, or clouds of mist.

6. The majority of vampires are evil, not retarded.

Vampire are creatures that envoke more fear than the night around them. Vampires drink your blood and damn your soul with a single bite.

Those are things that Stephanie Meyer will never understand. Twilight is just another way mormons are trying to ruin my life. First, I have to put up with a rather annoying one from elementary school to high school, then one who worked in the high school cost me my rightful place as valedictorian. I had the highest GPA and everyone knew it, but the lady fucked up and gave me my younger brother's GPA, and on top of that she gave the annoying mormon kid Saludictorian because "thier family has been going to the school for a long time and she wanted to honor them since they have no siblings behind him." BULL-SHIT. Seriously considering suing her lately, make HER pay my way through college so I don't have to work my ass off for it just so I can go to school. Now do you realize why Mccain would of fucked this country over? Well mormons aren't all bad, one of them is the family of one of my best friends and they've been nothing but good to me. So its really a 9/10 of them are bad thing. Where was I?

I'm not saying you can't have vampires that are good guys, I'm not saying you can't have romantic aspect to em (thats part of thier character). But you don't make the romantic (and when I say that in the context of Twilight I mean, stupid, pointless, wouldn't know it if it beat her to death, love) the whole thing and throw in a bunch of absolute crap that has NOTHING to do with the established mythology and call it "writing" or even "good". hell' even "retarded" would be giving it WAY too much credit!

What we have in the picture is a vampire of my own I've had long before this whole shit storm known as Twilight hit this once great place to live planet Earth. His origin is thus:

"Adam Negrescu was romanian man who lived in a small village. Considered by many to be an odd man, often he'd paint symbols with his own blood all over his walls. Victim of some odd OCDs and dimensia which noone understood at that time. He had an incredibly strange and perverse fascination with a fifteen year old girl just a short walk away. Her parents tried thier best to keep Adam away from her, but each failure would only lead to a much more disturbing attempt the next time around. It wasn't until he upped and asked her to be his bride that she was able to express her utter distaste of the idea. This drove the unblanced man even more mad, for that very night she was abducted from her room, tied to a chair and dressed in a bridal gown made from animal skins (and they weren't cleaned very well either). He paraded around in his small home while she wept and attempted to call for help. Smacking her, he then took a knife and sliced thier palms! Pooring thier blood into a chalice, he drank eagerly and then forced her to as well. After this insane marrige in which he was the minister, congregation and groom he "forcibly consumated" the marriage. The young girl's parents awoke late at night to a loud thud on thier door. When they went to see what had caused the noise. To thier horror it was thier daughter's head laying on thier doorstep with Adam standing and laughing in the distance! Nearly in shock they were able to round up a mod to finally put Adam out of their misery for good! As Adam ran to the graveyard he tripped over a gravemarker, and when he looked upwards while getting back up on his feet he saw a man in a long black robe.... The gentleman threw him against the wall of a nearby mausoleum, and took his neck in his mouth... Draining his blood, Adam felt weak as he fell back to the ground.... Awaking within ten minuts to the sound of the villagers closing in on him he attempted to escape, but was spotted. The crowd chased him until he was cornered by a clifface. When a villager lept up to attack Adam fought back! Scratching the man with some new, sharp nails he unintentionaly severed his arteries! More joined the fight, and one by one they fell... Adam didn't really seem to "get" what was going on, but all he really cared about was the sweet taste of another's death... When he was done with his deranged spree the black robed man appeared again, he told him about how his bite had transformed him into a creature of the night and that he should be drinking the blood of those he had slain, so he may do so again. Not "all there" Adam did so. Now immortal, the maniac lives with the man who gave him these "gifts" who is known by many as Count Dracula. In his castle, Adam still has a thing for "little girls" and often abducts them. A dangerous creature only made more so...."

Anyway, I say the only way to end this is to take Stephanie Meyer and behead her with a gravedigger's spade and burying her at a crossroad! THATS how you deal with vampire the old school way!
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