We luv Theseus Picture

Beware, long explanation ahead!
So nowadays I'm playing with this game called "Zeus: Master of Olympus" made by the company Impression Games. It's a pretty old (around 2003) Greek city-builder but it kicks so much ass it's not even funny. I'm not saying it's perfect, it has its flaws, but overall it's pretty addicting. It's not just the usual boring pulling-up-houses-and-trading-with-other-cities type, but also you have to defend your home against rival rulers, monsters and even the freaking gods themselves. No matter what you do, at least one monster or god will always be on your tail to make things way more interesting. I love it. The only thing I don't like about this game is the design of some of the monsters and gods. I mean, Poseidon chills around in freaking flippers. Pretty much all of the gods just look awful.
Now for the point of the comic. I'm playing the numerous campaigns of this game and in one of them one of your colony, Calydon gets attacked by the Calydonian Boar and they ask for help. So what do you do? Monsters can only be killed by heroes whom you can call in your city through completing a dozen requests of them (all of them needs wine, e.g.). You build the Hero's Hall (which already costs pretty much) then try your best to fulfill the jerk's requests so he may drag his ass to your city. Once you are ready and call for them, they take 1 or 2 months to arrive.
So the Calydonian Boar can only be killed by Theseus (I thought it was killed by Heracles, but I'm too lazy to look it up). You know, the jackass who ditches the girl who saved his life onto a deserted island? Guess what, he is a complete ass in this game as well. Correction, he is the biggest coward I have ever seen. Among his request there is this one: "Wall surrounding his Hall". Theseus is such a wuss that he needs a freaking FORTRESS around his home, otherwise he will not come to your city. No other hero asks for such a thing. How much lamer can it get?!
Actually it gets lamer. Once you sent him off to save your colony Calydon and he returns "triumphantly", all seems good, until 3 months later you get another message that Calydon is terrorized by the Boar YET AGAIN. A monster does NOT come back once you killed it. So what does that mean? That means that this idiot Theseus is so lame he can't even kill the Boar! I don't what the hell he does, maybe chase it away somehow?! The only other monster that does this returning business is Talos, the bronze automaton made by Hephasteus, and even he has an excuse since Hephy can always recreate him once he steals the remains of the bronze giant (and Hephy does that, so says the game itself).
So there you go, Theseus is a complete ass.
End of rant. Have a nice day.
Continue Reading: Calydon