PVN Special: Twilight Picture

I was asked to do a Twilight PVN, and I was not going to let a fan down, heh heh heh heh.
All right, let me address the problems I have with Twilight, as there are many.
1. Vampires are bad guys, the sooner everyone remembers that, the better
2. Werewolves, even if they are some kooky Native American tribe, are still feral and do NOT sign pacts with vampires, Jesus
3. The main characters are emo's, dear Jesus, why are so many girls worshiping them like gods?
4. Clearly the writer has never looked at a single book of vampire mythology. Sure, I'll accept that things like the original mythology from India which said that vampires must count all the seeds which are spread across a gravesite, is a little out there, but come on! I mean these vampires walk around in broad daylight, they do not sleep in coffins and the amount of other mistakes that were made are astronomical. Listen to me, crack pot author of Twilight, YOU CAN NOT TAKE MYTHOLOGY AND FOLK-LORE AND THEN BEND IT OVER AND F-IT UP THE ASS! These stories were written to frighten locals and whatnot, they were established stories which should not be screwed with. I mean COME ON! When did the world go insane and start listening to stupid films like Twilight with no actors who are known in any other places than their own homes, and stop listening to HUGH JACKMAN! Van Helsing was awesome, you deny that, you're a liar.

So in conclusion, Twilight sucks balls
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