Anti-Pooh's Adventures Squad of killb94 Picture

The Leader: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (from 1987 Full Metal Jacket) He is tough and rigid as fuck, but he's actually very respectful to the members of this squad. He totally acknowledges how brave these folks are for deciding to sign in and fight the Pooh-freaks... Don't worry, though... He's gonna use all his verbal insult powers to taunt and make cry that internet scum! «What is this Mickey Mouse shit? What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing with people's childhoods?!? Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o' shit, BrerDaniel, or did you have to work on it?! Oh that's right, BrerDaniel, don't make any fucking effort to quit taking from other cartoons and movies and use your own fucking imagination! If God would have wanted you to come up with something original he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?! Did your parents have any children that lived? Yes? I bet they regret that, you're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress, you best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!!!»
By the way, dear Pooh-freaks, if you're planning to kill him... Let me tell you that you WON'T like to kill this guy. Trust me, it'll make matters worse. Much worse...…

The 2nd in Command
: Ellen Ripley (from the Alien series) The muse who inspired many kickass fictional female characters. I don't need to go in depth about why I choose her, she's smart, she's cunning, she's an awesome soldier and above all knows how to keep control of the situation when the previous leaders fail. She is a woman with a firmness made of steel and she won't back up at all towards Pooh-freaks who're trying to ruin more stuff.
«Get away from that property, YOU BITCH!»

The Brains: Rick Sanchez (from Rick and Morty) I just wanna see how this magnificent bastard of a mad scientist would mess up those Pooh-freaks!

The Brawler: Kratos (from the God of War videogames) It's motherfucking Kratos, the dude who took the place of Ares the god of war by fuckin' killing him. If he's able to eliminate mythological heroes, monsters and even gods and titans, he'll exterminate the Pooh-freaks without any effort.

The Weapons Expert: Nicholas Angel (from 2007 Hot Fuzz) Here comes the fuzz, ladies and gentlemen. Police Constable Nicholas Angel, graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in politics and sociology, attended Hendon College of Police Training, displayed great aptitude in field exercises. He received the "Baton of Honor" and he has received nine special commendations. He achieved the highest arrest record for any officer in the MPS, all while sustaining only three injuries in the line of duty and most importantly... He knows how to use weapons even more than Kratos himself, bitches. Plus being very smart and having some very strong leadership skills, he has formed a bond with Ripley, in fact when they team up and fight together they're an unstoppable combo of badassery.

The Magic User: Egg Shen (from 1986 Big Trouble in Little China) Can't believe nobody recruited this awesome grandpa already. He's like a mix between Baron Münchausen and Mister Miyagi, he's just as charming as he is a badass magician you shouldn't fuck around with. If some Pooh-freak tries to stop the team with some creepy manchild bullshit, Egg Shen would just use his magic to blow that fucker to pieces and then he'll make every member of the Squad drink his magic potion to kick all those losers' sorry asses.

The Stealth Expert/Spy: Mystique (from the X-Men franchise) A slick (and sexy) mutant chick with shapeshifting powers. Enough said.

The Chronicler: Feral Kid (from 1981 the Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior) While he's gonna be an interesting member of the Squad as an animalistic little weirdo, Feral Kid will serve the purpose of remembering and narrating the team's quests of killing all Pooh-freaks once he ages... In the meanwhile he'll kill some himself with his metallic boomerang. «My life fades, the vision dims... All that remains are memories. I remember a time of chaos ruined many childhoods on the web... But most of all... I remember the Anti-Pooh Warriors!»

The One Who's Way Crazy-Prepared: Ash Williams (from the Evil Dead series) Again, just like with Egg Shen, I have no clue why people didn't pick this guy for the meme already. He is the one who got all sorts of weird-ass shit in the classic movies of the series, but he came out of them, absolutely crazed out, but still in one piece. And if stuff gets really tough, he's gonna use his chainsaw and the boomstick against Pooh-freaks. He got possessed and shot a living copy of himself in the face, these fools are full of shit if they think of having ANY chance of driving this guy crazy with their bullshit.

The Heart: Mister Spock (from the Star Trek franchise) Ah, yes. Mister Spock himself. He is the ideal heart of the team in my opinion, the ultimate voice of reason. Someone like Spock is what is needed if you decide to go fight the Pooh-freaks and watch their shitty, poorly made crossovers. It is so easy to give in and go absolutely nuts after losing all your I.Q. points by witnessing the horrors of the Pooh-freaks, therefore Mister Spock has the job of keeping up everyone's spirits and maintain everyone mentally sane with his wise and encouraging words. Spock is the only person Sergeant Hartman is mild to when he consults him, and he's even able to tame the Team Pet. AND he knows how to kick some ass.

The Team Pet: Rexy (from 1993 Jurassic Park & 2015 Jurassic World) Rexy, the Tyrannosaurus Regina! Do I seriously need to explain why she's so fucking awesome and worth? She is the ultimate weapon that the Squad releases when stuff gets really tough, and no Pooh-freak has the guts to fight her... Because she's already chewing them.

The Survivors-killer: Lionel Cosgrove (from 1992 Braindead) His job is plain and simple. After the Squad is done insulting, calling after their shitty crossovers and fighting the Pooh-freaks, Lionel gets his lawnmower and takes care of the remaining morons to exterminate. Look at Lionel go!… By the way, those aren't zombies, those are the people who defend Pooh's Adventures. The fact that they could just be mindless zombies would explain alot, though.

Meme: Anti-Pooh's Adventures Squad Meme

Continue Reading: Hero